100 Blogs in 100 Days: (Day 23) - "Relief"

Throughout the day I was really excited about our film showing at the Market Arcade earlier this evening. It wasn't how you think though. I wasn't sitting around nervous or worried about my performance. I felt like I was fine. I make people laugh, that's what I do. Sometimes it's a chuckle or a smile and other times it's rolling on the floor laughter. I can't help myself sometimes. If I see an opportunity to drop a line, an observation or just be my silly self, I can't resist. To pun or not to pun...



Most of the day I found myself thinking about the rest of the team. I thought about the leads and how their nerves could be going. I especially thought about the female lead because she is a friend of mine. Plus I know that the nerves for her were beginning last night. I thought about our producer and all the time, energy and even the money she put into it. Typical Ed I guess. I was more worried about others than myself. On a personal note I lost my voice due to overuse from last weekend and as I'm typing this I think it is still only 75%. I may need 2 or 3 more days before I get my sexy back.



When the lights went out earlier tonight and the films started I might have felt a tinge of nerves but it went away quickly. I thought there's nothing that can be done now. It was what it was and what it turned out to be was really funny, especially the first half of it. Creatively I didn't fight for what I wanted (a different ending) because of the time constraints and I didn't want to bark too loudly. This wasn't my baby. I was just an uncle or a cousin. Yeah I wrote a little, made some suggestions and acted if that's what you want to call it (more like acted silly) but as the host tonight at the films mentioned, it's not easy to get 5 or 10 people in a room to agree.



So now that's it's over I feel great. As I mentioned I wasn't too nervous which surprised me but there was a dull weight I felt because the project wasn't finished until we saw it on the screen. At least that's how I saw it. Like a mama bird I couldn't completely let it go until it was ready to fly out into the world on its own. Almost the second it was over I felt incredible relief. The adventure was over... time for the next one! Before I start down that road I think I need to get my voice back first!