Thank you

"Thank you"

Have you ever met someone so awful

so selfish

so terrible

that you wanted to thank them?

They made you so angry

your hands became fists

your blood boiled 

and your eyelids twitched

But afterwards

you’re kinda glad you crossed paths 

and thankful they exist… 

wait, what?

You’re left confused that someone who annoyed you 

could have meaning in your life

but I’m here to tell you why

There’s a reason we wake up in the morning 

That’s nature’s way of showing us the bright side

I know the secret as to why life is so good

because it isn’t good all the time

Where would we be 

without a little difficulty? 

We’d get bored, weak and crazy

The bumps in the road 

and the people who have the guts to tell us no 

help us grow

I mean

I haven’t learned much of anything from those who always agree.

Who nod their heads

fill me full of hot air 

and follow me

Our failures… 

Being wrong

falling down

they make us stronger

and that character we now embrace 

wouldn’t exist if everything fell into place

Could you truly have any joy 

without first feeling pain?

We wouldn’t know the first thing about sunny days 

until it rains

I’m not saying to embrace the storm

you should try to keep warm

But running inside to stay dry 

wouldn’t mean a thing without gray skies

I wouldn’t know the joy of work 

without the stains in my shirts

I wouldn’t know the value of sweat 

without having my body hurt

No pain

no gain

I look at all this knowledge I’ve gained 

and I just have to say

thanks

Am I looking forward to the pain? 

no

but we need some of these things

just not in extremes

I’m not talking about death or war

a lifetime alone 

or hopelessly poor

but you gotta go through at least one heartbreak 

to know what your heart is for…

You have to lose something 

to understand what finding it means

Dreams

wouldn’t mean that much without a nightmare or two

Strange as it seems

they’re good for you

You have to let things out 

to know what was there

because courage is meaningless 

until you’re scared

We need a yin to our yang

a balance to attain

we need to know 

that we’re not alone

Besides

what good is climbing the tallest peak 

without anyone to share it

What good is a smile 

if you’re the only one who wears it?

If you give someone a gift

you’re the one who’s gifted

If you want a better perspective in life

then you have to flip it

What would coffee be without mornings?

What would a destination be without the ride?

We have to get embarrassed a few times 

before we can know anything about pride

As much as I want to overcome adversity

a little bit goes a long way 

to understanding the value of better days

What I’m trying to say 

is we have to get through the hard times

to find the good ones

to find the best ones

So I wish you a few bumps in the road 

so you can learn to survive them

so you can learn to appreciate when the path is smooth

what winning is like after you lose

The next time you go through 

a rough patch 

remember

when you come out the other end

You’re going to come out wiser 

if you embrace the lesson 

I say thank you to those who are always in a rush

you remind me to enjoy my pace

Those who speak without thinking remind me to embrace 

my words

and those who hate show us the value of love

The louder you get

the tighter we hug

We’ll never let the darkness ruin our days

because nights only have half the say

so when your head hangs low

just know

the sun is coming

the bright side is on its’ way

Let the rain come down (8-3-17)

Yesterday was an exercise in the emotional ups and downs of life- a reminder that life is what you make it. It started off by seeing Mnemosyne. Watching Paul play wonderfully and Angela dance gracefully and beautifully, especially after what happened to her recently was simply inspiring. Next I made my way down to Kleinhans for my last solo Infringement show. Only a few folks showed up but they were wonderful and I read for them. I read many positive pieces and my new one; Disappointment is a Dish Best Served at Home"; a piece about the struggles of local artists. That's where my head's been at lately.

I scurried down to Spot Downtown to try to catch the Pure Ink National Team perform but alas I was late and missed them. Unfortunately we were scheduled at around the same time. Disappointment was beginning to set in. My faith in others, my faith in myself has been shaky lately. I needed something to bring me back.

I then headed to Mohawk Place for the Prince vs Bowie dance party, found a seat and sat my conflicted ass down. Then something wonderful happened. I watched the magic and beauty of a room full of folks, with more coming in all the time, dancing to Prince and David. There was so much joy in this place, I was sure to catch it. A smile came over me. Much thanks to Leslie for creating this event. After my spirits were lifted and my faith restored, I hit the stage to perform my Prince tribute poem "Purple Hearts". When I finished paying tribute to the greatest, several folks came over to me to express their love and thanks. A few people told me I made them or even their mom cry. I took a breath and thought sometimes I just can't see my own worth; the things I am capable to giving to others. I thought that maybe I am more than I think I am.

After watching a few performances I went outside, unlocked my bike and started the long ride home from downtown. I felt really good, like I had ended on a high note. I got about a quarter of the way home and suddenly the skies opened up. I stopped under a tree, put my valuables in a baggie, loaded them into my pack and began to despair once again. I thought of course it’s pouring when I have this long ride home. I wanted to feel dread but a strange thing happened. A smile came over me. I thought, you know, this could be quite refreshing. I resumed my journey home with my newfound attitude serving as a raincoat for my soul. I rode up Elmwood and the lightning filled the sky, the thunder echoed across the air. Save for a few cars, no one was out. It was raining too hard. Puddles were abundant, I rode through a few. Within minutes I was completely soaked so any additional rain didn't matter. Let the rain come down. The harder it rained, the more I smiled. Some words came out. I sang "I never meant to cause you any sorrow. I never meant to cause you any pain." Before I knew I was singing Purple Rain as I slowly made my way up Elmwood Avenue. I didn't stop or lower my voice as I passed people running to their cars or a cab. I sang that entire song, the guitar alive in my mind, my hands banging on the handlebars like Bobby Z on the drums. I became the Revolution. "Honey, I know times are changing". I arrived home as wet as any person can be outside of the bedroom. I was exhausted from both the physical and emotional rides I took yesterday but I was pleasantly satisfied. At least for one night, the world made sense. I think I'm gonna be alright.