I was working on this during the first week of January and a funny thing happened. I got sidetracked, forgot about this and it sat in a desktop folder waiting to be finished. Recently someone brought up something that led me back to this unfinished work and I finished it. This is just personal sillyness and it's very long so I wouldn't read this if I were you unless you are in detention, stuck at work or want to earn some brownie points and by brownie points I mean I'll give you a brownie if you read it.
2009- The Year in Review
This is a fun project for me. Over the next several thousand words I am going to recap my 2009. I confess I am doing it for 2 reasons and both are them are pretty much for me alone. The first is to reflect on the past year. I want to relive the joy, savor the good and learn from the mistakes. I want to cherish all of it for better or worse before I let it go. Secondly I want to document it in writing for reference. I’ll come back to it a few years down the road and be reminded of people, places, things, ideas and emotions. Maybe I’ll read it in a few years and get a warm fuzzy feeling inside. One can only hope.
I compiled all this from previous blogs, journal entries, random scribblings and memory of course. Highlights of the past year:
January 09:
-Lawsuit – The biggest thing that happened to me in January 09 was the conclusion of my lingering lawsuit against the woman who ran me over with her car in December 07. At this point my injuries had healed with the exception of the psychological damage and deep paranoia which I still carry whenever I have to cross at a busy intersection. If you are interested in what happened that dreadful day you can look back in my blogs/notes on here and you can read all about it.
This moment when it was finally over and all I had left to do was sign paperwork at my lawyer’s office was finally when I felt some measure of closure. I distinctly remember my lawyer’s assistant who seemed just a little disappointed that I was able to rehab my physical injuries completely and that even my partially torn knee ligament healed. It closed the door to bigger mounds of cash. That’s okay though, I prefer having full use of my legs.
-Blades of Fury – One of the more enjoyable moments of this month was when I went to the Pepsi Center and donned the ice skates after being told only a year earlier that I would probably not be able to ice skate any more. After going around a few times and starting to feel confident in my knee my thoughts shifted from wondering if I would hold up to wondering if I would crash into someone… just like old times! I began to wonder if I would be better off not skating… not so much for my well being or my knee but as far as public safety goes. That was definite progress. Let’s just say I’m not Brian Boitano out there.
-1st Date – I went out on a date with a pretty social worker for my first date of the year. She had an everyday natural kind of pretty which is my favorite kind. If you have to put on a ton of makeup and other products to be and to feel pretty, then I probably wouldn’t be interested. Just be yourself baby. I want someone who is pretty in real, everyday life. When she’s dishelved and thinks she looks terrible and I’m licking my lips… that kind of pretty. Anyway, she was all of that and we talked for 2 hours until the place kicked us out because they were closing. Historically, I’ve always taken that as a good sign, when you are talking with someone and it’s going so well that you lose track of time and find yourselves being booted out of the place. Unfortunately though, we never went out again.
-Street poet – I went to a poetry reading open mic finally ready to read one of my pieces in front of a crowd for the first time. Unfortunately something happened on my way to the stage. It turned out that this was going to be the last poetry gig at the venue and the host booked the entire night in advance with friends and regulars to read instead. There would be no open mic for me and no poetry reading debut. Instead, in front of 3 people on the corner of Allen and College I read/performed my piece. I think it received favorable reviews. With both of my favorite open mic poetry readings shutting down around this time, my desire to both write and read performance pieces has waned although I still possess a “special” folder which contains at least a dozen finished pieces which may never see the light of day and may never be performed in front of people again which makes me a little sad.
-Sledding Fury – In January I had the opportunity to do something I hadn’t done since I was a teenager when I met a handful of friends over at Chestnut Ridge for hardcore sledding. A lot of things had changed since I went sledding last. The first was that I was a lot bigger than I was then. The second was that nowadays I tend to feel the little aches and pains unlike when I was a kid when only really big injuries hurt. The third was that I had never sledded down a “real” hill. As it turned out I only went down the hill one time. Why only one time? Well perhaps you should refer to my blog from this time period called “Eddie and the Ice Wall”.
February 09:
-Paid in Full – This was one of my highlights of the year. With a few clicks of my mouse I wiped out the rest of the student loan debt I had from back in 2001. When I was laying out my finances for the next month it really sunk in that I didn’t have to send a payment any longer. Incurring more student loan debt is one of the primary detractors for resuming my higher priced education.
-Tubular Tubing – Though not quite the debacle my sledding trip turned out to be I was able to make a trip out to Colden and Kissing Bridge to check out the Colden Tubing Company. The chutes for the tube are steep and they actually have lights telling everyone next in line on top of the hill to go. Due to my fear of heights I probably dug my feet into the ground to brake a little more than most. The bright side was I faced a fear, did it numerous times and achieved a lifelong dream of riding an inner tube face first and face down a slippery ice hill.
-Do you Really Want to Hurt Me - Another fear I have/had is singing in public. I’m afraid I don’t have the greatest singing voice and I probably go flat sometimes but I discovered a Karaoke place where you can rent a little room with your friends and sing only in front of people you know. This enabled me to finally grab the mic and bust out some Culture Club, Spandau Ballet, Billy Joel, Michael Jackson, and well you get the idea. What can I say? I’m a Karma Chameleon, I come and go.
-Slam Dunk - February also proved to be the end of my pickup basketball career. It had been coming for a few years as it became tougher and tougher to play ball with today’s youth. It’s not that my skills weren’t good enough it was just all the trash talking, arguing, and hacking. For those who don’t know, hacking is a slang term for people who are recklessly physical. It’s like no one knows how to play defense anymore. Every time I’d get the ball in the post someone was going to club me in the head or somewhere else on my body. When they repeatedly do this ballers like me refer to them as hacks. The last straw occurred when I began going with a friend or two to play with these older guys. We thought the atmosphere was more mature and less annoying but all that ended when a guy took out his frustration on me physically and then became even more upset when I had the nerve to object to it. Basically he clubbed me in the face because someone else clubbed him in the face a minute earlier. What the hell is that? That guy almost pushed me into a fight and that’s when I decided I didn’t need to play competitively any longer. Don’t get me wrong, if I get the chance to shoot some hoops I will still do it but b-ball is no longer a regularly scheduled part of my life because other people ruined it for me. The problem is that to play the game you need other people.
March 09:
-2 Wheels - I was bikeless for almost a year at this point which might have been a record for me. Finally, I broke down and purchased a bike but this time I avoided the Schwinn shuffle I would make every year or every other year when I would just go to Target and get the latest Schwinn model for $125-$150. This time I thought I would splurge and sample the good life of bike. I went to a real bike shop and tried out several bikes and found one adjusted perfectly to my size and style. I bought a Diamondback comfort bike for several hundred dollars and when I rode it home that day it was like nothing I had ever experienced. To paraphrase Ferris Bueller, if you have the means I highly recommend it or something like it. It’s in the closet for the winter but I can’t wait to break it out in March or April.
-Does Not Compute - Another new toy I acquired was my new PC. My old one suddenly became very moody and then downright mean. Thankfully past computer troubles helped to make this one of the easiest transitions I’ve ever made from one system to the next. Because there have been times where when a computer died, I lost everything. I think that happened in 2002. This time I had nearly every important thing backed up on an external hard drive so I lost very little. Yay technology!
-Every Breath I Take – I went to the doctor with what I thought was bronchitis for the 6th or 7th time and the diagnosis came back a little different than I expected. The doctor said I had a reactive airway, meaning that normally I’m fine but sometimes when in the presence of respiratory irritants like dust, mold, smoke and worse my airway gets a little ornery and constricts a little giving me bronchitis like symptoms. A few weeks prior to seeing the doctor I cleaned a smidge of mold from one corner of a wall in my apartment. So if you have any mold, cigarette smoke or dust you are looking to get rid of, don’t look at me.
April 09:
-Go Deep! – Coming off of our coed football title in the fall we were back to try to repeat. There were some big changes though. Our team split in half. We were now 2 separate teams and we had to make up for the loss of talent and depth by bringing in new players to our side. Bringing in new players is always tough because they have to learn the nuances of the league and how the games are played plus they have to get comfortable going out there and making plays. Not everyone can do that. Surprisingly the newer players contributed and our core players were as good as usual so we found our way back to the title game looking for our 2nd title in a row. Unfortunately it rained a lot during the game and the field was soup negating our speed advantage. I caught a beautiful sliding touchdown and grabbed an interception in the 1st half and we thought we were on our way but 2 interceptions by our quarterback and some bad luck put us behind by 5 points with 5 minutes left. I was inserted to play quarterback at this point. Both the team and the ball were wet and muddy and the momentum had swung the other team’s way. The first few passes on the drive were dropped and I felt the season slipping away but somehow we completed the next 3 including a beautiful 20 yarder to the back corner of the endzone for the touchdown and the lead. The only problem was that the other team still had about 2 minutes left to answer and unfortunately with about 14 seconds left they did and won the title. It was a hell of a game though and despite not winning the title, it felt like a pretty good season.
-Dead Air/Ed Air – Late April marks one of my favorite times of year as I got to once again participate in WBNY’s Alumni weekend and revisit my former radio career as Crazy Eddie. Considering I only do one show a year and I worry about it that whole week, I really feel good about my performance last April. I babbled a bit and maybe even went off on a rant or two but for the most part I didn’t botch anything, all the music flowed to my liking and I had a lot of fun! I have a tape of the show, but I have not transferred it to my computer yet to post somewhere for all to listen. One of these days I will. I can’t wait for this year’s show which is only about a month away. Get ready!
May 09:
-Meeting Johanna – My friend Johanna came to town in early May and stayed with me for a week. She had never been to Buffalo before and I had never had a houseguest before so it was a very educational experience all around. We did have a lot of fun though, taking 2 hour walks to get burritos, going to see Roller Derby, watching a bunch of movies, and chatting about life and other things. It was such a pleasant time. Plus she cleaned up after herself nicely. Unfortunately the only regret I have is that we didn’t take a picture together which would have been really cool.
-Play Ball! – During the spring and summer I was on 3 softball teams. I was first tried out at shortstop but my weight gain this year made it increasingly hard to make the dynamic plays I am capable of so after one particularly error filled game I settled back into my home position of first base. Defensively I feel like I get better at first each year. I mean I can do the split to snag a mildly errant throw but I’ve been getting better and better at digging balls out of the dirt on a hop or two and that’s really gratifying. My hitting was the worst it’s been in a while though and that needs to get fixed this spring!
-You killed my father, prepare to die - The city of Buffalo and Shea’s have a little program going on where they’d show a classic children’s movie at Shea’s. It was/is called Free Family Film Series and has been going on for 20 years. Movies included last spring were The Goonies, Back to The Future and one of my all time favorites, The Princess Bride. When I was little my father never took me to the movies mostly because of his self-consciousness over his emphysema and the coughing fits that came with it on occasion. So I had never seen The Princess Bride on the big screen until I saw it at Shea’s. It was great to see it with a thousand kids in attendance and to take in their reactions to things. They would shriek and cheer and go bananas when a good guy bested a bad guy… it was very cool. It almost brought me back to that age. Plus I was even THAT GUY because I wore my Princess Bride t-shirt to the show. I felt a little of that catty womanly stereotype when I discovered 2 other guys in attendance had the same mail order shirt. The nerve of them! I spent most of the intermission plotting ways to get rid of them, but with so many people around getting rid of them would be utterly and in all ways inconceivable.
Jun. 09:
-Shout! - Part of the fun of playing in the football league I play in is that often times we get to play playoff games at Ralph Wilson Stadium. We played our first round playoff game there and won something like 26-6. We could see replays up on the scoreboard and there was music pumping throughout the stadium during the games. Plus the field there is so soft and nice. It’s fake grass but boy is it nice. I could have slept right there in the end zone if it wasn’t for the teams needing it for their games. I hope we get to go back this spring.
-Gay bingo – I went to bingo for the first time but that wasn’t enough of a novelty for me so I went with a bunch of friends to Buffalo Gay Bingo. Its bingo but it’s dressed up into a campy, fun bingo experience. There are many reactions we had to learn for certain numbers and if someone won we got to call them bitches. Plus most of the proceeds went to some very good causes regarding HIV or AIDS treatment locally. They have one every month near the Elmwood Avenue area and each month is a different dress up theme. I didn’t dress up for the one I went to but that didn’t matter because some guy gave me his phone number within 15 minutes of getting there. In case you are wondering, no I didn’t call him. It was very flattering and strange for me at the same time but I likes the womens too much.
-Date night - My next date of 2009 occurred during June. She was an interesting woman who came from tragic circumstances. I won’t get into it too much here but while it was a pleasant conversation it didn’t work out. I don’t think she wanted to date someone so silly and I didn’t like her lack of a sense of humor which is one of my big 3. If a female has a good sense of humor, is nice and is down to earth she’s got a chance with me but if any of those things are missing it’s really tough for me to look past them. It doesn’t even matter how pretty she is at that point. Like I said though, she wasn’t into me so it was no big loss and I don’t think anyone was hurt. It was nice to meet a new person and to slightly tap into a new perspective on things. Remember kids, we don’t learn anything from people who are just like us.
Jul. 09:
-4th of July – I spent the 4th of July in South Buffalo at a friend’s house having a few drinks, laughing and playing street football at 12:30 in the morning. It was a really good time with several drunken characters around to entertain everyone. The highlight of the evening was about 3 blocks away this guy, who I’m told does it every year, put on his own fireworks display which rivaled some of the fireworks shows I’ve seen at baseball games and other large scale events. The great part was that we walked a block over and we were so close to it that we could hear every pop and crackle with great clarity. With shorts on I must have been bitten a few dozen times by mosquitoes as we stood in the calf high grass watching the 10-15 minute show but it was worth it. Needless to say if I’m not doing something big this year I’d like to go back and see this show again!
- Old Fort Niagara – Speaking of fireworks I had the great honor to go to Old Fort Niagara to see a large scale reenactment of the war between France and England that occurred 250 years ago at that fort. There were thousands of people dressed as soldiers and we would go from place to place around the fort to see the individual battles fought all over again. The cannons were so loud and awesome. The soldiers came in all shapes and sizes with some wearing the green of Ireland, the kilts of Scotland and others were dressed as American Indians who inhabited the area and aided one or both sides. The picnic areas and fields around the fort were transformed into little tents and huts selling food and other items that were reflective of the period. Thankfully there was also a nice modern burger tent or two as well... sorry weird jerky like substance. The Fort is a beautiful piece of local history and it’s right on Lake Ontario which adds to the beauty. On a clear day you can see the skyline of Toronto in the distance. Check it out sometime, especially if you are a history buff.
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-The Italian Festival – I don’t have a lot to mention about the festival that’s not food related. I had great Italian Sausage sandwiches with peppers and onions. I tried a fried Twinkie which is very weird and probably very bad for you too and I remembered why I don’t care for cannolis. Unfortunately it took me to eat one to jog my memory. On the very bright side, it’s the best Italian sausage sandwich I get to eat all year so I can’t for this year’s festival.
Aug. 09:
-35! - I celebrated my 35th birthday in August and I wonder if that’s why I did so many memorable things that month. I took the day off from work which I rarely ever do and I went with a friend down to Tift Farm nature preserve. We walked all over the beautiful natural landscape and I took plenty of pictures which are in one of my folders on facebook. It was serene and beautiful. I ended up going back to the same place that night for a night walk with tour guides and a much larger group of people. Actually I believe they referred to it as a midnight stroll. I’ve had wilder birthdays but this one was memorable for how tranquil it was.
-The Big Red Ball - In the fall of 2008 I was on an indoor kickball team and we won the league championship. I don’t know how we did it, but we did. In early August I joined up with a bunch of people I hardly knew or didn’t know at all to play on an outdoor team for the first time. I was told that the team wasn’t too good and that it wouldn’t be too competitive and I was thrilled to hear it. After all the other sports I’ve played in recent years it would be nice for a change if whatever happens out there didn’t mean so much. I believe we ended up winning only one game but I had fun every time we played… so much fun in fact that I am playing again when it starts up in May. Plus I am now friends with nearly everyone who played on the team which is very cool. I’ve played on other teams where when the season ends and we go our separate ways but maybe that’s why I had so much fun playing on this team and less fun playing on those other ones… good peeps.
-Party like its 1901 – On a weekend morning in August I went on a Pan American Exposition walk courtesy of the Buffalo Historical Society. At the time I was already a big fan of studying the proud history of this city and going on this walk only strengthened my desire to learn. We walked around the area just above Hoyt Lake and with the aid of maps and pictures we could see exactly where many of the important buildings, exhibits and decorations stood. It was so fascinating to me. If they offer the walk again this spring/summer, I’m going.
-At the Elmwood Festival of the Arts I drank many Pina Coladas out of a large faux coconut looking container while wearing a few Hawaiian Leis. Many people saw me doing this and many females giggled and/or smiled at me. I don’t have more to add here other than to say: hey ladies, I still have the coconut.
-Bust a Move – At the end of the month I checked out the The Art of Hip Hop 4, an annual weekend devoted to the history and love of hip hop music and culture. Nowadays hip hop inhabits the mainstream but it wasn’t always that way. At many places over that weekend there were shows, MC battles, B-Boy breakdancing battles and art. I caught the breakdancing battle at the Albright Knox and it went on for over half an hour. There were little kids, big, small, males, females and it was amazing. The best dancers were doing things I haven’t seen since I saw Breakin 2: Electric Boogaloo. The environment was positive and fun, the way hip hop used to be before all the guns, bitches and money. I’ll definitely go back this summer. Peace in the Middle East ya’ll.
Sept. 09:
-Pigskins! – My team football season was starting up again and after the previous 2 seasons (a division title and a loss in the title game) our expectations were very high. I probably blogged enough about the ups and downs of the season already so I’ll spare us from that here. The bottom line is for the season, in pretty much 8 full games I threw 34 TDs and 11 Ints, but the 3 picks I threw in the 2nd half of our first round playoff game which we lost and which caused our season to be over is something I haven’t forgotten nor am okay with. Yes that’s my competitive side coming through. Let’s just say I can’t wait for spring to kick some a$$.
- 3rd Date – I went on my third and last date of 2009. This time I met this female I met online for coffee and we eventually sat in Bidwell Park and chatted. At first I was intrigued. She seemed bright, engaging and witty but eventually I began to lose interest. It was something in the way she talked. I got the sense she was into drama and my spider sense was tingling about whether or not she was an honest person. For the record I hate drama. I try to live a simple life. Part of what makes my life a simple one is not to get too worked up on ridiculous things and not to care about other people’s affairs. To each their own. I dunno, I just had bad vibes about her and I had to trust my instincts. Some of my friends get on me about being too picky but I don’t believe in settling when it comes to people, friends or otherwise. By the end of the date I got the sense she didn’t like me that much so once again it seemed like another thanks but no thanks moment. Going 0 for 3 for the year would have made me feel really awful a few years back but I have been predominantly single for so long that the comfort level I have with the loner lifestyle is very high. Perhaps it feeds into my selectiveness but I would rather be comfortably alone than with someone who makes me anything less than happy.
Oct. 09:
-October was music month for me as I went to 2 great concerts. The first was a real treat. It was Ben Folds at Kleinhans Music Hall supported by the B.P.O. I went with a friend of mine and we wandered around because he was looking for a place to get a beer and suddenly the music started. We quickly made our way to our seats, or at least I did and there he was. Ben Folds was playing a majestic piano and the whole Buffalo Philharmonic Orchestra was playing with him. It made me think that if there were a soundtrack to heaven, it would sound like that. The BPO added depth and emotion to already emotionally charged songs. I believe when I wrote about it I called it one of the 5 best shows I’ve ever seen and I stand behind that now that I am months away from it.
-Later in the month I finally went to Babeville for the 1st time to see Andrew Bird and St. Vincent. I am a big Andrew Bird fan and that’s what got me out to the show but when I left at the end I was nearly as big a fan of St. Vincent. Both put on great shows and might have been the best double bill I’ve seen since Beck and Cibo Matto back in the mid-90’s. Also the venue is intimate and beautiful. It’s perfect for bands that sound like these. The acoustics are usually fantastic in churches and this former church was no exception. If you have a chance to see an acoustic, folky, or even indie rock or pop bands at Babeville it’s definitely worth it and will most likely sound great.
Nov. 09:
-November was a transitional month. I began to wind down and I stopped going out and doing a lot of things. I remember seeing a show at Mohawk Place the day before Thanksgiving. I remember my turkey cooking debacle on Thanksgiving day. I don’t remember much else. I saw the leaves crumbling on the ground and I saw my breath in the air each morning and my energy levels began to sink like can do this time of year. I don’t feel bad about drawing it back in a bit for a few months because I usually burst when spring comes back on the scene. It’s kind of like a life balance.
Dec. 09:
-The last month of the year started terribly but ended well. Early in December I had the misfortune of finding out online that one of my sisters had died. I felt a level of guilt and remorse because I had not spoken to her in a long time but talking and spending time with family in the time afterwards really helped to make me feel better. I think I cried every day that week.
-You often hear people say that family and friends are very important. There’s a reason why people say it… it’s true. Whenever I’m hurting I can bounce back a lot quicker if I have someone to lean on. I bet a lot of you can say that too. This past year I reconnected and began to get closer with a lot of family that I hadn’t seen or spoken to very much for many years while the family I was closest to, my mom and younger sister, slowly drifted away from me. What a strange year.
-One last highlight of the year was what has become a new holiday tradition for me. For the 2nd year in a row I went to the Screening Room to see their annual Xmas double feature: It’s a Wonderful Life and the 1951 version of A Christmas Carol starring the great actor Alistair Sim. Both times I’ve gone to this I come out feeling like a million bucks and grateful for all of life’s blessings. I feel kind of like Jimmy Stewart at the end.
Like any year 2009 featured a lot of highs, lows and memories that will stay me forever. To summarize it all down to one sentence I’d say It’s a Wonderful Life.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Coming back to life (3-15-10)
I’m back to the grind today after a very full and awesome weekend. It started off on Friday and going to ComedySportz which is just 2-3 hours of pure fun every time I get to see it. On Saturday I had to work a half day but then I spent a large chunk of the evening at a semi-surprise party for my older sister. I had the chance to meet one of my little nephews I had not yet met and it’s always nice to see and chat with family. Plus there was the Sabres game on a HD-TV and yummy food to make a good time even better.
On Sunday I went to the St. Patrick’s Day parade and had more fun than I expected. Usually large parties or gatherings are not my thing but I was with a group of people I knew which always helps and it was a good even mixture of guys and several attractive ladies in the group so I can’t argue with that. I saw some incredibly drunk people and several times I locked eyes with cute but very drunk females in a few bars and although naughty thoughts entered my mind a few times, I maintained a gentlemanly disposition throughout. There were so many trashed females who were throwing themselves at guys who were all too happy to oblige. I felt sympathy for some of them. Once upon a time I couldn’t moderate my drinking so I guess I could relate and that generated the sympathetic feelings. I’m sure many of the people I saw stumbling around yesterday are paying for it today.
As those of you who know me might have guessed I didn’t drink too much, I think it was 3 beers in 5 hours so I wasn’t drunk. Towards the end of the day out nearly everyone in my group was pretty hammered except for one person who I ended up having the most fun talking to.
It was probably the first time I went out to a bar since November so maybe my tolerance to the chaotic atmosphere was extra high since I hadn’t been to one in a while but having a good time with cool people helps me to forget about all the idiots and rudeness going on all around me which usually bothers me and consumes my thoughts when I am in those types of places.
For someone who has hardly ventured out much the past few months this weekend was a much needed and greatly anticipated wake up call. I think hibernation is officially over. We are only days away from the actual beginning of spring and my energy levels have really kicked up a few notches the past 2 weeks.
The warmer weather is surely an important factor and the impending arrival of my favorite season is another. In spring many things are reborn and it’s all around us. We cannot escape the renewed world under our feet and out as far as our eyes can see. I feel like I am a part of it. I feel like I shed my winter blues and my winter skin and I am revitalized and ready to go out to do bazillion things.
Suddenly I want to go out and see shows. Suddenly I want to go out and hang with friends. Suddenly I want to explore and I most definitely want to quote Prince and play in the sunshine. Now my hunger for playing sports, seeing music, art, culture, shows, plays, other places and other faces is growing and will be nearly insatiable before too long.
I’ve already been out on my bike for the better part of 2 weeks and it feels wonderful. I feel alive again. I know that pales in comparison to skydiving, rock climbing, wrestling bears and extreme jello walking in terms of feeling alive but for me riding a bike in traffic feels pretty dangerous. I’m easy. I don’t need much.
On a couple of the warm days I’ll ride without a hat or any kind of headgear and let the wind blow through my hair and man does that feel good. I think I am trying to say I love to ride my bike and to be able to do that once again makes me a happy guy. With all this revitalization in a strange way I feel like I’ve somehow come back to life.
The positive energy of now mixing with the rush of anticipation of what’s to come has me in a tizzy. I am jumping up and down in place thinking about needing to wear sunblock again. I can’t wait to hear the wind whip through the leaves. I can’t wait for the Sabres to rip through the Leafs… again. All this energy and a desire to go in 5 directions at once… I love it.
As far as work goes I’m going to need all this extra energy. Our staff is moving down the street one block to one of our other buildings. When you have 30,000+ items in your inventory, that’s quite a job. Add in the fact that we are expected to complete the move in 6 weeks and we have the added task of needing to help the business in the building we are moving to. We have to help them turn it around but the decks are really stacked against us. They have a brutal location, little to no promotion, an ancient store space, a budget the size of a caterpillar and an owner who is out of touch. We’ve done our own thing for 10 years or more and have had some great success but now we’re supposed to turn them around and also restart our own thing while we are performing that minor miracle. So yeah, I don’t know if I’ll still be working with this company a few months from now or if there will be a company in a few months but on the bright side if these are the last few weeks of what was a good long nearly 7 year run for me, at least it will be especially stressful, brutal and ridiculous. That’s sarcasm by the way.
On the real bright side I have so many cool things coming up in the next few weeks. Let’s see I am going to see E.T. for FREE at Sheas on Sunday (I’ve never seen E.T.!), I am going to see improv at Sugar City. I am going to Comedysportz again this weekend and a Muppet Show marathon in a few weeks. I am going to see an operatic adaptation of “Hamlet” at the Live at the Met series shown in Regal theaters here in Buffalo. I am going to get delicious pierogies at the Broadway Market one of these weekends very soon. I may go to see Roller Derby on the 27th and I’m still going to the Tuesday night UB film seminar movie series at the Market Arcade until it ends in mid-April. If any of these things sound interesting to you, feel free to ask me about them and I’ll give you the 411… whether you wish to join me or not.
In the I need to get off my butt and start jogging again department my coed football league starts up on April 3rd which is only 3 weeks away. We won the title in the fall 2008 session but in spring 2009 and fall 2009 we lost in the playoffs, both times to the same team and both times we had swept them in the regular season only to lose to them in the postseason. I’m trying to switch gears this season from quarterback to receiver which is my preferred position. I run really good routes and I catch nearly everything but with my weight being so high it reduces my speed and stamina. That’s why I am trying to slim down. I want to get my burst back. With my size and skill if I can drop 30 pounds this spring I can become a very dangerous weapon on the field. Things are going well in that regard as I’ve lost about 5 pounds so far in March.
Also coming up in about a month is the annual 91.3fm WBNY Alumni weekend. This is where I go back to Buffalo State and do a radio show and hope the equipment hasn’t changed much from the year before. I already have a few hundred songs I’m considering for the show and with a 2-hour shift and a few mic breaks mixed in I think I may have time for about 25-30 songs. So an elimination process will be happening soon. When I get a timeslot I will post it on here and let everyone and their cats know about it. I’ve had the Friday night 10pm to midnight slot for 5 years running so I hope to get that one again.
Then in May we’re talking about the returns of the kickball team and softball team(s)! I can’t wait to sweat and hustle and laugh with everyone. I probably say this every year but this spring is going to be great! With so many things going on and the right mix in the air my internal flame has been reignited. I’ve gone from simmer to high flame. Here’s to fires being lit under all of us. I hope the spring brings all of you many things to look forward to.
On Sunday I went to the St. Patrick’s Day parade and had more fun than I expected. Usually large parties or gatherings are not my thing but I was with a group of people I knew which always helps and it was a good even mixture of guys and several attractive ladies in the group so I can’t argue with that. I saw some incredibly drunk people and several times I locked eyes with cute but very drunk females in a few bars and although naughty thoughts entered my mind a few times, I maintained a gentlemanly disposition throughout. There were so many trashed females who were throwing themselves at guys who were all too happy to oblige. I felt sympathy for some of them. Once upon a time I couldn’t moderate my drinking so I guess I could relate and that generated the sympathetic feelings. I’m sure many of the people I saw stumbling around yesterday are paying for it today.
As those of you who know me might have guessed I didn’t drink too much, I think it was 3 beers in 5 hours so I wasn’t drunk. Towards the end of the day out nearly everyone in my group was pretty hammered except for one person who I ended up having the most fun talking to.
It was probably the first time I went out to a bar since November so maybe my tolerance to the chaotic atmosphere was extra high since I hadn’t been to one in a while but having a good time with cool people helps me to forget about all the idiots and rudeness going on all around me which usually bothers me and consumes my thoughts when I am in those types of places.
For someone who has hardly ventured out much the past few months this weekend was a much needed and greatly anticipated wake up call. I think hibernation is officially over. We are only days away from the actual beginning of spring and my energy levels have really kicked up a few notches the past 2 weeks.
The warmer weather is surely an important factor and the impending arrival of my favorite season is another. In spring many things are reborn and it’s all around us. We cannot escape the renewed world under our feet and out as far as our eyes can see. I feel like I am a part of it. I feel like I shed my winter blues and my winter skin and I am revitalized and ready to go out to do bazillion things.
Suddenly I want to go out and see shows. Suddenly I want to go out and hang with friends. Suddenly I want to explore and I most definitely want to quote Prince and play in the sunshine. Now my hunger for playing sports, seeing music, art, culture, shows, plays, other places and other faces is growing and will be nearly insatiable before too long.
I’ve already been out on my bike for the better part of 2 weeks and it feels wonderful. I feel alive again. I know that pales in comparison to skydiving, rock climbing, wrestling bears and extreme jello walking in terms of feeling alive but for me riding a bike in traffic feels pretty dangerous. I’m easy. I don’t need much.
On a couple of the warm days I’ll ride without a hat or any kind of headgear and let the wind blow through my hair and man does that feel good. I think I am trying to say I love to ride my bike and to be able to do that once again makes me a happy guy. With all this revitalization in a strange way I feel like I’ve somehow come back to life.
The positive energy of now mixing with the rush of anticipation of what’s to come has me in a tizzy. I am jumping up and down in place thinking about needing to wear sunblock again. I can’t wait to hear the wind whip through the leaves. I can’t wait for the Sabres to rip through the Leafs… again. All this energy and a desire to go in 5 directions at once… I love it.
As far as work goes I’m going to need all this extra energy. Our staff is moving down the street one block to one of our other buildings. When you have 30,000+ items in your inventory, that’s quite a job. Add in the fact that we are expected to complete the move in 6 weeks and we have the added task of needing to help the business in the building we are moving to. We have to help them turn it around but the decks are really stacked against us. They have a brutal location, little to no promotion, an ancient store space, a budget the size of a caterpillar and an owner who is out of touch. We’ve done our own thing for 10 years or more and have had some great success but now we’re supposed to turn them around and also restart our own thing while we are performing that minor miracle. So yeah, I don’t know if I’ll still be working with this company a few months from now or if there will be a company in a few months but on the bright side if these are the last few weeks of what was a good long nearly 7 year run for me, at least it will be especially stressful, brutal and ridiculous. That’s sarcasm by the way.
On the real bright side I have so many cool things coming up in the next few weeks. Let’s see I am going to see E.T. for FREE at Sheas on Sunday (I’ve never seen E.T.!), I am going to see improv at Sugar City. I am going to Comedysportz again this weekend and a Muppet Show marathon in a few weeks. I am going to see an operatic adaptation of “Hamlet” at the Live at the Met series shown in Regal theaters here in Buffalo. I am going to get delicious pierogies at the Broadway Market one of these weekends very soon. I may go to see Roller Derby on the 27th and I’m still going to the Tuesday night UB film seminar movie series at the Market Arcade until it ends in mid-April. If any of these things sound interesting to you, feel free to ask me about them and I’ll give you the 411… whether you wish to join me or not.
In the I need to get off my butt and start jogging again department my coed football league starts up on April 3rd which is only 3 weeks away. We won the title in the fall 2008 session but in spring 2009 and fall 2009 we lost in the playoffs, both times to the same team and both times we had swept them in the regular season only to lose to them in the postseason. I’m trying to switch gears this season from quarterback to receiver which is my preferred position. I run really good routes and I catch nearly everything but with my weight being so high it reduces my speed and stamina. That’s why I am trying to slim down. I want to get my burst back. With my size and skill if I can drop 30 pounds this spring I can become a very dangerous weapon on the field. Things are going well in that regard as I’ve lost about 5 pounds so far in March.
Also coming up in about a month is the annual 91.3fm WBNY Alumni weekend. This is where I go back to Buffalo State and do a radio show and hope the equipment hasn’t changed much from the year before. I already have a few hundred songs I’m considering for the show and with a 2-hour shift and a few mic breaks mixed in I think I may have time for about 25-30 songs. So an elimination process will be happening soon. When I get a timeslot I will post it on here and let everyone and their cats know about it. I’ve had the Friday night 10pm to midnight slot for 5 years running so I hope to get that one again.
Then in May we’re talking about the returns of the kickball team and softball team(s)! I can’t wait to sweat and hustle and laugh with everyone. I probably say this every year but this spring is going to be great! With so many things going on and the right mix in the air my internal flame has been reignited. I’ve gone from simmer to high flame. Here’s to fires being lit under all of us. I hope the spring brings all of you many things to look forward to.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
The Time Travelers Life (3-6-10)
“You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one”
-John Lennon
When you are a kid you don’t have much. We don’t know much and not much is expected of us, although don’t ask a kid that, they might disagree since they know everything. It’s true though. As kids we aren’t expected to pay bills, go to work or raise a family. Yes we had some responsibility but it was cake. We basically had school and chores. Compare that to the grown up world and it’s a vacation. Because we had so much time on our hands when we were kids we had to find things to occupy that time. In my case it was a lot of cartoons, sports, toys and maybe the occasional book.
When those things didn’t fit the bill, I spent a lot of time daydreaming and using my imagination. Sometimes I’d incorporate my imagination into the sports and toys. I remember going over to School 36 in Days Park many days after school. Someone painted a baseball strike zone box on the brick wall facing the park. I never knew who did it but I was really thankful. Occasionally I would go over there with my mitt and a tennis ball (a baseball might have damaged the wall) and I would pitch a game. I’d pretend there were batters coming up and I’d keep track of how many outs there were and what the count was. I’d pretend that if I threw a lousy pitch the invisible team would get a hit and it seemed like I was always pitching for a team that had a one run lead so it was imperative to throw good pitches. Most times I won but occasionally I’d pretend I’d lose a close game, especially if I was thinking about pitching another game right away. Then I could redeem myself and help my imaginary team to ultimate victory.
I’d use my imagination with my G.I. Joe and Star Wars action figures too. I’d grab a large box and cut it up taking a long flat side from the box or sometimes a few of them taped or bound together, lay it face down and pretend it was the interior of a space ship for the action figures. I’d find some wood or even better some Styrofoam and carve it into furniture and parts of the ship. I’d make a deck complete with stations for the crew, a sick bay, personal quarters, a rec room and usually a landing dock too. I’d pretend the crew was on a mission like something out of Star Trek, or Aliens. “Aliens” was a popular mission… a bunch of space marines going to a foreign planet to encounter something unexpected. I’d use He Man figures as ferocious monsters because they were noticeably bigger than the G.I. Joes.
When sports or toys weren’t on the menu or if I needed a break, I’d plant myself somewhere comfortable and daydream. It’s something I do to this day and it’s something I find very healthy. I think everyone should do it. Sometimes you can get away from stress, boredom and the trials of daily life simply by pretending you are elsewhere. I’d often play little games in my mind. I’d wonder what it would be like if I were Teen Wolf, Ferris Bueller or part of the Breakfast Club. What would I do different? I’d dream about being a sports hero or a singer songwriter. I’d dream about being a photographer for Sports Illustrated when they were shooting their swimsuit issue. I’d dream about winning the lottery and what I would buy and who I would help. I’d dream about so many things but one of my all time favorites that I still dream about is having a superpower.
Have you ever played that game or had that conversation? You ask, “If you could have one superpower what would it be?” Growing up I’d always change my mind. One week I wanted to be able to fly, the next I wanted invisibility. Seeing movies and reading comics would always give me more ideas. For a long time I wanted the Force, like in Star Wars. For a brief period I even wanted the Schwartz. When I was younger I could never really decide. There’s so many cool superpowers out there, how could I?
I’ll still think about it once in a while but when I do the last few years I’ve always wanted the same power: the ability to time travel. I know that sounds a tad on the selfish side but maybe that’s a byproduct of being single for as long as I have. If I had a wife or my own family perhaps I’d desire a different imaginary superpower. With the ability to time travel I think about all the wonderful things I could see. Right off the bat, if I had that ability I’d go ahead a few days and get the Powerball or Mega Millions numbers and play them. Then I’d donate most of the cash to charities because I could always get more cash later.
Imagine the possibilities with time travel. I know what some of you might be thinking, why not go into the past and stop horrific things from happening. I could stop assassinations and wars and tragedies. There are no limits to the types of things I could do but I have to be honest and however silly I have given this a lot of thought over the years. I’m not interested so much with what I could do with the superpower but more what I could see.
There are no rules for time travel because no one can do it but I feel like there’s an unwritten code or prime directive if you will about altering events in the past. I don’t have much of a conscience about tweaking the future because it hasn’t happened yet but taking something off course no matter how good intended a time traveler would be could have disastrous results. Do you remember Back to the Future? Michael J. Fox accidentally going back in time caused so much trouble he almost wiped out his family and town’s existence. Plus his tinkering with past events caused the need for not one but 2 subpar sequels! He barely did anything and he “fixed” it but even that still had ramifications. No wonder Doc Brown was all over him about not altering a single detail.
I guess I’m saying that things that happened needed to happen to get where we are. So with that in mind I would use my superpower to see things in the past, not change them. Most of my travels would be related to the arts and travel. Could you imagine being in New York City in 1976 and seeing Blondie at a dive bar? I’d go to Minnesota around 1980 and see Prince. I’d go to the Whiskey in the 60’s to see the Doors. I’d go see the Beatles at Shea Stadium. I would go to Woodstock and see all those bands and stoned naked hippies. I’d go and see old Super Bowls, old Olympic games (could you imagine being in Berlin to see Jesse Owens stick it to the Nazis in 1936?) and I’d revisit a ton of local history. I’m a huge fan of my hometown and I would absolutely love to see it in its heyday.
Before we go any further there are several important questions to be answered about my time traveling superpowers. Would I let anyone know of my power? How would I handle the logistics of the time traveling? What would I affect in my own past? What would I affect in the future?
Going a few days into the future so I can learn of the winning lottery numbers for a mega jackpot is key. It’s key because once I’m rich I don’t have to work any longer so I’d have the whole day to explore things in other times. While most would be out working, I’d be out of time. Secondly I could buy a house so I can time travel in peace and privacy. It would be my hub. No one would know I was gone for large chunks of time. Thirdly, to go back to certain times would require certain clothing, perhaps specific coins or paper money so I could blend in and not look like Marty McFly in Back to the Future where the whole town thought he was in the Coast Guard or something like that because his 80’s vest looked like a life preserver to them. My goal would be to blend in and take in the beauty and sights, not to be a spectacle or draw attention to myself. Like I said, I would give lots of cash to charities but also having tons of cash will unable my time traveling to be easier. I’d be able to buy period clothes, get authentic currency and make certain my trip would go smoothly. Even if it’s a superpower, it’s not cheap!
Would I let anyone know? I would say no, but down the road when I’ve mastered the ability, who knows. If it got out on a massive level then there would be expectations and discussions. Could you imagine? People would want me to go back and kill Hitler, stop 9/11, maybe even save Jesus, who knows? There would be debate about my actions or lack thereof. Think about it, it would be hell to have a superpower in this day and age with public knowledge. The media are everywhere, hatred still runs rampant when someone disagrees and I might even have to worry about my life because of people who would think I was the devil or in league with him. As Uncle Ben said to Peter Parker, “with great power comes great responsibility”. So the more I thought about it, the less likely I feel like I’d let anyone know I lived the Time Traveler’s Life.
I already mentioned how I feel about changing anything in the past. I would only want to go and see historic events or things that were just plain cool. I’d want to blend, not stick out. I’d be taking a great risk as it is just by going to different places. Something as simple as me littering in the past could greatly impact the future so I’d have to be careful with all my actions and even my words. I know the temptation would be there to alter my own past. I could get better grades, make the right choices, eliminate mistakes, hook up with someone I missed a chance with and even prevent bad things from happening to me but I wouldn’t do that. Changing one decision I made in the past could make things better but also it could make things remarkably worse. I’m reminded of a simple cliché, what’s done is done. I would only be a ghost of the past, nothing more.
What about the future? What would I disrupt? What would I force forward? This is very interesting. If I went ahead 30 years and brought back things would that be wrong? How I feel about affecting the past is not how I feel about changing the future. Why? Because there is no future. How do we know what will happen and when? If I went into the future and found the cure for cancer and brought it back and gave it to someone, how are we to know that the person I gave it to didn’t discover the cure anyway? Maybe I was supposed to give it to them… maybe that’s how “we” discover it. How could we know? You simply cannot know what will happen in the future, especially the further you go down the line.
Would I stop great catastrophes from happening from knowledge I’d get from the future? I think I’d do my best. If I knew something big was going to happen I would try to warn people as anonymously as I could. It would be tough because maintaining my secret would be key. Besides if I wandered around predicting the future people would think I was a crackpot or worse. Some might think I was a criminal or associated with criminals if I tipped authorities about future tragedies. They’d say, “How did you know about that? You must have been involved somehow”. I would have to carry that weight… the weight of knowing that I couldn’t prevent everything bad from happening.
Damn, the more I think about it, having a superpower would be hard work. But if and when the day comes… I’ll be ready.
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one”
-John Lennon
When you are a kid you don’t have much. We don’t know much and not much is expected of us, although don’t ask a kid that, they might disagree since they know everything. It’s true though. As kids we aren’t expected to pay bills, go to work or raise a family. Yes we had some responsibility but it was cake. We basically had school and chores. Compare that to the grown up world and it’s a vacation. Because we had so much time on our hands when we were kids we had to find things to occupy that time. In my case it was a lot of cartoons, sports, toys and maybe the occasional book.
When those things didn’t fit the bill, I spent a lot of time daydreaming and using my imagination. Sometimes I’d incorporate my imagination into the sports and toys. I remember going over to School 36 in Days Park many days after school. Someone painted a baseball strike zone box on the brick wall facing the park. I never knew who did it but I was really thankful. Occasionally I would go over there with my mitt and a tennis ball (a baseball might have damaged the wall) and I would pitch a game. I’d pretend there were batters coming up and I’d keep track of how many outs there were and what the count was. I’d pretend that if I threw a lousy pitch the invisible team would get a hit and it seemed like I was always pitching for a team that had a one run lead so it was imperative to throw good pitches. Most times I won but occasionally I’d pretend I’d lose a close game, especially if I was thinking about pitching another game right away. Then I could redeem myself and help my imaginary team to ultimate victory.
I’d use my imagination with my G.I. Joe and Star Wars action figures too. I’d grab a large box and cut it up taking a long flat side from the box or sometimes a few of them taped or bound together, lay it face down and pretend it was the interior of a space ship for the action figures. I’d find some wood or even better some Styrofoam and carve it into furniture and parts of the ship. I’d make a deck complete with stations for the crew, a sick bay, personal quarters, a rec room and usually a landing dock too. I’d pretend the crew was on a mission like something out of Star Trek, or Aliens. “Aliens” was a popular mission… a bunch of space marines going to a foreign planet to encounter something unexpected. I’d use He Man figures as ferocious monsters because they were noticeably bigger than the G.I. Joes.
When sports or toys weren’t on the menu or if I needed a break, I’d plant myself somewhere comfortable and daydream. It’s something I do to this day and it’s something I find very healthy. I think everyone should do it. Sometimes you can get away from stress, boredom and the trials of daily life simply by pretending you are elsewhere. I’d often play little games in my mind. I’d wonder what it would be like if I were Teen Wolf, Ferris Bueller or part of the Breakfast Club. What would I do different? I’d dream about being a sports hero or a singer songwriter. I’d dream about being a photographer for Sports Illustrated when they were shooting their swimsuit issue. I’d dream about winning the lottery and what I would buy and who I would help. I’d dream about so many things but one of my all time favorites that I still dream about is having a superpower.
Have you ever played that game or had that conversation? You ask, “If you could have one superpower what would it be?” Growing up I’d always change my mind. One week I wanted to be able to fly, the next I wanted invisibility. Seeing movies and reading comics would always give me more ideas. For a long time I wanted the Force, like in Star Wars. For a brief period I even wanted the Schwartz. When I was younger I could never really decide. There’s so many cool superpowers out there, how could I?
I’ll still think about it once in a while but when I do the last few years I’ve always wanted the same power: the ability to time travel. I know that sounds a tad on the selfish side but maybe that’s a byproduct of being single for as long as I have. If I had a wife or my own family perhaps I’d desire a different imaginary superpower. With the ability to time travel I think about all the wonderful things I could see. Right off the bat, if I had that ability I’d go ahead a few days and get the Powerball or Mega Millions numbers and play them. Then I’d donate most of the cash to charities because I could always get more cash later.
Imagine the possibilities with time travel. I know what some of you might be thinking, why not go into the past and stop horrific things from happening. I could stop assassinations and wars and tragedies. There are no limits to the types of things I could do but I have to be honest and however silly I have given this a lot of thought over the years. I’m not interested so much with what I could do with the superpower but more what I could see.
There are no rules for time travel because no one can do it but I feel like there’s an unwritten code or prime directive if you will about altering events in the past. I don’t have much of a conscience about tweaking the future because it hasn’t happened yet but taking something off course no matter how good intended a time traveler would be could have disastrous results. Do you remember Back to the Future? Michael J. Fox accidentally going back in time caused so much trouble he almost wiped out his family and town’s existence. Plus his tinkering with past events caused the need for not one but 2 subpar sequels! He barely did anything and he “fixed” it but even that still had ramifications. No wonder Doc Brown was all over him about not altering a single detail.
I guess I’m saying that things that happened needed to happen to get where we are. So with that in mind I would use my superpower to see things in the past, not change them. Most of my travels would be related to the arts and travel. Could you imagine being in New York City in 1976 and seeing Blondie at a dive bar? I’d go to Minnesota around 1980 and see Prince. I’d go to the Whiskey in the 60’s to see the Doors. I’d go see the Beatles at Shea Stadium. I would go to Woodstock and see all those bands and stoned naked hippies. I’d go and see old Super Bowls, old Olympic games (could you imagine being in Berlin to see Jesse Owens stick it to the Nazis in 1936?) and I’d revisit a ton of local history. I’m a huge fan of my hometown and I would absolutely love to see it in its heyday.
Before we go any further there are several important questions to be answered about my time traveling superpowers. Would I let anyone know of my power? How would I handle the logistics of the time traveling? What would I affect in my own past? What would I affect in the future?
Going a few days into the future so I can learn of the winning lottery numbers for a mega jackpot is key. It’s key because once I’m rich I don’t have to work any longer so I’d have the whole day to explore things in other times. While most would be out working, I’d be out of time. Secondly I could buy a house so I can time travel in peace and privacy. It would be my hub. No one would know I was gone for large chunks of time. Thirdly, to go back to certain times would require certain clothing, perhaps specific coins or paper money so I could blend in and not look like Marty McFly in Back to the Future where the whole town thought he was in the Coast Guard or something like that because his 80’s vest looked like a life preserver to them. My goal would be to blend in and take in the beauty and sights, not to be a spectacle or draw attention to myself. Like I said, I would give lots of cash to charities but also having tons of cash will unable my time traveling to be easier. I’d be able to buy period clothes, get authentic currency and make certain my trip would go smoothly. Even if it’s a superpower, it’s not cheap!
Would I let anyone know? I would say no, but down the road when I’ve mastered the ability, who knows. If it got out on a massive level then there would be expectations and discussions. Could you imagine? People would want me to go back and kill Hitler, stop 9/11, maybe even save Jesus, who knows? There would be debate about my actions or lack thereof. Think about it, it would be hell to have a superpower in this day and age with public knowledge. The media are everywhere, hatred still runs rampant when someone disagrees and I might even have to worry about my life because of people who would think I was the devil or in league with him. As Uncle Ben said to Peter Parker, “with great power comes great responsibility”. So the more I thought about it, the less likely I feel like I’d let anyone know I lived the Time Traveler’s Life.
I already mentioned how I feel about changing anything in the past. I would only want to go and see historic events or things that were just plain cool. I’d want to blend, not stick out. I’d be taking a great risk as it is just by going to different places. Something as simple as me littering in the past could greatly impact the future so I’d have to be careful with all my actions and even my words. I know the temptation would be there to alter my own past. I could get better grades, make the right choices, eliminate mistakes, hook up with someone I missed a chance with and even prevent bad things from happening to me but I wouldn’t do that. Changing one decision I made in the past could make things better but also it could make things remarkably worse. I’m reminded of a simple cliché, what’s done is done. I would only be a ghost of the past, nothing more.
What about the future? What would I disrupt? What would I force forward? This is very interesting. If I went ahead 30 years and brought back things would that be wrong? How I feel about affecting the past is not how I feel about changing the future. Why? Because there is no future. How do we know what will happen and when? If I went into the future and found the cure for cancer and brought it back and gave it to someone, how are we to know that the person I gave it to didn’t discover the cure anyway? Maybe I was supposed to give it to them… maybe that’s how “we” discover it. How could we know? You simply cannot know what will happen in the future, especially the further you go down the line.
Would I stop great catastrophes from happening from knowledge I’d get from the future? I think I’d do my best. If I knew something big was going to happen I would try to warn people as anonymously as I could. It would be tough because maintaining my secret would be key. Besides if I wandered around predicting the future people would think I was a crackpot or worse. Some might think I was a criminal or associated with criminals if I tipped authorities about future tragedies. They’d say, “How did you know about that? You must have been involved somehow”. I would have to carry that weight… the weight of knowing that I couldn’t prevent everything bad from happening.
Damn, the more I think about it, having a superpower would be hard work. But if and when the day comes… I’ll be ready.
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