I opened the door and walked out onto Elmwood Avenue carrying my bag of deliciousness. It had been several months since I had sampled Captain Jack’s fine Coconut Shrimp (free plug) and as I wandered up the avenue 20 minutes before with a chatty belly I listened carefully to it. It said coconut shrimp! And who am I to argue? Besides, it had been a long time and as I approached the big red painted fish in the window my gut told me this was the way to please my guts.
I walked into an empty fishery (is that what you’d call it?) save the woman behind the register and a man cooking in the upper back. I grabbed a menu and began to relearn all the tasty treats they offered. Since no one else was around I felt like I should hurry and find something fast so my eyes scanned the menu in a way where I probably eyeballed everything on it but couldn’t tell you one thing that I had read. Well, there was one thing. I saw the words “coconut shrimp” and only those words. The thought made my brain water and my tummy swoon.
Since I didn’t have one I put the menu in my pocket and looked up to the woman behind the counter. She had these big sparkling blue eyes. They reminded me of someone else I know and they also reminded me of the sea although I’d never been to a sea. It’s funny how something could remind you of something you’ve never seen. Regardless, I thought her eyes were apropos for this type of restaurant. I ordered and sat down blinking occasionally but every time I closed my eyes I could see those things fixed upon me waiting for me to say 3 words… coconut shrimp please.
I’m in a bit of a dreamy state today because of this paperback I’m reading and sitting in a chair next to a giant tank full of various fishes while I stared out into the nighttime on Elmwood was perfect. My mind danced around ideas, people, flashes of light and the rhythm of the little guys swimming directly to my right. I wanted to apologize to them for eating their shrimpy cousins. It had me thinking… would I feel comfortable eating a hamburger next to a cow? A ham sandwich next to pig? It was probably a good thing I was taking this home because eating it there might have felt weird.
The nice lady greeted me with a box in a bag and a nice smile. I exited the place with a deep inner smile of my own and as I crossed the street to the other side of Elmwood I noticed my tummy was now quiet. It knew the same as I did, we would be dining on yummy food in a matter of minutes.
As I hit the other side of the street in front of the Poster Art store I slowed down for a few steps while I contemplated my route. I had walked down my street to Elmwood and then walked down it until something tickled my fancy but now I wasn’t so sure I wanted to walk back down Elmwood to return to my street. Elmwood is full of distractions and while the vast majority of the time I love those distractions at a time like this I wanted a quieter, direct route so I headed down Bird towards the parkway.
My mind was shifting gears from “find food“to what to do or watch after dinner. The block was definitely quieter than Elmwood, great for thinking. It was also much darker. I looked up the block and there was a lady walking her 2 dogs and they were awfully large. I was a half block away but they looked like full grown huskies to me. She was walking ahead of them and they both stopped to check out a tree and a bush and I didn’t think she knew she was moving without them. She moved far enough ahead of them that I realized even in the darkness from a good distance away that they were not on leashes. I thought about crossing the street. I love dogs but I’m not sure how I feel about big 50-60 pound ones when I strongly smell of fish and fries.
She didn’t have them on a leash so they were probably friendly, easy going dogs. I thought that until she turned around to see where her dogs were and realized she was about 20 feet past them. She started walking back to them in a leisurely manner until she saw me coming up the block and then she scurried over to the closest one to leash him up. I thought uh-oh. I started to slow my pace. I was only about 10 houses away. She leashed up the first one and while keeping it close to her she made her way to the other one. The leashed one saw me and wanted to say hello and she was struggling to hold him. I switched my bag of food from my left hand to my right hand which would be farther away when I passed them.
As I was only a few feet away it occurred to the woman that she was not going to get the 2nd dog locked down in time so she reached in there and grabbed a fistful of its collar to keep it from advancing. Luckily the only dog who wanted to greet me was the one on the leash that she was struggling to keep still with her left arm. I walked by quickly but calmly. I didn’t think they were dangerous or anything like that but I suspected they would have jumped up on me or something based on her reaction. That wouldn’t even be a bad thing normally but these were very big dogs and I had food I didn’t want to share.
As I was about 10 feet past them I heard her making all kinds of sounds and excited noises. I think now they were both trying to meet me. Maybe they caught a whiff of my food after I passed them. I wanted to turn around and get a visual on what was going on but my tummy began speaking to me again. It said; “don’t look back”. After a few more seconds I could no longer hear the woman behind me. I was walking very briskly and I had opened up enough distance that I believe the dogs didn’t care any longer. Again I thought about taking a look over my shoulder where I could picture this poor woman crouched into a retraining stance trying to keep at least 100 pounds of dog from being rambunctious but again my tummy advised me not to look back. The shrimp encounters of the dog kind were over.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
completED
caught between two worlds
the gravitational pull of passions
there's no indecision
everything is done on purpose
retreating from time to time
I am what I am
discouraged by the environment
hopeful for no reason
Lost on a familiar path
somewhere between compete and critique
between a snicker and a slap
I've scored too many points to be pointless
I sweat for a few smiles
It’s what I’ve always known
I find joy in what I create
It’s what I’ve had to learn
Consistent surprises
Whether it’s my hands or my feet
Lowered expectations
Or maybe just an afterthought
Tell me I love too much
I reply why don’t you?
It’s hard being everything to everyone
But it’s easy being me
the gravitational pull of passions
there's no indecision
everything is done on purpose
retreating from time to time
I am what I am
discouraged by the environment
hopeful for no reason
Lost on a familiar path
somewhere between compete and critique
between a snicker and a slap
I've scored too many points to be pointless
I sweat for a few smiles
It’s what I’ve always known
I find joy in what I create
It’s what I’ve had to learn
Consistent surprises
Whether it’s my hands or my feet
Lowered expectations
Or maybe just an afterthought
Tell me I love too much
I reply why don’t you?
It’s hard being everything to everyone
But it’s easy being me
Thursday, October 7, 2010
"Luna and Tito" 10-7-10
I stayed at the pizza place with my buddies until the very end of the game. It was painful to watch the team I love look so incredibly bad for the 4th straight week but on the bright side, it was fun sharing some food and laughs with a couple of friends on such a dreary afternoon. Some people talk about loyalty to a fault and with the Buffalo Bills, it certainly feels that way, especially this season.
I left the pizza place and made my way as quick as possible to work. My hours were a little short for the week and thankfully I can come and go as I please which includes the weekends but unfortunately this is flawed as I can only work when the store is open and on Sundays we close at 6pm. I made it there just after four and I was looking to work about two hours so it was going to be close enough.
I sat down at my computer and booted up. I made sure I had whatever I needed for the short time I’d be there and I started to get going but there was something. It was like a chirping type of sound. The first thing I thought was is there a bird in the building? Under normal circumstances when everyone is around, I just throw on some headphones and get to work. One of my co-workers acts like he runs the place and always plays classic rock radio on the laptop he uses. Since everyone else there uses headphones but him I mentioned it a few times and he’d turn it down for a bit but we are less than 20 feet away from each other. He could keep it low and I’d still have to listen to Aerosmith, Bon Jovi and Van Halen all day. Now I like classic rock. I certainly don’t mind listening to it once in a while but I’m a music person. I can’t listen to that stuff EVERY day. I need variety and different styles and genres. I mean for Christ sake this is a record store! Can you imagine if out in the main store we had classic rock blasting all day long? Record stores are supposed to look and sound cool. Now I’m not sure if our store does either that well but at least we don’t pump classic rock or what passes for it over the store speakers.
Because of this, when I’m at work during regular days I have headphones on almost 100% of the time and I am difficult to reach. Thankfully I work on big projects and after many years with the company I know my job pretty cold so I don’t need to be reached most of the time. The volume of my music is directly linked to how loud the Bob Seger is. If he doesn’t get it, I’m not going to waste my breath explaining it to him when I have nice headphones and tons of sweet music on my work computer.
Today was different. No one was in the back but me. There was no need to block out the other people. There was no need to enhance my mood with music. I could hear the music from the store pretty well and I was okay with what they were playing. That’s how I heard the chirping sound. It was faint but remarkable nonetheless. I wondered if there was some bird or bat in the building. I put on some gloves and headed to where I thought the noise was coming from.
The first thing I saw was some mild flooding in the back of the room. With all the rain lately and our leaky roof I wasn’t surprised. Did the water have something to do with it? I heard the sound a few more times but it was still relatively faint. I wandered around the area and while it was stronger than it was when I was at my desk, it still wasn’t quite loud enough to trace.
I went into the dark corridor behind our main room and started to move down into the depths of the building. There it was again! This time is was louder. It sounded like a baby bird. I walked further and could see that the floor back here was also a little flooded to about a half inch. Right as I made my way past the breaker boxes and towards the edge of the puddle the chirping sounds came through again, this time as loud as it could. Whatever it was it was definitely a baby something and it was definitely on the outside of the building against the back wall.
I walked all the way up to the front of the building where our actual record store is and asked the manager guy how I can access the back of the building. He told me to go around the building in one direction and I’d find it. As I went outside I noticed it was raining again and I thought about how much it had been raining and that made me worry about this thing even more.
When I went around the building I was greeted by a 25 foot fence blocking me from getting to the back of the building. While at the fence I stopped and stood still, listening to find out if I could hear it. There it was… another cry out by this poor animal. I started to go back around the other way and after a few minute walk in the pouring rain around this large building I found a path that led me where I wished to go. I walked to where I thought it would be but there was a big problem. There was another large fence, actually a double fence only 2 feet away from the back wall of the building. It was a chain link fence and with all the trees, bushes and brush combined with the rain there was no way anyone was climbing over this thing. It seemed kind of flimsy to boot as if this fence had been there for decades. I put my hands against it and tested it. It was old and flimsy looking for sure but sturdy enough to withstand any pushing or force. I just wouldn’t want to be caught on top of it.
I heard a few more yelps and I pinpointed the spot where I thought it came from. It was a huge window, maybe 8 feet wide and possibly that tall too. The glass that remained was yellowed and impossible to see through. All of the growth and plant life on the ground rose up a few feet concealing it at its base. That’s where the animal was. The window was broken just above ground level and less than 8 inches from the outer edge of the window it was boarded heavily from the inside creating a nice little pocket that was pretty much protected from the elements and seemed like the perfect place to have a nest. Since the crying seemed to stop and the rain was pouring like crazy I began to worry a little less. It had to be a baby bird. There was no way that other animals like mice, squirrels, cats, chipmunks or whatever else could have gotten into such a secluded little spot. A bird must fly in and out of there. It seemed like the most logical choice. I went back inside of my work and for the remainder of the time I was there I didn’t really hear much more crying.
The next day I came into work that morning and heard nothing. I asked other people if they had heard it and no one had or cared but one guy whose work station was close to the back of the building said he heard it that morning. He said it was a bird. I didn’t ask him for evidence on how he came to that conclusion. He’s a bit of a weirdo so I simply figured he was an avid bird watcher or knew some other way because he seemed awful sure. I threw on my headphones and worked without too much concern. I also left early that day because I had kickball and some errands to run although kickball was later cancelled due to rain. I didn’t and couldn’t hear anything more that day.
When I came in on Tuesday morning I could hear the cries once again. It seemed different that morning but no one else said anything about it and with classic rock boy pumping the Tesla, I had to get my headphones on. By lunch time my curiosity was starting to get the better of me. I went to lunch thinking I’d take another look when I got back to the building.
Upon returning after a relaxing and tasty lunch I started talking to the guy who heard it the day before and I mentioned how I thought we should do something so we went to the back and I showed him the spot where the sound was coming from. It was a cloudy day but it wasn’t raining at that moment so there wouldn’t be any competing sounds from nature like raindrops on the leaves and bushes. We would be able to hear the birdie just fine but a strange thing happened when we walked to the double fence right in front of the old window. Whatever was in there sensed the presence of somebody and started to cry out. It was a soft but urgent meow. It was the kind that came from a kitten. My mouth just dropped. I said; “That’s no bird!” Then about a foot to the right of the first meow came another, softer meow. “Holy crap, there’s two kittens in there!”
When I thought it was a bird I was preparing to let nature do what it does. The mama bird could fly in and out of this hard to reach spot and bring food to her babies. But now that it was a pair of kittens, I didn’t know what to do. There was no sign of a mama cat and all I kept asking myself was how in the hell did they get in there?!?
Based on the 15 foot double fence, and the very narrow space between and the building filled with small trees, bushes and who knows what else it simply was not possible for someone to have “put” them there. What must have happened was a mama cat, maybe a stray or street cat must have found that little nest spot, out of sight and away from the rain to give birth. The problem was; where was she? More than that, how could we get them out? With the drop from ground level through that broken window and down about 1-2 feet to the interior window sill that we couldn’t even see, there was no way the little kitties could climb out.
I start thinking out loud while my co-worker starts to pace a little. He was so sure it was a bird that he almost convinced me. I start blurting out things we know, “okay well they’ve been here for at least 3 days now” The other guy looks a little bit concerned, he seems to care a little. He corrects me; “Actually I heard them most of last week.” No wait he doesn’t really care at all. I scream; “You’ve heard them for a week!?!”
With that news my concern magnified. They’ve been out there cold, hungry and crying for a week! They are lucky to be alive. I’m not liking my co-worker much at this time but what’s done is done… the time is now and it is of the essence. I blurt out “We have to do something”. My co-worker agrees as I think my concern rubbed out some of his indifference. We look at the fence and the surrounding area trying to find a way in. As we are looking around it starts to rain again. After a few minutes we conclude the only way to get to them is if we were able to cut through the fence. Unfortunately there’s no way we can do that so we go back inside to see about reaching them from in there.
As we find the spot where they are crying from we realize that this isn’t good either. The other side of the window was boarded up so long ago and there are layers and layers of solid wood blocking us from reaching them. To make matters worse, the breaker boxes and many electrical wires are basically right in the spot where we’d have to get through. It didn’t look promising but we still had to try.
We looked around for tools and all we really had was a hammer and a screwdriver. We tried to take apart the boards that were placed in front of that old window. They were hammered in with what seemed like a thousand nails. We got up on a small step ladder and we were pulling them out one by one to see if could remove the board or at least open it up enough to grab the kitties. The kittens could sense someone was near again and their cries became more passionate and frequent. As I tried to pull a nail from the wall, I was standing on the very top of the step ladder since this one was very high and their cries had my eyes tearing up as I pulled as hard as I could. My balance on the ladder was iffy at best and I thought about retreating but the cries were incredibly motivating. Those little kittens had so much courage so why couldn’t I?
After getting out many nails we discovered that the board would only move so much and then there was another, thicker board underneath that! Plus the electrical wiring and breaker boxes were really starting to come into play. It was obvious that we could not, with the tools we had; get through to the other side. It was obvious from the very beginning I guess but we still spent 20-25 minutes trying. Surely it was my stubbornness but I felt compelled to try even though the odds were terrible.
When we walked back into the main work area I thought the next best thing to do was to call the SPCA and animal control. I was hoping that they could do something to save these kittens. My boss wasn’t too thrilled we were using valuable work time to try to save these kittens. She said, if they’ve been there a week already it’s too late for them, plus they’d probably want us to pay for all the help they’d need. Wow. Money was the last thing on my mind at a time like this. She wasn’t happy that we or especially I was spending so much time trying to save them but she understood I couldn’t be deterred. I grabbed my cell phone and began calling around for help.
The SPCA animal rescue and the animal control place I called both told me the same thing, there were property issues since these kittens were trapped and the property would have to be altered to save them. They would not do anything that would open them up to a lawsuit. Plus, neither had the tools needed to free them. The consensus was that it was very bad luck this occurred and they really wished they could do something. They wanted me to call them back if I could free them and they’d be happy to pick them up and do what they could for them.
I was back to where I was and I didn’t know what to do. It was nearing 5pm and everyone at work was getting ready to go home with an “oh well” attitude. Our store was actually open to 8pm and at that moment I decided I would stay as long as possible to do something to help them. I walked to the back of the building where the spot they could be heard best was. I asked them to hold on and I told them I was going to keep trying. Their cries were getting weaker and sounded even more desperate to me if they could. Maybe it was my own desperation playing a role in that.
I walked all over the building looking for anything I could find and then I tried it on the wood. I went back outside in the rain and looked again at where they were hoping to find a way in. There was no way in… not unless you were a rodent or a cat yourself. I went back into the building and by now it was after 5 and everyone had left for the day. Despite that I ran into someone else who works in the building who hadn’t heard about the kittens yet. I told him and he went with me to the back of the building so he could see or hear for himself. There was no sound. I mentioned to him that sometimes they get quiet but once they know someone is around they’ll starting meowing like crazy. I tapped the wood. Again there was nothing. I tapped it harder and repeatedly but to no avail. The kittens went quiet. This man and I looked at each other. We knew what that meant without saying it.
I suppose this type of thing happens everywhere all the time. It happens in every city, town, country and neighborhood. Just because it does and I know it happens even more than I can imagine it doesn’t make it any easier to take when it happens and I bear witness to it. I did stay at work until close that night and I did keep trying to get to them pounding the fence and trying to break through it. I tried to get them to respond but this one was bigger than me. I learned a lesson that night that sometimes despite our own best efforts, you can’t save everyone. It’s not a pleasant lesson.
At the end of the day I went back to the spot outside where you were only a few feet away from them. I was never able to see them but their cries will live forever in my mind. I was standing where only a few hours before these two brave little kittens cried out for help that would never come. I felt a measure of guilt that I couldn’t get them out. I felt guilt for not noticing them sooner than I did. I felt anger at the people at work who were indifferent to their plight. I also felt disbelief. I still wondered how in the hell they got there. They had no use for a name but before I went home I named them Luna and Tito. It made me smile and quite frankly I could have used one at that moment. Then after a few quiet minutes I said: “Goodbye Luna, goodbye Tito.” and I left to go home.
I kept wiping away tears on my way back because I couldn’t stop the emotions from flowing uncontrollably. There was nothing more I could do than come home to a cold empty apartment, flip on the television, wait for tomorrow and hope it’s better. Unlike Luna and Tito, at least I get a tomorrow.
I left the pizza place and made my way as quick as possible to work. My hours were a little short for the week and thankfully I can come and go as I please which includes the weekends but unfortunately this is flawed as I can only work when the store is open and on Sundays we close at 6pm. I made it there just after four and I was looking to work about two hours so it was going to be close enough.
I sat down at my computer and booted up. I made sure I had whatever I needed for the short time I’d be there and I started to get going but there was something. It was like a chirping type of sound. The first thing I thought was is there a bird in the building? Under normal circumstances when everyone is around, I just throw on some headphones and get to work. One of my co-workers acts like he runs the place and always plays classic rock radio on the laptop he uses. Since everyone else there uses headphones but him I mentioned it a few times and he’d turn it down for a bit but we are less than 20 feet away from each other. He could keep it low and I’d still have to listen to Aerosmith, Bon Jovi and Van Halen all day. Now I like classic rock. I certainly don’t mind listening to it once in a while but I’m a music person. I can’t listen to that stuff EVERY day. I need variety and different styles and genres. I mean for Christ sake this is a record store! Can you imagine if out in the main store we had classic rock blasting all day long? Record stores are supposed to look and sound cool. Now I’m not sure if our store does either that well but at least we don’t pump classic rock or what passes for it over the store speakers.
Because of this, when I’m at work during regular days I have headphones on almost 100% of the time and I am difficult to reach. Thankfully I work on big projects and after many years with the company I know my job pretty cold so I don’t need to be reached most of the time. The volume of my music is directly linked to how loud the Bob Seger is. If he doesn’t get it, I’m not going to waste my breath explaining it to him when I have nice headphones and tons of sweet music on my work computer.
Today was different. No one was in the back but me. There was no need to block out the other people. There was no need to enhance my mood with music. I could hear the music from the store pretty well and I was okay with what they were playing. That’s how I heard the chirping sound. It was faint but remarkable nonetheless. I wondered if there was some bird or bat in the building. I put on some gloves and headed to where I thought the noise was coming from.
The first thing I saw was some mild flooding in the back of the room. With all the rain lately and our leaky roof I wasn’t surprised. Did the water have something to do with it? I heard the sound a few more times but it was still relatively faint. I wandered around the area and while it was stronger than it was when I was at my desk, it still wasn’t quite loud enough to trace.
I went into the dark corridor behind our main room and started to move down into the depths of the building. There it was again! This time is was louder. It sounded like a baby bird. I walked further and could see that the floor back here was also a little flooded to about a half inch. Right as I made my way past the breaker boxes and towards the edge of the puddle the chirping sounds came through again, this time as loud as it could. Whatever it was it was definitely a baby something and it was definitely on the outside of the building against the back wall.
I walked all the way up to the front of the building where our actual record store is and asked the manager guy how I can access the back of the building. He told me to go around the building in one direction and I’d find it. As I went outside I noticed it was raining again and I thought about how much it had been raining and that made me worry about this thing even more.
When I went around the building I was greeted by a 25 foot fence blocking me from getting to the back of the building. While at the fence I stopped and stood still, listening to find out if I could hear it. There it was… another cry out by this poor animal. I started to go back around the other way and after a few minute walk in the pouring rain around this large building I found a path that led me where I wished to go. I walked to where I thought it would be but there was a big problem. There was another large fence, actually a double fence only 2 feet away from the back wall of the building. It was a chain link fence and with all the trees, bushes and brush combined with the rain there was no way anyone was climbing over this thing. It seemed kind of flimsy to boot as if this fence had been there for decades. I put my hands against it and tested it. It was old and flimsy looking for sure but sturdy enough to withstand any pushing or force. I just wouldn’t want to be caught on top of it.
I heard a few more yelps and I pinpointed the spot where I thought it came from. It was a huge window, maybe 8 feet wide and possibly that tall too. The glass that remained was yellowed and impossible to see through. All of the growth and plant life on the ground rose up a few feet concealing it at its base. That’s where the animal was. The window was broken just above ground level and less than 8 inches from the outer edge of the window it was boarded heavily from the inside creating a nice little pocket that was pretty much protected from the elements and seemed like the perfect place to have a nest. Since the crying seemed to stop and the rain was pouring like crazy I began to worry a little less. It had to be a baby bird. There was no way that other animals like mice, squirrels, cats, chipmunks or whatever else could have gotten into such a secluded little spot. A bird must fly in and out of there. It seemed like the most logical choice. I went back inside of my work and for the remainder of the time I was there I didn’t really hear much more crying.
The next day I came into work that morning and heard nothing. I asked other people if they had heard it and no one had or cared but one guy whose work station was close to the back of the building said he heard it that morning. He said it was a bird. I didn’t ask him for evidence on how he came to that conclusion. He’s a bit of a weirdo so I simply figured he was an avid bird watcher or knew some other way because he seemed awful sure. I threw on my headphones and worked without too much concern. I also left early that day because I had kickball and some errands to run although kickball was later cancelled due to rain. I didn’t and couldn’t hear anything more that day.
When I came in on Tuesday morning I could hear the cries once again. It seemed different that morning but no one else said anything about it and with classic rock boy pumping the Tesla, I had to get my headphones on. By lunch time my curiosity was starting to get the better of me. I went to lunch thinking I’d take another look when I got back to the building.
Upon returning after a relaxing and tasty lunch I started talking to the guy who heard it the day before and I mentioned how I thought we should do something so we went to the back and I showed him the spot where the sound was coming from. It was a cloudy day but it wasn’t raining at that moment so there wouldn’t be any competing sounds from nature like raindrops on the leaves and bushes. We would be able to hear the birdie just fine but a strange thing happened when we walked to the double fence right in front of the old window. Whatever was in there sensed the presence of somebody and started to cry out. It was a soft but urgent meow. It was the kind that came from a kitten. My mouth just dropped. I said; “That’s no bird!” Then about a foot to the right of the first meow came another, softer meow. “Holy crap, there’s two kittens in there!”
When I thought it was a bird I was preparing to let nature do what it does. The mama bird could fly in and out of this hard to reach spot and bring food to her babies. But now that it was a pair of kittens, I didn’t know what to do. There was no sign of a mama cat and all I kept asking myself was how in the hell did they get in there?!?
Based on the 15 foot double fence, and the very narrow space between and the building filled with small trees, bushes and who knows what else it simply was not possible for someone to have “put” them there. What must have happened was a mama cat, maybe a stray or street cat must have found that little nest spot, out of sight and away from the rain to give birth. The problem was; where was she? More than that, how could we get them out? With the drop from ground level through that broken window and down about 1-2 feet to the interior window sill that we couldn’t even see, there was no way the little kitties could climb out.
I start thinking out loud while my co-worker starts to pace a little. He was so sure it was a bird that he almost convinced me. I start blurting out things we know, “okay well they’ve been here for at least 3 days now” The other guy looks a little bit concerned, he seems to care a little. He corrects me; “Actually I heard them most of last week.” No wait he doesn’t really care at all. I scream; “You’ve heard them for a week!?!”
With that news my concern magnified. They’ve been out there cold, hungry and crying for a week! They are lucky to be alive. I’m not liking my co-worker much at this time but what’s done is done… the time is now and it is of the essence. I blurt out “We have to do something”. My co-worker agrees as I think my concern rubbed out some of his indifference. We look at the fence and the surrounding area trying to find a way in. As we are looking around it starts to rain again. After a few minutes we conclude the only way to get to them is if we were able to cut through the fence. Unfortunately there’s no way we can do that so we go back inside to see about reaching them from in there.
As we find the spot where they are crying from we realize that this isn’t good either. The other side of the window was boarded up so long ago and there are layers and layers of solid wood blocking us from reaching them. To make matters worse, the breaker boxes and many electrical wires are basically right in the spot where we’d have to get through. It didn’t look promising but we still had to try.
We looked around for tools and all we really had was a hammer and a screwdriver. We tried to take apart the boards that were placed in front of that old window. They were hammered in with what seemed like a thousand nails. We got up on a small step ladder and we were pulling them out one by one to see if could remove the board or at least open it up enough to grab the kitties. The kittens could sense someone was near again and their cries became more passionate and frequent. As I tried to pull a nail from the wall, I was standing on the very top of the step ladder since this one was very high and their cries had my eyes tearing up as I pulled as hard as I could. My balance on the ladder was iffy at best and I thought about retreating but the cries were incredibly motivating. Those little kittens had so much courage so why couldn’t I?
After getting out many nails we discovered that the board would only move so much and then there was another, thicker board underneath that! Plus the electrical wiring and breaker boxes were really starting to come into play. It was obvious that we could not, with the tools we had; get through to the other side. It was obvious from the very beginning I guess but we still spent 20-25 minutes trying. Surely it was my stubbornness but I felt compelled to try even though the odds were terrible.
When we walked back into the main work area I thought the next best thing to do was to call the SPCA and animal control. I was hoping that they could do something to save these kittens. My boss wasn’t too thrilled we were using valuable work time to try to save these kittens. She said, if they’ve been there a week already it’s too late for them, plus they’d probably want us to pay for all the help they’d need. Wow. Money was the last thing on my mind at a time like this. She wasn’t happy that we or especially I was spending so much time trying to save them but she understood I couldn’t be deterred. I grabbed my cell phone and began calling around for help.
The SPCA animal rescue and the animal control place I called both told me the same thing, there were property issues since these kittens were trapped and the property would have to be altered to save them. They would not do anything that would open them up to a lawsuit. Plus, neither had the tools needed to free them. The consensus was that it was very bad luck this occurred and they really wished they could do something. They wanted me to call them back if I could free them and they’d be happy to pick them up and do what they could for them.
I was back to where I was and I didn’t know what to do. It was nearing 5pm and everyone at work was getting ready to go home with an “oh well” attitude. Our store was actually open to 8pm and at that moment I decided I would stay as long as possible to do something to help them. I walked to the back of the building where the spot they could be heard best was. I asked them to hold on and I told them I was going to keep trying. Their cries were getting weaker and sounded even more desperate to me if they could. Maybe it was my own desperation playing a role in that.
I walked all over the building looking for anything I could find and then I tried it on the wood. I went back outside in the rain and looked again at where they were hoping to find a way in. There was no way in… not unless you were a rodent or a cat yourself. I went back into the building and by now it was after 5 and everyone had left for the day. Despite that I ran into someone else who works in the building who hadn’t heard about the kittens yet. I told him and he went with me to the back of the building so he could see or hear for himself. There was no sound. I mentioned to him that sometimes they get quiet but once they know someone is around they’ll starting meowing like crazy. I tapped the wood. Again there was nothing. I tapped it harder and repeatedly but to no avail. The kittens went quiet. This man and I looked at each other. We knew what that meant without saying it.
I suppose this type of thing happens everywhere all the time. It happens in every city, town, country and neighborhood. Just because it does and I know it happens even more than I can imagine it doesn’t make it any easier to take when it happens and I bear witness to it. I did stay at work until close that night and I did keep trying to get to them pounding the fence and trying to break through it. I tried to get them to respond but this one was bigger than me. I learned a lesson that night that sometimes despite our own best efforts, you can’t save everyone. It’s not a pleasant lesson.
At the end of the day I went back to the spot outside where you were only a few feet away from them. I was never able to see them but their cries will live forever in my mind. I was standing where only a few hours before these two brave little kittens cried out for help that would never come. I felt a measure of guilt that I couldn’t get them out. I felt guilt for not noticing them sooner than I did. I felt anger at the people at work who were indifferent to their plight. I also felt disbelief. I still wondered how in the hell they got there. They had no use for a name but before I went home I named them Luna and Tito. It made me smile and quite frankly I could have used one at that moment. Then after a few quiet minutes I said: “Goodbye Luna, goodbye Tito.” and I left to go home.
I kept wiping away tears on my way back because I couldn’t stop the emotions from flowing uncontrollably. There was nothing more I could do than come home to a cold empty apartment, flip on the television, wait for tomorrow and hope it’s better. Unlike Luna and Tito, at least I get a tomorrow.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
100 Blogs: (#71) "Fin"
I’m wrapping up my blog project 29 entries short. Since it’s a project I created, I can do what I want and while ideally I would have liked to have finished it, especially when I think about how I felt about it 2 months ago, I just don’t care about it any longer. Rather than mail it in for the next 29 entries I thought it’s best to end it.
I’m going through a rough period and while you’d think it was an ideal time to write, I’m feeling very distant from everything and I want to withdraw and keep many things to myself. Plus I realize my emotional state lately is up and down. When I go through a low I don’t want to do things to make me miserable and forcing me to write when I feel like garbage probably wouldn’t help.
With my parent’s birthdays a few days ago, a lot of emotion was stirred up inside me and I feel so lonely, so hopeless and invisible. I feel like I matter to no one. I feel like no one cares. I feel like I could disappear and nothing would change. I know that isn’t true, but sometimes I get this way. I begin to feel alone and isolated and I hide from everyone but my closest friends for a bit and I think about life until I get a sign. It never lasts and something always snaps me out of it because I love life and too many little things out there to not re-engage but for now I feel down. It was a good run. I’ve been pretty happy for most of this year and I made it a long way on this blog project. I have no regrets.
My blogs will go back to being periodical or when I have something to say. For now I don’t want to say anything or talk to anyone. I want to thank everyone who read the blogs and those who commented on this site or the other. It really means a lot to me. I hope some of my thoughts and ideas were entertaining. I learned a lot from the writing project and who knows, maybe one day I’ll try it again.
I’m going through a rough period and while you’d think it was an ideal time to write, I’m feeling very distant from everything and I want to withdraw and keep many things to myself. Plus I realize my emotional state lately is up and down. When I go through a low I don’t want to do things to make me miserable and forcing me to write when I feel like garbage probably wouldn’t help.
With my parent’s birthdays a few days ago, a lot of emotion was stirred up inside me and I feel so lonely, so hopeless and invisible. I feel like I matter to no one. I feel like no one cares. I feel like I could disappear and nothing would change. I know that isn’t true, but sometimes I get this way. I begin to feel alone and isolated and I hide from everyone but my closest friends for a bit and I think about life until I get a sign. It never lasts and something always snaps me out of it because I love life and too many little things out there to not re-engage but for now I feel down. It was a good run. I’ve been pretty happy for most of this year and I made it a long way on this blog project. I have no regrets.
My blogs will go back to being periodical or when I have something to say. For now I don’t want to say anything or talk to anyone. I want to thank everyone who read the blogs and those who commented on this site or the other. It really means a lot to me. I hope some of my thoughts and ideas were entertaining. I learned a lot from the writing project and who knows, maybe one day I’ll try it again.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
100 Blogs in 100 Days: (# 70) - "Happy Birthday Dad"
Today is my Dad’s birthday. He’s been gone almost 15 years but if he were still around he’d be 85 today… and probably having a beer or two watching the Yankees game. I miss him for all the reasons you are supposed to miss people you care about but I miss him most of all because I wish I knew him better. 21+ years wasn’t enough time, especially since I was a late bloomer and I was so naïve and unsure of so many things at 21 it wasn’t funny. I’d give almost anything to have a conversation with him now when I’d know what to ask and how to appreciate and understand the answers.
I’m like my dad in a lot of ways. I am a bit mysterious and withdrawn. So many times I wondered what he was thinking but was afraid to ask. I’m internal and passionate like he was but I also have my mom in me. My mom would just talk and talk and talk. She’d say whatever was on her mind and I’m sure I wouldn’t be a blogger if not for her even though she has no idea what a blog is. For all the intellect, passion, awareness, calm and quietness my father gave me I also received an equal doze of silliness, openness, joy, nerves and generosity from my mom. Sometimes it’s hard to balance the two.
This past year I had the pleasure of going to a few family gatherings. Sometimes they weren’t for the best reasons but I always took something wonderful from them. Whether it was catching up, sharing some laughs and warmth, or feeling a little less lonely there was so much to like. But one of my favorite things was when I’d learn something about dad. It’s amazing to me to have lived with the man for 21+ years and not know him as well as I’d like. I was young and wrapped up in whatever young guys worry about. I was off in my own world most of the time and was never really interested in history lessons or stories about the good old days. I hope he didn’t think I wasn’t interested in who I was or where I came from. I was just young and foolish just like he was once upon a time.
Obviously I’ll always remember him and every year on this day I will think long and hard about him remembering the little things and those times he’d let me in. While there may be some regrets in hindsight, I can honestly say that I loved him very much and I know he loved me and even though we didn’t always say it, we both knew. Happy Birthday Dad!
I’m like my dad in a lot of ways. I am a bit mysterious and withdrawn. So many times I wondered what he was thinking but was afraid to ask. I’m internal and passionate like he was but I also have my mom in me. My mom would just talk and talk and talk. She’d say whatever was on her mind and I’m sure I wouldn’t be a blogger if not for her even though she has no idea what a blog is. For all the intellect, passion, awareness, calm and quietness my father gave me I also received an equal doze of silliness, openness, joy, nerves and generosity from my mom. Sometimes it’s hard to balance the two.
This past year I had the pleasure of going to a few family gatherings. Sometimes they weren’t for the best reasons but I always took something wonderful from them. Whether it was catching up, sharing some laughs and warmth, or feeling a little less lonely there was so much to like. But one of my favorite things was when I’d learn something about dad. It’s amazing to me to have lived with the man for 21+ years and not know him as well as I’d like. I was young and wrapped up in whatever young guys worry about. I was off in my own world most of the time and was never really interested in history lessons or stories about the good old days. I hope he didn’t think I wasn’t interested in who I was or where I came from. I was just young and foolish just like he was once upon a time.
Obviously I’ll always remember him and every year on this day I will think long and hard about him remembering the little things and those times he’d let me in. While there may be some regrets in hindsight, I can honestly say that I loved him very much and I know he loved me and even though we didn’t always say it, we both knew. Happy Birthday Dad!
100 Blogs in 100 Days: (# 69) - "Changes"
I’ve been feeling different lately. I think it’s because things are changing around me and as a result, inside of me. I believe the change of seasons has something to do with it. I find that I go through 2 big changes in the course of a year. It’s those 2 times when I have to adjust to a changing environment. The first occurs in the spring when I become a phoenix and feel reborn. I feel like I shed layers and open up to the world. The other is when fall begins, when I have to make so many adjustments and I feel like I pull back and withdraw a bit. I’ve often joked about hibernating some years. I am a product of my environment and also being sponge-like has me absorbing the changes around me. Maybe it’s the crunch of the leaves or the appearance of chestnuts at my feet.
The biggest change of many is a lifestyle change this time of year. Most of my recent activities were outdoor ones. There are all the sports, festivals, concerts, events and patios I frequented in recent weeks that are already over or going to be over very soon. The upcoming journeys outside will consist of going from inside to inside. I go from inside my apartment to inside another location. Outside becomes a means to an end and no longer an open ended destination of its own. What will happen is I’m reducing my time spent outside from maybe 50% of my free time to 10% or less. That’s a big adjustment. Plus I have to trade the freedom and playfulness of shorts and t-shirts for the restrictiveness and cover of pants and jackets. Is that a clear enough metaphor for you on how I feel about the seasonal change? While I do miss wearing certain articles of clothing I haven’t been able to wear for almost half a year, I also like having a choice. That is why I will like these next few weeks a lot. One day it will be 65-70 and the next 45-50. I can mix it up clothing wise and I do like that.
There is definitely a natural trade off of beauty between the seasons. The beauty of swaying trees and cute females in less clothing is replaced by colors abound and cute females in cute little hats and outfits. Between nature and women there are surely many subtle and not so subtle layers of beauty that will change or happen during this seasonal shift. Maybe it’s just a human’s natural aversion to changes. We like comfort and stability. Even the most adventurous of us like to be able to count on a few things. It can’t all be different and it’s not but for me there’s this feeling of constriction coming.
Throughout my life I often feel like a loner even in the midst of good friends and caring family. There are times I feel like no one really cares about me even though deep down I know it’s not true. There are also times where I feel like no one gets me, and deep down I know that is true. It’s a product of being a different sort of guy. As someone who has no deep connection to anyone it can be hard for me during this time to not feel isolated and withdrawn. With the conclusion of many of my summertime activities and habits, so goes the company of many summertime friends who I will see less and less this time of year. My sports friends aren’t always my arts friends and vice versa. By the time winter hits I’ll probably be feeling like Mr. Lonely again.
Instead of repeating that vicious cycle of change I’m thinking maybe I should either take proactive measures or make my own changes to avoid the repetition of another perceived down season. I feel like trying something new, like maybe getting involved in a whole new hobby or activity. I dunno, but I need something to keep the joy and momentum of the spring and summer going despite the changes around me. I don’t want to take a break from loving life. It’s been too much fun.
The biggest change of many is a lifestyle change this time of year. Most of my recent activities were outdoor ones. There are all the sports, festivals, concerts, events and patios I frequented in recent weeks that are already over or going to be over very soon. The upcoming journeys outside will consist of going from inside to inside. I go from inside my apartment to inside another location. Outside becomes a means to an end and no longer an open ended destination of its own. What will happen is I’m reducing my time spent outside from maybe 50% of my free time to 10% or less. That’s a big adjustment. Plus I have to trade the freedom and playfulness of shorts and t-shirts for the restrictiveness and cover of pants and jackets. Is that a clear enough metaphor for you on how I feel about the seasonal change? While I do miss wearing certain articles of clothing I haven’t been able to wear for almost half a year, I also like having a choice. That is why I will like these next few weeks a lot. One day it will be 65-70 and the next 45-50. I can mix it up clothing wise and I do like that.
There is definitely a natural trade off of beauty between the seasons. The beauty of swaying trees and cute females in less clothing is replaced by colors abound and cute females in cute little hats and outfits. Between nature and women there are surely many subtle and not so subtle layers of beauty that will change or happen during this seasonal shift. Maybe it’s just a human’s natural aversion to changes. We like comfort and stability. Even the most adventurous of us like to be able to count on a few things. It can’t all be different and it’s not but for me there’s this feeling of constriction coming.
Throughout my life I often feel like a loner even in the midst of good friends and caring family. There are times I feel like no one really cares about me even though deep down I know it’s not true. There are also times where I feel like no one gets me, and deep down I know that is true. It’s a product of being a different sort of guy. As someone who has no deep connection to anyone it can be hard for me during this time to not feel isolated and withdrawn. With the conclusion of many of my summertime activities and habits, so goes the company of many summertime friends who I will see less and less this time of year. My sports friends aren’t always my arts friends and vice versa. By the time winter hits I’ll probably be feeling like Mr. Lonely again.
Instead of repeating that vicious cycle of change I’m thinking maybe I should either take proactive measures or make my own changes to avoid the repetition of another perceived down season. I feel like trying something new, like maybe getting involved in a whole new hobby or activity. I dunno, but I need something to keep the joy and momentum of the spring and summer going despite the changes around me. I don’t want to take a break from loving life. It’s been too much fun.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
100 Blogs in 100 Days: (#68) - "Movies, Movies, Movies!"
Movie Madness
As the temperatures get cooler my thoughts drift from playing in the sunshine to fun indoors. One of my favorite indoor activities is watching movies and while I found the summer movie bonanza a little disappointing I can’t wait for all the movie fun this fall! Between festivals, movie series and some very nice looking new releases I think it’s going to be a great fall into film.
I know I mention it a lot but the UB Film Seminar is running through early December. So far I’ve seen a great Buster Keaton film and 2 of the greatest films of all time in North By Northwest and The Maltese Falcon. Next week is Federico Fellini’s classic 8½ which I hear is fantastic. The shows run at 7pm on Tuesdays at the Market Arcade theater and is open to the public, even the question and answer period after the film! They have their entire schedule for this semester online at www.buffalofilmseminars.com
Starting on Friday is the Buffalo International Film Festival. It’s going on for 10 days and they are showing movies at the Market Arcade, the HD Video Café, the North Park, and one of my favorite places, the Screening Room! They have a schedule online but already I am fretting because they have a showing of Evil Dead 1 at the North Park on Saturday 10/9 right when I have 2 football games in a row! Oh well, I’m sure there will be plenty to cool things to see!
What’s better than checking out films you don’t know anything about? Why it’s seeing films you have a really good feeling about! All summer I might have had good vibes about a couple of films but I am very excited about many upcoming films this fall. It starts with a couple of James Franco films: 127 Hours and Howl. The first is a biopic about a mountain climber who had to go to extreme measures to save his own life. Howl is a film about the famous Ginsberg poem and the obscenity trial it generated. Then there is Hereafter, a film starring Matt Damon as one of 3 people dealing with near death experiences, It’s Kind of a Funny Story which is about a 16 year old sent to an adult psych clinic, “Faster” a revenge film starring The Rock and of course there is the film that shall be named… Harry Potter! That is one I’m really looking forward to and I believe it is coming out the week before Thanksgiving.
Yep I love me some movies!
As the temperatures get cooler my thoughts drift from playing in the sunshine to fun indoors. One of my favorite indoor activities is watching movies and while I found the summer movie bonanza a little disappointing I can’t wait for all the movie fun this fall! Between festivals, movie series and some very nice looking new releases I think it’s going to be a great fall into film.
I know I mention it a lot but the UB Film Seminar is running through early December. So far I’ve seen a great Buster Keaton film and 2 of the greatest films of all time in North By Northwest and The Maltese Falcon. Next week is Federico Fellini’s classic 8½ which I hear is fantastic. The shows run at 7pm on Tuesdays at the Market Arcade theater and is open to the public, even the question and answer period after the film! They have their entire schedule for this semester online at www.buffalofilmseminars.com
Starting on Friday is the Buffalo International Film Festival. It’s going on for 10 days and they are showing movies at the Market Arcade, the HD Video Café, the North Park, and one of my favorite places, the Screening Room! They have a schedule online but already I am fretting because they have a showing of Evil Dead 1 at the North Park on Saturday 10/9 right when I have 2 football games in a row! Oh well, I’m sure there will be plenty to cool things to see!
What’s better than checking out films you don’t know anything about? Why it’s seeing films you have a really good feeling about! All summer I might have had good vibes about a couple of films but I am very excited about many upcoming films this fall. It starts with a couple of James Franco films: 127 Hours and Howl. The first is a biopic about a mountain climber who had to go to extreme measures to save his own life. Howl is a film about the famous Ginsberg poem and the obscenity trial it generated. Then there is Hereafter, a film starring Matt Damon as one of 3 people dealing with near death experiences, It’s Kind of a Funny Story which is about a 16 year old sent to an adult psych clinic, “Faster” a revenge film starring The Rock and of course there is the film that shall be named… Harry Potter! That is one I’m really looking forward to and I believe it is coming out the week before Thanksgiving.
Yep I love me some movies!
Monday, September 27, 2010
100 Blogs in 100 Days: (#67) - "What's Going On"
This is just a little look at what’s happening with me lately:
I went to my 3rd straight Battle at Buffalo on Saturday night. I realize it’s not the kind of thing that’s for everybody but I highly recommend checking it out if you like hip hop, hip hop culture or you can appreciate the energy and joy of the people on the dance floor. If other cultures or subcultures intrigue you, you should come down! I know hip hop gets painted a certain way by many people but this environment is positive, vibrant and all about love. There are all different types of people in the place and I absolutely love when lots of people can come together for something positive like that. It’s like I always say, art brings people together and the artistry from the dancers in the battle is amazing and inspiring. The next one is Saturday night October 30th and I am there!
For those of you who enjoyed my Best of 2010 so far CD that I gave out in June, take heart! My Best of 2010 part 2 is on the way for Christmas and I have already compiled 10-12 tracks that I think are strong candidates to make the CD. I’m constantly seeking out music for it, tossing it into a folder on my computer and not counting the 10-12 tracks I really like, I have about 100 more tracks and counting to choose from so I’m hoping it will be as well received as the last few. Just in case you wondered, I’ve been making year end compilations since 2006 and then last year I started to make 2 a year, one for the midpoint and the other for the end of the year. I just can’t help myself and Crazy Eddie the college radio DJ will probably never go away.
I’m actually a few days away from going to visit my mom. Her birthday is Thursday and I thought it would be nice to visit her on it. I haven’t seen her in quite a bit but she’s being cared for and taken care of which you cannot know how comforting that is to me. I was incredibly stressed a few years back when she was having all of her problems. I was angry with myself for not being able to help her but it was out of my hands. When one’s mind starts to go, all the love and support in the world can’t fix it. It was a humbling learning experience as for once I couldn’t solve a problem in my family. I always could before and they always looked to me in times of crisis but now all that pressure is gone and I can go see my mom with a smile and no concern.
I’m going to end this one with a look towards tomorrow where you will get 2 blogs from me. The first is about films and the second is about changes. See you then.
I went to my 3rd straight Battle at Buffalo on Saturday night. I realize it’s not the kind of thing that’s for everybody but I highly recommend checking it out if you like hip hop, hip hop culture or you can appreciate the energy and joy of the people on the dance floor. If other cultures or subcultures intrigue you, you should come down! I know hip hop gets painted a certain way by many people but this environment is positive, vibrant and all about love. There are all different types of people in the place and I absolutely love when lots of people can come together for something positive like that. It’s like I always say, art brings people together and the artistry from the dancers in the battle is amazing and inspiring. The next one is Saturday night October 30th and I am there!
For those of you who enjoyed my Best of 2010 so far CD that I gave out in June, take heart! My Best of 2010 part 2 is on the way for Christmas and I have already compiled 10-12 tracks that I think are strong candidates to make the CD. I’m constantly seeking out music for it, tossing it into a folder on my computer and not counting the 10-12 tracks I really like, I have about 100 more tracks and counting to choose from so I’m hoping it will be as well received as the last few. Just in case you wondered, I’ve been making year end compilations since 2006 and then last year I started to make 2 a year, one for the midpoint and the other for the end of the year. I just can’t help myself and Crazy Eddie the college radio DJ will probably never go away.
I’m actually a few days away from going to visit my mom. Her birthday is Thursday and I thought it would be nice to visit her on it. I haven’t seen her in quite a bit but she’s being cared for and taken care of which you cannot know how comforting that is to me. I was incredibly stressed a few years back when she was having all of her problems. I was angry with myself for not being able to help her but it was out of my hands. When one’s mind starts to go, all the love and support in the world can’t fix it. It was a humbling learning experience as for once I couldn’t solve a problem in my family. I always could before and they always looked to me in times of crisis but now all that pressure is gone and I can go see my mom with a smile and no concern.
I’m going to end this one with a look towards tomorrow where you will get 2 blogs from me. The first is about films and the second is about changes. See you then.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
100 Blogs in 100 Days: (#66) - "Sore and Sore"
After I finished my bowl of blueberry mini-wheats I smiled. I felt good. Nothing was bothering me physically and we were 2-0 on the season going into a game against a team that was 0-2. I wanted to play well and win... 2 things that were quite doable. Between kickball and football I haven’t been on a team that has lost a game in 2 weeks and I was getting used to the prosperity.
We arrived at the field, got loose and as game time approached I took a look over at the other sideline. The team we were playing was in rusty orange shirts. We had played them last year and did well against them but they added a few guys and didn’t look like a team that hadn’t won yet. In fact they looked pretty good. They had a bunch of small quick guys which personally I hate chasing all over the field. But they had no size and we had a few tall guys, myself included, plus we have that veteran savvy that can win some close games for you. I was looking forward to the matchup as we got underway.
We started off on defense and if you go by what happens on the first play of a game, things looked good for us. The guy throwing for them threw a ball across the middle to a female and she dropped it. I clapped softly. Any good result for us is well, a good result. On the next play they hit a female for about 20 yards down the sideline opposite of the one I was guarding. That wasn’t good. The next play netted them about 15 more yards in the same general area. The guy playing safety back there wasn’t moving toward the play very well. Within a few plays they scored and for the first time this season we were losing in a game.
We now had the ball and we know we can score in bunches so it wasn’t that tense a situation but it didn’t take very long for it to get tense, just in a different way. Our quarterback threw to one of our girls in the flat and whammo! Some guy decided he was going to try to intercept the pass except his chosen route was a little unusual as well as impossible. He decided he’d try to get the ball by going through our female’s body. Now let me tell you something about our football league. There are no ghosts in it. There aren’t any superheroes that I know of nor are there any illusionists or magicians. So all this guy did was jump into the air and slam into our female from behind, mostly whacking her in the back of her head with his arm.
When this occurred there were a few quick mumbles and heys in that guy’s direction. The referee on that side of the field cautioned him. I mumbled something the guy’s way and of course he reacted to it. He tried to justify his actions to me since I was the most vocal on our team about it. He said “I was trying to get the ball” to which I replied, “what, through her head?” On a play like that the guy was late arriving. The girl had position and the ball was thrown right to her midsection so all he could have done was apply the 2-handed tag right after she caught it, if she did.
So now there was some tension on the field and I hate when people play physical like that. 3 things happen: First, the referees now suddenly have to make hard judgments and influence the game which they don’t want to do but have to do to keep the 2 teams from escalating to an all out brawl or something. Second, when one team plays physical the other team will either respond in kind or be really pissed off the whole game. Either way, this takes the element of fun out for most people. Lastly, when it starts to get chippy and physical out there, some people will back off and not try as hard. Females may get afraid to catch balls in fear of some over zealous douchebag bumping them and some of the guys will play passive because they don’t want to chance getting hurt. You can’t blame anyone for reacting in such a way although it burns me because when a bully wins that always pisses me off to no end. I start to think when the bully wins; it encourages their forceful, brutish mentality.
A few minutes later in the game I was over the middle on a route and the quarterback threw my way. Just before the high throw struck my outstretched hands a felt a good shot in the side from one my opponents. I couldn’t catch the ball, nor could I keep my balance when I returned to the earth and the force sent me into a stumble and eventual roll once I realized I was going to tumble down. When I jumped back up to my feet I took a look and saw who it was who did it… yep, same guy. I gave him the death glare for a few seconds before I went back to my team huddle. One of the girls on our team said I looked like I wanted to kill him. Maybe I did but I wasn’t. While I was angry it helped that the referee threw a flag on the play and called him for pass interference. What he did was throw a hip check at me in the air just before the ball arrived into my hands. I suppose he was going for the ball again, just was trying to do it through MY body this time.
This might be a good time to cover the rule on contact during games. This from page 6 of our 8-page rule package under Offense, Rule 20: “This is a non-contact league. Other than being tagged, there should be no other contact made”. Also I cite Defense, Page 7, Rule 1: “This is a non-contact league. Hitting, blocking, bump and run and tackling are not allowed.” Now with this in mind you might understand why we were getting testy with our opponent today. There is a significant difference between stepping in front of someone to make a play on the ball and going through someone’s body (bumping, pushing, hitting) to make a play on the ball. They obviously didn’t get it and their reckless play spoiled the afternoon for us.
The worst part was that the physicality overshadowed the fact they played a very good game against us. They moved the ball almost at will against our normally solid defense. We fought the whole way and by I mean we kept the score close, not actually fought. We were generally within 1 touchdown most of the game. When we fell behind by 2 touchdowns we’d often score one right back to close the gap. One of those times is when I got hurt. I ran a 10 yard out pattern and when the throw came the defender tried to jump in front of it to intercept it but the throw was a good one and he jumped in front of me but by then the ball was already in my hands. I turned and ran down the sideline looking at the end zone only 20 yards away. As I was making my dash for the touchdown I saw only one guy who had a chance to catch me.
He was coming at an angle and was running very fast. As I got down to about the 5 yard line I thought about going airborne to dive for the goal line but right before I did this guy slammed into my legs. I don’t know why he slammed into my legs but when he hit my left leg it was pushed very forcefully into my right leg and I went down pretty fast. I think I made it about 3 or 4 yards from the goal line so we were really close and we had a few plays left to score. I sprang up to my feet but when I did I could feel something wasn’t right. I took a step and my right ankle was screaming at me. I jogged off the field and signaled for a substitute to come in. I probably shouldn’t have jogged off the field but that was instinct that goes back to high school football. If a play finished and I was hurt after that play I’d always jump up to my feet and run back to the huddle or the sideline and never let the other side know they hurt me. That ficticious display was something I did often to hide “weakness”. Yeah I know it’s a silly macho thing but that’s what I learned growing up and that’s what my instincts told me to do. When I arrived at our sideline I was in a good amount of pain. It was the back of my ankle. As I tried to walk it off, pacing back and forth I looked up long enough to see one of our females catch a short touchdown pass and we once again closed the deficit to one touchdown. That was the good news. The bad news was that I could not sprint.
I tried to walk it off, flex my ankle but I could not push off in a way that would allow me to run hard and fast. So I had to stay off the field while I watched the other team take the ball and march down for another score to restore their lead to 2 touchdowns. Another one of our guys was hurting and was out of the game too. We were down 2 guys and fading. The captain/quarterback came over to me and asked me if I wanted to throw. I agreed because it would get me back on the field. We were now down the 2 scores plus time was ticking away in the game and things were getting desperate.
I did manage to get us down the field for a score to close the gap within one but the other team had the ball with less than 4 minutes left. We had to get it back. Now this is the point where if this were a movie I’d tell you how we stopped them and with less than 30 seconds left I threw a game winning touchdown. Unfortunately life isn’t always like the movies. As it turned out they held the ball for the duration of the game and then scored on the last play to beat us 30-something to 20-something.
I limped to the car upset that we lost but far more upset that this team played the way they did and won. I am a believer in karma and balance and I was bummed that they got away with what they did and was rewarded with the win. In a perfect world they would have blown it and lost because that’s what they deserved. Perhaps their comeuppance will come at another time. I hope I’m there to see it. That definitely gets me more than losing the game. Plus I now have a mildly injured ankle courtesy of their reckless play and I have a very important kickball game Monday evening. I have to be ready to rock n roll. I will be. But for now consider me sore and sore.
We arrived at the field, got loose and as game time approached I took a look over at the other sideline. The team we were playing was in rusty orange shirts. We had played them last year and did well against them but they added a few guys and didn’t look like a team that hadn’t won yet. In fact they looked pretty good. They had a bunch of small quick guys which personally I hate chasing all over the field. But they had no size and we had a few tall guys, myself included, plus we have that veteran savvy that can win some close games for you. I was looking forward to the matchup as we got underway.
We started off on defense and if you go by what happens on the first play of a game, things looked good for us. The guy throwing for them threw a ball across the middle to a female and she dropped it. I clapped softly. Any good result for us is well, a good result. On the next play they hit a female for about 20 yards down the sideline opposite of the one I was guarding. That wasn’t good. The next play netted them about 15 more yards in the same general area. The guy playing safety back there wasn’t moving toward the play very well. Within a few plays they scored and for the first time this season we were losing in a game.
We now had the ball and we know we can score in bunches so it wasn’t that tense a situation but it didn’t take very long for it to get tense, just in a different way. Our quarterback threw to one of our girls in the flat and whammo! Some guy decided he was going to try to intercept the pass except his chosen route was a little unusual as well as impossible. He decided he’d try to get the ball by going through our female’s body. Now let me tell you something about our football league. There are no ghosts in it. There aren’t any superheroes that I know of nor are there any illusionists or magicians. So all this guy did was jump into the air and slam into our female from behind, mostly whacking her in the back of her head with his arm.
When this occurred there were a few quick mumbles and heys in that guy’s direction. The referee on that side of the field cautioned him. I mumbled something the guy’s way and of course he reacted to it. He tried to justify his actions to me since I was the most vocal on our team about it. He said “I was trying to get the ball” to which I replied, “what, through her head?” On a play like that the guy was late arriving. The girl had position and the ball was thrown right to her midsection so all he could have done was apply the 2-handed tag right after she caught it, if she did.
So now there was some tension on the field and I hate when people play physical like that. 3 things happen: First, the referees now suddenly have to make hard judgments and influence the game which they don’t want to do but have to do to keep the 2 teams from escalating to an all out brawl or something. Second, when one team plays physical the other team will either respond in kind or be really pissed off the whole game. Either way, this takes the element of fun out for most people. Lastly, when it starts to get chippy and physical out there, some people will back off and not try as hard. Females may get afraid to catch balls in fear of some over zealous douchebag bumping them and some of the guys will play passive because they don’t want to chance getting hurt. You can’t blame anyone for reacting in such a way although it burns me because when a bully wins that always pisses me off to no end. I start to think when the bully wins; it encourages their forceful, brutish mentality.
A few minutes later in the game I was over the middle on a route and the quarterback threw my way. Just before the high throw struck my outstretched hands a felt a good shot in the side from one my opponents. I couldn’t catch the ball, nor could I keep my balance when I returned to the earth and the force sent me into a stumble and eventual roll once I realized I was going to tumble down. When I jumped back up to my feet I took a look and saw who it was who did it… yep, same guy. I gave him the death glare for a few seconds before I went back to my team huddle. One of the girls on our team said I looked like I wanted to kill him. Maybe I did but I wasn’t. While I was angry it helped that the referee threw a flag on the play and called him for pass interference. What he did was throw a hip check at me in the air just before the ball arrived into my hands. I suppose he was going for the ball again, just was trying to do it through MY body this time.
This might be a good time to cover the rule on contact during games. This from page 6 of our 8-page rule package under Offense, Rule 20: “This is a non-contact league. Other than being tagged, there should be no other contact made”. Also I cite Defense, Page 7, Rule 1: “This is a non-contact league. Hitting, blocking, bump and run and tackling are not allowed.” Now with this in mind you might understand why we were getting testy with our opponent today. There is a significant difference between stepping in front of someone to make a play on the ball and going through someone’s body (bumping, pushing, hitting) to make a play on the ball. They obviously didn’t get it and their reckless play spoiled the afternoon for us.
The worst part was that the physicality overshadowed the fact they played a very good game against us. They moved the ball almost at will against our normally solid defense. We fought the whole way and by I mean we kept the score close, not actually fought. We were generally within 1 touchdown most of the game. When we fell behind by 2 touchdowns we’d often score one right back to close the gap. One of those times is when I got hurt. I ran a 10 yard out pattern and when the throw came the defender tried to jump in front of it to intercept it but the throw was a good one and he jumped in front of me but by then the ball was already in my hands. I turned and ran down the sideline looking at the end zone only 20 yards away. As I was making my dash for the touchdown I saw only one guy who had a chance to catch me.
He was coming at an angle and was running very fast. As I got down to about the 5 yard line I thought about going airborne to dive for the goal line but right before I did this guy slammed into my legs. I don’t know why he slammed into my legs but when he hit my left leg it was pushed very forcefully into my right leg and I went down pretty fast. I think I made it about 3 or 4 yards from the goal line so we were really close and we had a few plays left to score. I sprang up to my feet but when I did I could feel something wasn’t right. I took a step and my right ankle was screaming at me. I jogged off the field and signaled for a substitute to come in. I probably shouldn’t have jogged off the field but that was instinct that goes back to high school football. If a play finished and I was hurt after that play I’d always jump up to my feet and run back to the huddle or the sideline and never let the other side know they hurt me. That ficticious display was something I did often to hide “weakness”. Yeah I know it’s a silly macho thing but that’s what I learned growing up and that’s what my instincts told me to do. When I arrived at our sideline I was in a good amount of pain. It was the back of my ankle. As I tried to walk it off, pacing back and forth I looked up long enough to see one of our females catch a short touchdown pass and we once again closed the deficit to one touchdown. That was the good news. The bad news was that I could not sprint.
I tried to walk it off, flex my ankle but I could not push off in a way that would allow me to run hard and fast. So I had to stay off the field while I watched the other team take the ball and march down for another score to restore their lead to 2 touchdowns. Another one of our guys was hurting and was out of the game too. We were down 2 guys and fading. The captain/quarterback came over to me and asked me if I wanted to throw. I agreed because it would get me back on the field. We were now down the 2 scores plus time was ticking away in the game and things were getting desperate.
I did manage to get us down the field for a score to close the gap within one but the other team had the ball with less than 4 minutes left. We had to get it back. Now this is the point where if this were a movie I’d tell you how we stopped them and with less than 30 seconds left I threw a game winning touchdown. Unfortunately life isn’t always like the movies. As it turned out they held the ball for the duration of the game and then scored on the last play to beat us 30-something to 20-something.
I limped to the car upset that we lost but far more upset that this team played the way they did and won. I am a believer in karma and balance and I was bummed that they got away with what they did and was rewarded with the win. In a perfect world they would have blown it and lost because that’s what they deserved. Perhaps their comeuppance will come at another time. I hope I’m there to see it. That definitely gets me more than losing the game. Plus I now have a mildly injured ankle courtesy of their reckless play and I have a very important kickball game Monday evening. I have to be ready to rock n roll. I will be. But for now consider me sore and sore.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
100 Blogs in 100 Days: (#65) - "A little Beethoven, a little Harry Potter"
The Buffalo Philharmonic Orchestra had their season sampler concert last night at Kleinhans Music Hall to kick off their 75th anniversary year. The concert was absolutely free and so was the food and refreshments which were donated by such wonderful restaurants as Salvatore’s and other similar eateries. While I was happy to take in the free music, the very lengthy lines talked me out of any appetizers or drinks.
I discovered that this was a new concept by the BPO intended to entice fans both old and new to come down this season and see some shows. What a great idea! In the last year alone I’ve seen the BPO backing Ben Folds, interpreting European composers, doing a free show in Delaware Park and now this! It really is a thrill to see the 70-80 virtuosos up there performing together. It’s magical and these masters have such versatility that they can play any type of music. Last night was a fair example of this as they played Beethoven, Brahms, Mozart, Gershwin, Duke Ellington, Tchaikovsky and even a little John Williams’ Harry Potter for the kiddies. I sat there pleased and I felt so fortunate that I was sitting in that music hall privy to such greatness. Plus I sat only 15 rows from the stage… I never get to do that! So I thank them for the wonderful show and for the wonderful idea.
I guess it worked because I’m now thinking about going to few of their shows this year although I haven’t figured out which ones yet. I did just find out that on Sunday night they are playing a benefit show at Kleinhans for the Food Bank of WNY. It’s going to be an interesting show because many Buffalo Music Hall of Famers are going to be joining the BPO on stage and they’ll be ranging in styles from doo wop to Motown to classic jazz to barbershop to big band and among the local music legends joining them on stage will be the cool, colorful, kickball enthusiast, Lance Diamond. The show is open seating but will cost a $25 donation which will go right to the Food Bank and it starts at 7pm Sunday night.
I discovered that this was a new concept by the BPO intended to entice fans both old and new to come down this season and see some shows. What a great idea! In the last year alone I’ve seen the BPO backing Ben Folds, interpreting European composers, doing a free show in Delaware Park and now this! It really is a thrill to see the 70-80 virtuosos up there performing together. It’s magical and these masters have such versatility that they can play any type of music. Last night was a fair example of this as they played Beethoven, Brahms, Mozart, Gershwin, Duke Ellington, Tchaikovsky and even a little John Williams’ Harry Potter for the kiddies. I sat there pleased and I felt so fortunate that I was sitting in that music hall privy to such greatness. Plus I sat only 15 rows from the stage… I never get to do that! So I thank them for the wonderful show and for the wonderful idea.
I guess it worked because I’m now thinking about going to few of their shows this year although I haven’t figured out which ones yet. I did just find out that on Sunday night they are playing a benefit show at Kleinhans for the Food Bank of WNY. It’s going to be an interesting show because many Buffalo Music Hall of Famers are going to be joining the BPO on stage and they’ll be ranging in styles from doo wop to Motown to classic jazz to barbershop to big band and among the local music legends joining them on stage will be the cool, colorful, kickball enthusiast, Lance Diamond. The show is open seating but will cost a $25 donation which will go right to the Food Bank and it starts at 7pm Sunday night.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
100 Blogs in 100 Days: (#64) - "Dissecting Emerson's Hobgoblins"
"A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines. With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do. He may as well concern himself with his shadow on the wall. Speak what you think now in hard words, and to-morrow speak what to-morrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said to-day. — 'Ah, so you shall be sure to be misunderstood.' — Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
I’ve been thinking about this passage in Emerson’s Self Reliance today. I’ve known of it for many years and sometimes I look to it for inspiration. Since I am reading Self Reliance and I came across it yet again this morning, I couldn’t help but pause and ponder. “A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines”. What does this quote really mean? I suppose it could mean a million things to a million people but for now I can only be concerned with what it means to me. To me it means to live in the moment, to be unafraid to try new things and seek adventures both big and small. I also interpret it as to be courageous, be your own person and not be lazy, do the easy thing and follow the crowd. I think it means to think big, dream big and love big so not to waste your great soul and confine it into the servitude of self. For every soul can be great!
I think this philosophy explains a lot about me and the way that I am. I think it explains why I dip my feet into many pools and feel the need to go in many directions with my free time. I’ve written for papers, written for websites, done radio shows, written and performed poetry, made films, joined numerous social clubs and sports teams (even in sports I’m not experienced in), worked in various fields, studied numerous others, and pick up and discard hobbies like life was some kind of race. I’m not going to sit here and proclaim to everyone that I have a great soul but I often live like I believe that I do.
I think of life as ever evolving. We change, we grow and we gather knowledge. Yes we get content from time to time but I do not think we should stay there. I’m not saying we should hop from one job to the next nor share our bed with one person to the next just to “satisfy the soul”. I think you can pick your spots to taste life and you can do so with the utmost respect for your neighbor and yourself. You must remember that while your own needs are the most important to you that you live in a world with other people. People aren’t there to be used, they are there to be loved. I know it’s a cliché, but it’s a cliché for a reason… you should treat people how you want to be treated. That, my friends is a wise consistency.
Emerson does not really touch upon the topic of a wise consistency but since he qualified a “foolish” one we are left to think that he intended a difference. The bottom line is we’ll have to interpret it ourselves. I think a wise consistency is living a good life, full of wonder, expressing ourselves, loving, giving and living in the moment. I think it’s helping each other when we are able and thinking for ourselves even if that means our ideas and opinions isolate us from the world and we are going against the grain. Regardless, I think the message is, mix it up, be open minded, take risks, think outside the box and don’t be afraid to be you.
Do you have an opinion on what he meant? What do you think about the foolish consistency or what I have to say about it? If you are not sure you understand what I’ve said I won’t fret… to be great is to be misunderstood!
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
I’ve been thinking about this passage in Emerson’s Self Reliance today. I’ve known of it for many years and sometimes I look to it for inspiration. Since I am reading Self Reliance and I came across it yet again this morning, I couldn’t help but pause and ponder. “A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines”. What does this quote really mean? I suppose it could mean a million things to a million people but for now I can only be concerned with what it means to me. To me it means to live in the moment, to be unafraid to try new things and seek adventures both big and small. I also interpret it as to be courageous, be your own person and not be lazy, do the easy thing and follow the crowd. I think it means to think big, dream big and love big so not to waste your great soul and confine it into the servitude of self. For every soul can be great!
I think this philosophy explains a lot about me and the way that I am. I think it explains why I dip my feet into many pools and feel the need to go in many directions with my free time. I’ve written for papers, written for websites, done radio shows, written and performed poetry, made films, joined numerous social clubs and sports teams (even in sports I’m not experienced in), worked in various fields, studied numerous others, and pick up and discard hobbies like life was some kind of race. I’m not going to sit here and proclaim to everyone that I have a great soul but I often live like I believe that I do.
I think of life as ever evolving. We change, we grow and we gather knowledge. Yes we get content from time to time but I do not think we should stay there. I’m not saying we should hop from one job to the next nor share our bed with one person to the next just to “satisfy the soul”. I think you can pick your spots to taste life and you can do so with the utmost respect for your neighbor and yourself. You must remember that while your own needs are the most important to you that you live in a world with other people. People aren’t there to be used, they are there to be loved. I know it’s a cliché, but it’s a cliché for a reason… you should treat people how you want to be treated. That, my friends is a wise consistency.
Emerson does not really touch upon the topic of a wise consistency but since he qualified a “foolish” one we are left to think that he intended a difference. The bottom line is we’ll have to interpret it ourselves. I think a wise consistency is living a good life, full of wonder, expressing ourselves, loving, giving and living in the moment. I think it’s helping each other when we are able and thinking for ourselves even if that means our ideas and opinions isolate us from the world and we are going against the grain. Regardless, I think the message is, mix it up, be open minded, take risks, think outside the box and don’t be afraid to be you.
Do you have an opinion on what he meant? What do you think about the foolish consistency or what I have to say about it? If you are not sure you understand what I’ve said I won’t fret… to be great is to be misunderstood!
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
100 Blogs in 100 Days: (#63) - "Work"
I don’t talk about work much. It’s not because I don’t have strong opinions about it, it’s just that I don’t like to bring work home with me. It is how I’ve always been. I was the same way with school. When I was not on campus, I wanted nothing to do with it. Today I’m going to write about it because quite frankly, I’m still at work. I’m working late and I’m on my break so I figured I could start a blog and then finish it when I get home tonight.
Like most people, work has its ups and downs. On the bright side, I love working at a record store. There’s a romanticism involved for me because of my deep love of music and because they are dropping like flies. To be at one of the last record stores is kinda cool, plus to be at one that is/was a local chain instead of a Borders, Media Play, FYE or some corporate entity is kinda cooler. Now I know, I should really grow up and get a big person’s job and stop living an unfulfilling fantasy. To that I say, I know and when the store finally dies off (and it will in the near future) I will do that. For now, I will enjoy my romance. I make just enough to get the things I need and even to get a few things that I don’t. I lead a simple life. I don’t do things I can’t afford and I generally do not want the things I don’t have or need. It’s really that simple.
The downside of work is surely the pay, the lack of benefits and the boredom of not being challenged too often. Plus there are the people. When you work with weirdos, kiss-asses, selfish people and liars you tend to get sick of them after a period of time. I don’t let their bad juju get to me though which is why you never hear me complain about work even when I have a rotten day and also why I never take out my frustrations on anyone else. Like I said, I don’t bring work home. It would take something incredibly significant for me to feel terrible 30 minutes after I get home. Life is simply too short to worry about such silly things. Besides, there’s far more silly and wonderful things to think about when we are on my time and when I walk out that door, I’m on my time.
I guess what I am getting at is I believe in working my job but not letting my job work me. I do what I do, get paid and get to help people out sometimes. I use the money I make to buy necessities and smiles. I don’t know if there’s more to it than that.
Like most people, work has its ups and downs. On the bright side, I love working at a record store. There’s a romanticism involved for me because of my deep love of music and because they are dropping like flies. To be at one of the last record stores is kinda cool, plus to be at one that is/was a local chain instead of a Borders, Media Play, FYE or some corporate entity is kinda cooler. Now I know, I should really grow up and get a big person’s job and stop living an unfulfilling fantasy. To that I say, I know and when the store finally dies off (and it will in the near future) I will do that. For now, I will enjoy my romance. I make just enough to get the things I need and even to get a few things that I don’t. I lead a simple life. I don’t do things I can’t afford and I generally do not want the things I don’t have or need. It’s really that simple.
The downside of work is surely the pay, the lack of benefits and the boredom of not being challenged too often. Plus there are the people. When you work with weirdos, kiss-asses, selfish people and liars you tend to get sick of them after a period of time. I don’t let their bad juju get to me though which is why you never hear me complain about work even when I have a rotten day and also why I never take out my frustrations on anyone else. Like I said, I don’t bring work home. It would take something incredibly significant for me to feel terrible 30 minutes after I get home. Life is simply too short to worry about such silly things. Besides, there’s far more silly and wonderful things to think about when we are on my time and when I walk out that door, I’m on my time.
I guess what I am getting at is I believe in working my job but not letting my job work me. I do what I do, get paid and get to help people out sometimes. I use the money I make to buy necessities and smiles. I don’t know if there’s more to it than that.
100 Blogs in 100 Days: (#62) - "North by Northwest"
As I rode my bike downtown I could feel the hair whipping through my hair. It reminded me why I like having it long. It’s truly a free and excellent feeling. The air was warm and with my short sleeve polo shirt and shorts on plus that natural wind enhanced through my hurried pedaling… the trip was quite refreshing.
The only thing that wasn’t perfect about the ride down was the fact that I was in a mild hurry. I had a destination and a time to be there by. When I arrived there I did so about 5 minutes before the film was about to start. Tonight it was North by Northwest, the Hitchcock classic and very well regarded thriller. After several minutes in line to buy a ticket I made it to my seat about 5 minutes after seven but no worries as they decided to start a little late this evening.
If I thought the ride down was exhilarating, it was nothing compared to the ride this film would take me on over the next 2 hours! Sure there would be the twists and turns you’d expect from a thriller with this much praise heaped on it over the years but there was so much more! There was an excellent score that worked really well with key moments of the film. There were top notch editing and brilliant angles which accentuated the action and dialogue. Plus Cary Grant was fantastic in the starring role mixing the right amount of humor with his plight. Actually, that’s my favorite part of the film along with many of the other Hitchcock films I’ve seen.
Hitchcock has a knack for humor whether it’s a horror film, thriller or mystery. He knows how to toe the line of injecting humor into scenes that are very close to being dark or melancholy. I couldn’t believe how many one liners and witty comebacks there were in this film. The best part of it all is that the humor didn’t affect the thrilling plot and the thrilling plot didn’t interfere with the humor. They enhanced each other. So without giving too much of the plot away all I can say is that if you haven’t seen this film, you really should. It’s a great ride.
The only thing that wasn’t perfect about the ride down was the fact that I was in a mild hurry. I had a destination and a time to be there by. When I arrived there I did so about 5 minutes before the film was about to start. Tonight it was North by Northwest, the Hitchcock classic and very well regarded thriller. After several minutes in line to buy a ticket I made it to my seat about 5 minutes after seven but no worries as they decided to start a little late this evening.
If I thought the ride down was exhilarating, it was nothing compared to the ride this film would take me on over the next 2 hours! Sure there would be the twists and turns you’d expect from a thriller with this much praise heaped on it over the years but there was so much more! There was an excellent score that worked really well with key moments of the film. There were top notch editing and brilliant angles which accentuated the action and dialogue. Plus Cary Grant was fantastic in the starring role mixing the right amount of humor with his plight. Actually, that’s my favorite part of the film along with many of the other Hitchcock films I’ve seen.
Hitchcock has a knack for humor whether it’s a horror film, thriller or mystery. He knows how to toe the line of injecting humor into scenes that are very close to being dark or melancholy. I couldn’t believe how many one liners and witty comebacks there were in this film. The best part of it all is that the humor didn’t affect the thrilling plot and the thrilling plot didn’t interfere with the humor. They enhanced each other. So without giving too much of the plot away all I can say is that if you haven’t seen this film, you really should. It’s a great ride.
Monday, September 20, 2010
100 Blogs in 100 Days: (#61) - "Psychic, Prophet or Goofball?"
Once upon a time there was a man who lived on the other side of Elmwood Avenue. If you traveled past the mean streets of Mariner and College and far past the Hills where the toys were, you’d find yourself on the outskirts of Allentown and where this unusual man resided. He displayed peculiar ways early on and none more than when he developed a knack for predicting minor events and occurances. This strange talent earned him the nickname "The Wizard of Wadsworth" even though he lived on Hudson Street 4 houses off of Wadsworth. This only added to the controversy and the legend but apparently, wizards know no bounds.
Some said he was gifted, others say cursed but the fact remained that his skills predicting things were better than most. He’d often know what songs would be next on the radio, or what someone he knew would say before they said it. Skeptics claimed he was merely an attentive, logical and bright person. He could predict behavior based on knowledge and experience. Others were mystified at this neighborhood phenomenon and impressed most of all was himself.
Over the years while he has sharpened his gift for prediction he has moved a few villages over to the Elmwood Village where he maintains a subtle level of anonymity. Occasionally his gift is on display when he sits on the patio of Caffe Aroma and predicts the outcomes of arguments. Again naysayers dispute this and attribute it to repeated exposure to coffeehouse behavior. They claim it is merely the use of empirical methods to create the illusion of prophetic ability.
Time and time again the validity of this dynamic modern soothsayer has come into question. Is he lucky? Is he gifted? Is he a goofball? In the absence of cold hard facts all that remains is opinion. There are those who marvel at his ability to guess what will happen most of the time and then there is the legion of the unimpressed who think if he is so gifted why hasn't he been on America's Got Talent yet?
He can prove time and time again that he is truly gifted but those who believe require no proof and those who do not cannot have it proven to them… but those of you on the fence are in luck. Once again he will attempt to prove those who would nay wrong. His most recent prediction is today Kickapotamus will win their kickball game against Gecko’s. This he guarantees. Go down to Delaware Park at 6pm today and see for yourself but I must warn you, be ready to be amazed.
Some said he was gifted, others say cursed but the fact remained that his skills predicting things were better than most. He’d often know what songs would be next on the radio, or what someone he knew would say before they said it. Skeptics claimed he was merely an attentive, logical and bright person. He could predict behavior based on knowledge and experience. Others were mystified at this neighborhood phenomenon and impressed most of all was himself.
Over the years while he has sharpened his gift for prediction he has moved a few villages over to the Elmwood Village where he maintains a subtle level of anonymity. Occasionally his gift is on display when he sits on the patio of Caffe Aroma and predicts the outcomes of arguments. Again naysayers dispute this and attribute it to repeated exposure to coffeehouse behavior. They claim it is merely the use of empirical methods to create the illusion of prophetic ability.
Time and time again the validity of this dynamic modern soothsayer has come into question. Is he lucky? Is he gifted? Is he a goofball? In the absence of cold hard facts all that remains is opinion. There are those who marvel at his ability to guess what will happen most of the time and then there is the legion of the unimpressed who think if he is so gifted why hasn't he been on America's Got Talent yet?
He can prove time and time again that he is truly gifted but those who believe require no proof and those who do not cannot have it proven to them… but those of you on the fence are in luck. Once again he will attempt to prove those who would nay wrong. His most recent prediction is today Kickapotamus will win their kickball game against Gecko’s. This he guarantees. Go down to Delaware Park at 6pm today and see for yourself but I must warn you, be ready to be amazed.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
100 Blogs in 100 Days: (Day 60) - "Hello Yesterday"
When I found out earlier in the week about this 80’s show called Hello Yesterday I was pretty excited. When I heard about the price of the ticket I became a bit skeptical. I thought about it for a few days before pulling the trigger on a purchase. I came to the conclusion that since I had never seen any of the 6 bands playing the show, it was going to be outdoors and the weather was forecasted to be amazing plus with us only a few days away from the official start of fall I decided this was something I should do. So I bought my ticket and started to do a bit of research on the bands I wasn’t too familiar with and the few that I wanted to see more than the others. While the high ticket price made me consider not going the bottom line is that I just love music too much and seeing 6 bands I’ve heard of and have mostly enjoyed to different extents in my life was too good of an opportunity to pass up.
After walking through LaSalle Park and arriving at the gate I noticed that it was a perfect day to have this festival and that apparently a lot of people did not agree with something about it because it was desolate. When I arrived the show hadn’t really gotten underway but that was still no excuse for the place to be so empty. It looked like they fenced off an area around the Pavilion that could accommodate something like 3000-5000 people but there were only a fraction of that there. During the first few hours of the show it looked like there might have been about 200 people there, if that. On the bright side, it made getting food and drinks easy. Plus they had over 40 porta-potties so it was almost like there was one for each of us.
The bands who played were Gene Loves Jezebel, Animotion, Dramarama, When in Rome, The Romantics and Flock of Seagulls. I’ll review them in order by how much I liked them from least to best:
6. Animotion – I should start off by mentioning that I was never a big fan. I always thought of them as a Human League ripoff. They made me laugh hysterically when they did in fact do a Human League cover. They made me cry when they tried a Depeche Mode one. I did listen to a few of their songs in the beginning of their set to give them a chance but I just don’t think they are that good.
5. When in Rome – I always loved “The Promise” but I knew nothing of their other work. There was a reason for this… they only made ONE album. Why they were on this show with the other more long term acts and why they weren’t put on first instead of fourth confused me. Was Howard Jones not available? What about Altered Images or Thomas Dolby? What was Wang Chung up to this weekend? I question their catalog but they were okay performance wise. They were pleasant and unspectacular but I still think of what might have been.
4. Gene Loves Jezebel – It’s always tough being on first and these guys had that distinction. I thought they played well and singer/leader Mike Aston had a nice presence up there. The songs were cool and really got me into the spirit of the show. I wished I could have seen them later in the day but why not start off the day with a great band?
3. Flock of Seagulls – While this was the band I most looked forward to I found their set good but not great. They received the headliner spot playing last and they didn’t disappoint. They put more recent tracks in the earlier part of their set but during the 2nd half of it they destroyed with their sparkling hits and timeless classics. I rate them 3rd for being a little bit uneven although I enjoyed them very much.
2. The Romantics – I wasn’t expecting that much from these guys. They were rockin up there and had great energy. Their songs were different from most of the new wave type of songs we’d heard most of the day and they gave us a very good effort. The vocalist is a little limited and that held them back a little but their catchy rock n roll songs really did the trick.
1- Dramarama – I wasn’t sure if these guys would be good but I was anticipating their performance more than any other band in the show out of sheer curiosity. The vocalists’ voice was something I worried about after watching and listening to some YouTube videos of recent live performances but he came out on fire and never quit. We commented as to how his voice came through like “CD quality” and he was coolest musician by far as he ran out to the crowd a few times during the end of the set. The first was to give us all high fives as he ran down the row and then right after the set he came right down and posed for pictures, hung out and made himself very accessible to the small crowd. Their songs sounded the most relevant in a modern sense and their live sound invoked memories of Soul Asylum and bands like that. Their lyrical content was all their own and really resonated with me. For that reason I liked them best.
Lastly I want to mention while the crowd was surely disappointing as it never reached more than 400-500 people at one time, the bands never made a comment about it. They never acted annoyed or upset about playing in front of 50 people or however many could find their way from the beer tent to the front of the stage. I mentioned that to my friends at the very beginning, that I hoped they wouldn’t bring it up. I really dislike when bands or artists bitch about the crowd. It’s so unprofessional and you are taking it out on the people who ARE there. The people who you are pissed at should be the ones who did not attend. The ones who are there may not be as large a number as you’d like but they paid to see you and they still deserve a good show. It was the first time I saw each of these bands and maybe it’s the last time too but one thing I can definitely say is that each one tried their best to give us a good show whether I was into them or not being irrelevant. I thank them for that.
After walking through LaSalle Park and arriving at the gate I noticed that it was a perfect day to have this festival and that apparently a lot of people did not agree with something about it because it was desolate. When I arrived the show hadn’t really gotten underway but that was still no excuse for the place to be so empty. It looked like they fenced off an area around the Pavilion that could accommodate something like 3000-5000 people but there were only a fraction of that there. During the first few hours of the show it looked like there might have been about 200 people there, if that. On the bright side, it made getting food and drinks easy. Plus they had over 40 porta-potties so it was almost like there was one for each of us.
The bands who played were Gene Loves Jezebel, Animotion, Dramarama, When in Rome, The Romantics and Flock of Seagulls. I’ll review them in order by how much I liked them from least to best:
6. Animotion – I should start off by mentioning that I was never a big fan. I always thought of them as a Human League ripoff. They made me laugh hysterically when they did in fact do a Human League cover. They made me cry when they tried a Depeche Mode one. I did listen to a few of their songs in the beginning of their set to give them a chance but I just don’t think they are that good.
5. When in Rome – I always loved “The Promise” but I knew nothing of their other work. There was a reason for this… they only made ONE album. Why they were on this show with the other more long term acts and why they weren’t put on first instead of fourth confused me. Was Howard Jones not available? What about Altered Images or Thomas Dolby? What was Wang Chung up to this weekend? I question their catalog but they were okay performance wise. They were pleasant and unspectacular but I still think of what might have been.
4. Gene Loves Jezebel – It’s always tough being on first and these guys had that distinction. I thought they played well and singer/leader Mike Aston had a nice presence up there. The songs were cool and really got me into the spirit of the show. I wished I could have seen them later in the day but why not start off the day with a great band?
3. Flock of Seagulls – While this was the band I most looked forward to I found their set good but not great. They received the headliner spot playing last and they didn’t disappoint. They put more recent tracks in the earlier part of their set but during the 2nd half of it they destroyed with their sparkling hits and timeless classics. I rate them 3rd for being a little bit uneven although I enjoyed them very much.
2. The Romantics – I wasn’t expecting that much from these guys. They were rockin up there and had great energy. Their songs were different from most of the new wave type of songs we’d heard most of the day and they gave us a very good effort. The vocalist is a little limited and that held them back a little but their catchy rock n roll songs really did the trick.
1- Dramarama – I wasn’t sure if these guys would be good but I was anticipating their performance more than any other band in the show out of sheer curiosity. The vocalists’ voice was something I worried about after watching and listening to some YouTube videos of recent live performances but he came out on fire and never quit. We commented as to how his voice came through like “CD quality” and he was coolest musician by far as he ran out to the crowd a few times during the end of the set. The first was to give us all high fives as he ran down the row and then right after the set he came right down and posed for pictures, hung out and made himself very accessible to the small crowd. Their songs sounded the most relevant in a modern sense and their live sound invoked memories of Soul Asylum and bands like that. Their lyrical content was all their own and really resonated with me. For that reason I liked them best.
Lastly I want to mention while the crowd was surely disappointing as it never reached more than 400-500 people at one time, the bands never made a comment about it. They never acted annoyed or upset about playing in front of 50 people or however many could find their way from the beer tent to the front of the stage. I mentioned that to my friends at the very beginning, that I hoped they wouldn’t bring it up. I really dislike when bands or artists bitch about the crowd. It’s so unprofessional and you are taking it out on the people who ARE there. The people who you are pissed at should be the ones who did not attend. The ones who are there may not be as large a number as you’d like but they paid to see you and they still deserve a good show. It was the first time I saw each of these bands and maybe it’s the last time too but one thing I can definitely say is that each one tried their best to give us a good show whether I was into them or not being irrelevant. I thank them for that.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
100 Blogs in 100 Days: (Day 59) - "Soul in my Stroll"
This won’t be a lengthy entry tonight because I’ve had a very full day and night. I’ve just returned from Soul Night after 3 hours of real nice soul jams that had my hips grooving and my head bobbing. For the most part they played great songs and the energy at the place was excellent. I had a few drinks and I sat back and took it all in. It was very relaxing and also it reminded me why I love smooth soul music.
Tomorrow I switch gears to 80’s music but first is a very important football game in the morning.
Tomorrow I switch gears to 80’s music but first is a very important football game in the morning.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
100 Blogs in 100 Days: (Day 58) - "Enjoying Life"
The other day I wrote as my status that I am all about enjoying life. I ain’t lyin! I’m all about doing fun little things that bring a smile to my face. The next 5 days starting tomorrow are chock full of these types of things. Tomorrow I’m going out to Soul Night and I’m going to take in some fine soul music. I’m hoping my holy soul trinity of Curtis Mayfield, Donny Hathaway and Al Green get some love. Plus there may even be some drinks, dancing and females involved so it could be a very nice night but give me some good soul music and I am a happy guy.
Saturday starts off with a football game and I’m hoping our team can go to 2-0 on the season. We won 42-19 last week and looked good despite not playing a great game. We can improve a lot and as of now I really like our chances in our division. After the game I have to get showered and ready for the Hello Yesterday 80’s festival/concert. It features 6 bands that achieved their greatest success in the 80’s but also are still around doing their thing. Of the 6 bands I really want to see Dramarama because they intrigue me and Flock of Seagulls because I really love a handful of their songs and Space Age Love Song has a very special place in my heart. There’s a personal story that goes with that song but I won’t reveal it here. That show is going on at LaSalle Park all day long! It’s also going to be sunny and in the low 70’s which obviously means that God and Mother Nature love 80’s music.
Sunday might be the bump in the road as my big event for Sunday is watching the Bills game and yeah I know, it’s probably not going to go well but I’m a true blue fan and being as such I will watch every agonizing minute of it if I have to. Hopefully it will go well but I have no reason to BiLLieve it will. I’ll either cook up a nice meal or maybe get some yummy take out but either way I will chill out, relax and scream at the TV for a few hours.
Monday brings the end of the weekend but it also signals the next kickball game and as I said in my blog earlier this week, I am GUARANTEEING a win this Monday. Am I psychic or just some someone talking out of their butt? You’ll have to come down to Delaware Park Monday evening at 6pm to find out!
Then on Tuesday night is the wonderful film seminar at the Market Arcade and this week is Hitchcock’s classic North by Northwest which is another fine film I’ve never seen! I don’t understand why more people don’t come down to these shows. Where else can you see such classic films on the big screen and as a bonus you get analysis and backstory from the professors!
Next Wednesday will bring my first break but it will be short lived because next Thursday night the BPO is playing a FREE show at Kleinhans to tease and tempt for their new season. Beethoven and Gershwin! How cool will that be? Plus 2 days later on the 25th is the Battle @ Buffalo dance battle, which is so amazing to see live and it will be my 3rd month in a row!
Anyway, here I am going on about life again. I love life and love doing all these little things that bring a smile to my face. If you read this and want to check out any of the things I mentioned, or have questions about them, feel free to ask and don’t be afraid to enjoy life too!
Saturday starts off with a football game and I’m hoping our team can go to 2-0 on the season. We won 42-19 last week and looked good despite not playing a great game. We can improve a lot and as of now I really like our chances in our division. After the game I have to get showered and ready for the Hello Yesterday 80’s festival/concert. It features 6 bands that achieved their greatest success in the 80’s but also are still around doing their thing. Of the 6 bands I really want to see Dramarama because they intrigue me and Flock of Seagulls because I really love a handful of their songs and Space Age Love Song has a very special place in my heart. There’s a personal story that goes with that song but I won’t reveal it here. That show is going on at LaSalle Park all day long! It’s also going to be sunny and in the low 70’s which obviously means that God and Mother Nature love 80’s music.
Sunday might be the bump in the road as my big event for Sunday is watching the Bills game and yeah I know, it’s probably not going to go well but I’m a true blue fan and being as such I will watch every agonizing minute of it if I have to. Hopefully it will go well but I have no reason to BiLLieve it will. I’ll either cook up a nice meal or maybe get some yummy take out but either way I will chill out, relax and scream at the TV for a few hours.
Monday brings the end of the weekend but it also signals the next kickball game and as I said in my blog earlier this week, I am GUARANTEEING a win this Monday. Am I psychic or just some someone talking out of their butt? You’ll have to come down to Delaware Park Monday evening at 6pm to find out!
Then on Tuesday night is the wonderful film seminar at the Market Arcade and this week is Hitchcock’s classic North by Northwest which is another fine film I’ve never seen! I don’t understand why more people don’t come down to these shows. Where else can you see such classic films on the big screen and as a bonus you get analysis and backstory from the professors!
Next Wednesday will bring my first break but it will be short lived because next Thursday night the BPO is playing a FREE show at Kleinhans to tease and tempt for their new season. Beethoven and Gershwin! How cool will that be? Plus 2 days later on the 25th is the Battle @ Buffalo dance battle, which is so amazing to see live and it will be my 3rd month in a row!
Anyway, here I am going on about life again. I love life and love doing all these little things that bring a smile to my face. If you read this and want to check out any of the things I mentioned, or have questions about them, feel free to ask and don’t be afraid to enjoy life too!
100 Blogs in 100 Days: (Day 57) - "Wrapping up the 48 Hour Film Project"
I think you remember the 48 Hour Film Project. I talked about it quite a bit during that 2nd week of August whether it was about the experience of making a film to the reaction to the other films. I believe there were close to 20 films entered in the Buffalo leg of the competition. I felt like half of them were really good. Of course some of the best films in the competition were by teams that that done it before, but good is good.
Ever since the week of the competition and the showings at the Market Arcade, I’ve been trying to find my favorite films online to watch again. Thankfully as of a few days ago I’ve been able to find all of the films I enjoyed and made a list of and what I am going to do is share all of those links with you now. If you went to either night of the screenings you’ll recognize a few of these films, and if you didn’t make it down at all think of this as a best of the 48 Hour Film Project 2010 from the Buffalo filmmakers. For those who are curious, the winner of the Buffalo competition is “48 Hours to Live”. When you see these keep in mind that each team had a different genre with which they had to adhere to. In some of these films, the genre may be obvious to you but in some you might not know. Anyway, enjoy!
Here are the best of the 48 Hour Film Project Buffalo 2010:
BMB: "30 Seconds to Love" *This is my team's film* I wouldn't say it's among the best from a technical standpoint but I've included it on this list anyway: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7AJupNCF9zI
Ma’s meatloaf: “Fixations” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YT4B1RoL6pQ&feature=related
Behold: “Red or White” - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yl-jSBjlNoU
Grim Ghostline- “Inconvenient”: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KhoXsAEGo_o&feature=related
Lady Bird Prod.: “Self Portrait” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9mcXXZrlDEA&feature=related
Lemmywinks: “In Her Sleep”= http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JcaldJPT-k8
Does Little Productions “Davis”= http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fycg9ArC1j0
RPM “Black, no sugar” - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CmxxAgZp1Cc
Idle Entertainment - “48 Hours to Live”= http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZyLyIe5lTYg
Ever since the week of the competition and the showings at the Market Arcade, I’ve been trying to find my favorite films online to watch again. Thankfully as of a few days ago I’ve been able to find all of the films I enjoyed and made a list of and what I am going to do is share all of those links with you now. If you went to either night of the screenings you’ll recognize a few of these films, and if you didn’t make it down at all think of this as a best of the 48 Hour Film Project 2010 from the Buffalo filmmakers. For those who are curious, the winner of the Buffalo competition is “48 Hours to Live”. When you see these keep in mind that each team had a different genre with which they had to adhere to. In some of these films, the genre may be obvious to you but in some you might not know. Anyway, enjoy!
Here are the best of the 48 Hour Film Project Buffalo 2010:
BMB: "30 Seconds to Love" *This is my team's film* I wouldn't say it's among the best from a technical standpoint but I've included it on this list anyway: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7AJupNCF9zI
Ma’s meatloaf: “Fixations” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YT4B1RoL6pQ&feature=related
Behold: “Red or White” - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yl-jSBjlNoU
Grim Ghostline- “Inconvenient”: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KhoXsAEGo_o&feature=related
Lady Bird Prod.: “Self Portrait” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9mcXXZrlDEA&feature=related
Lemmywinks: “In Her Sleep”= http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JcaldJPT-k8
Does Little Productions “Davis”= http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fycg9ArC1j0
RPM “Black, no sugar” - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CmxxAgZp1Cc
Idle Entertainment - “48 Hours to Live”= http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZyLyIe5lTYg
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
100 Blogs in 100 Days: (Day 56) - "The Maltese Falcon"
Whenever someone would say the word Falcon I would always associate it with Han Solo’s spaceship. You could be talking about the bird, the football team from Atlanta or a television show and the thought that would pop in there 10 times out of 10 is the Millennium Falcon. After tonight I think I’d still think of the Millennium Falcon 9 times out of 10 but now that 1 other time I’d think of the Maltese Falcon.
If you think that I may feel this way because I just saw that movie, you are correct. I went tonight as part of the UB film seminar and saw the classic film on the big screen. Once again the movie series provided another winner as it was easy to see why the film is as highly regarded as it is. The direction by legendary director John Huston, in his first film, was great plus nearly every main character was well played and worthy of praise. Bogart especially showed me a lot. I’ve only seen a handful of his films but with each additional one I see, the more I’m convinced of his greatness as an actor. While I don’t think he was as good in the Maltese Falcon as he was in another highly acclaimed Huston film, The African Queen, I think his performance was in the same neighborhood.
For someone like me who grew up in a house where “classics” were films from the 70’s, going to these films each week is a great film education. I’m catching up on many real classics during the last 2 years and there’s still a ton that I have to see. Next week’s film is another one I’ve never seen but I can’t wait to… North by Northwest by Hitchcock!
If you think that I may feel this way because I just saw that movie, you are correct. I went tonight as part of the UB film seminar and saw the classic film on the big screen. Once again the movie series provided another winner as it was easy to see why the film is as highly regarded as it is. The direction by legendary director John Huston, in his first film, was great plus nearly every main character was well played and worthy of praise. Bogart especially showed me a lot. I’ve only seen a handful of his films but with each additional one I see, the more I’m convinced of his greatness as an actor. While I don’t think he was as good in the Maltese Falcon as he was in another highly acclaimed Huston film, The African Queen, I think his performance was in the same neighborhood.
For someone like me who grew up in a house where “classics” were films from the 70’s, going to these films each week is a great film education. I’m catching up on many real classics during the last 2 years and there’s still a ton that I have to see. Next week’s film is another one I’ve never seen but I can’t wait to… North by Northwest by Hitchcock!
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
100 Blogs in 100 Days: (Day 55) - "Kicked in the Can"
Fresh off of a kickball beatdown I come to you a humbled guy. Strangely I went from feeling amazing physically on Saturday to feeling beat up and sore tonight. At some point in the game I found a way to sprain my back a bit and I hate when I do that because it hobbles me for days. I seem to tweak my back a few times a year and most of the time when it happens I cannot explain how I did it.
Speaking of back, the game was one of those I wish we had back. The other team wasn’t really that better than us and except for one forgettable inning the score would reflect that. We have this formula, this losing formula where we play pretty well for 6 out of the 7 innings but then there’s one inning where everything falls to pieces. It happened again this evening where suddenly we had trouble catching, throwing, and doing all the basics.
I like to take bad experiences and learn something from them but when the same thing happens to you over and over again, it can be a little frustrating. Actually my least favorite part of the game wasn’t the losing so much as being without our #1 fan. For those of you who don’t know, we would typically have a fan show up with bongos, a conga, a robot or who knows what and he’d play the drum and taunt the other team. It’s all done in a silly ridiculous manner so it’s usually not taken the wrong way save for one fiery redhead female who wanted to beat him up. Anyway, he can’t make it to any more of our games this season and as a possible result, we were really flat for the beginning of the game and now that I think of it, for most of it. It was the quietest kickball game I can remember.
We didn’t have the same energy as usual and it showed out there on the field. I for one would absorb the energy the bongos and cheering would bring and I am also one of those people who wasn’t feeling it in the game. I think I had my worst game of the season. I mean, I didn’t make any mistakes but I didn’t do anything good either.
I’m not making excuses though, we lost and we should be better than that but we weren’t. So now I’m laying it on the line. Next week we play a team called Gecko’s Fork to the Head and I am GUARANTEEING a Kickapotamus win! Come out to Delaware Park at 6pm next Monday and watch it go down!
Speaking of back, the game was one of those I wish we had back. The other team wasn’t really that better than us and except for one forgettable inning the score would reflect that. We have this formula, this losing formula where we play pretty well for 6 out of the 7 innings but then there’s one inning where everything falls to pieces. It happened again this evening where suddenly we had trouble catching, throwing, and doing all the basics.
I like to take bad experiences and learn something from them but when the same thing happens to you over and over again, it can be a little frustrating. Actually my least favorite part of the game wasn’t the losing so much as being without our #1 fan. For those of you who don’t know, we would typically have a fan show up with bongos, a conga, a robot or who knows what and he’d play the drum and taunt the other team. It’s all done in a silly ridiculous manner so it’s usually not taken the wrong way save for one fiery redhead female who wanted to beat him up. Anyway, he can’t make it to any more of our games this season and as a possible result, we were really flat for the beginning of the game and now that I think of it, for most of it. It was the quietest kickball game I can remember.
We didn’t have the same energy as usual and it showed out there on the field. I for one would absorb the energy the bongos and cheering would bring and I am also one of those people who wasn’t feeling it in the game. I think I had my worst game of the season. I mean, I didn’t make any mistakes but I didn’t do anything good either.
I’m not making excuses though, we lost and we should be better than that but we weren’t. So now I’m laying it on the line. Next week we play a team called Gecko’s Fork to the Head and I am GUARANTEEING a Kickapotamus win! Come out to Delaware Park at 6pm next Monday and watch it go down!
Sunday, September 12, 2010
100 Blogs in 100 Days: (Day 54) - "The Bills... more of the same"
The Buffalo Bills… where do I begin? Well it looks like they kicked off the 2010 season with a fiesta. The problem is they were partying like it was 2009. I had such high hopes because it was opening day, because they were at home and because there hasn’t been any Bills football since about 9 months ago. It’s hard not to be excited. The problem is that I know that this year’s team is among the worst in the league.
The Bills changed coaches, general manager and some players as well but when you need about 20 good players to walk through that door, it’s not going to happen overnight. They signed a few low cost free agents, drafted a handful of promising young guys but if you weren’t sure a lot more work was needed to resuscitate this franchise, today’s home opener against a mediocre Miami Dolphins team was all the proof we needed.
The Bills had countless chances to win this game. Their defense showed up and along with the loud, raucous crowd made things tough on Miami’s offense holding them time and time again, especially in the 2nd half when the sellout crowd was begging for some offense from the Bills. If I’m not mistaken the Bills went 3 and out at least 4 times in that pivotal 2nd half.
It really looked like a Bills home game from last year, 2008, 2007 and so on. The defense plays well and keeps us in it and if the offense can do ANYTHING, the win is there for the taking. In this case the offense did absolutely nothing and we lost a close one that didn’t feel as close as it ended up. I for one felt incredibly lucky all game, thinking I can’t believe we are this close to tying the game despite playing as badly as we did.
The worst part of all was that this team reverted back to its’ same boring, tired ways. It was the kind of game where, if it weren’t for the opening day juices and natural curiosity for what the team would look like this season, many fans could have fallen asleep. When C.J. Spiller was drafted and some people questioned the move because of the Bills other more pressing needs, owner Ralph Wilson said they drafted Spiller because he’s an explosive, exciting player and that’s what the team and the fans needed; some excitement. Well guess what? It’s going to take more than Spiller. He is undoubtedly a very fun player to watch but when your offensive line is suspect, your quarterback is completely afraid to throw downfield and the only thing the defense is worried about is the running game, it’s going to be very difficult to run the ball. They tried to get it to Spiller, especially early on but the whole gameplan was flawed.
It all comes down to one player; Bills quarterback Trent Edwards. Yes, he looked great during the preseason against the vanilla defenses and other team’s backups but in the regular season he regresses. He goes back to being Trentative. He’s petrified of throwing the ball down field and sometimes he’s scared to throw the ball altogether. You CANNOT win consistently in the NFL with a scared quarterback. This is a game of chances and risks and he won’t take any. It doesn’t matter if he has the smarts and the physical tools, if he doesn’t have the guts to be a winner, none of that other stuff matters.
It’s really unfortunate because the fans in attendance were amped up. I was amped up! The defense and many of the players gave a tremendous effort and to see him back there not willing to try to win this game for them, for us, is a damn shame. As you can tell I’m sick of Trent the quarterback. I’m done with him and I was really hoping that after last season we’d never have to watch him again. Unfortunately it looks like we’ll be stuck with him for one more year, but on the bright side this team isn’t ready to contend for the playoffs yet. He’s basically keeping us from being a middle of the pack team. Truth is there are still many holes on both lines, linebacker, tight end, receiver and of course quarterback. If you really want to get optimistic about losing, just think if we finish among the worst 2 or 3 teams in the league this year we’ll have an excellent chance at college quarterback Jake Locker in the 2011 draft. They say he’s better than any of the quarterback prospects who came out of college the past few years. He will certainly go first or second in the draft and if we finish with the worst record in the league, we’ll get the first pick.
In conclusion I say if you are going to lose, lose well. Go down with a fight. I can take the losing that’s going to be coming most of the time this season if the team is exciting and I feel like we are leaving it all on the field. What I can’t take is when most of the guys are giving it all they can and their supposed leader on the field is being a coward. I don’t think it’s fair. Next week is a trip to a very good Green Bay team and a big time ass whooping if they play the same game. I’m hoping this week’s game will serve as a wake up despite not having any reason based on the past to expect it to be. I’m hoping for an exciting game next week and not just from the Packers. That’s all us Bills fans have these days; hope.
The Bills changed coaches, general manager and some players as well but when you need about 20 good players to walk through that door, it’s not going to happen overnight. They signed a few low cost free agents, drafted a handful of promising young guys but if you weren’t sure a lot more work was needed to resuscitate this franchise, today’s home opener against a mediocre Miami Dolphins team was all the proof we needed.
The Bills had countless chances to win this game. Their defense showed up and along with the loud, raucous crowd made things tough on Miami’s offense holding them time and time again, especially in the 2nd half when the sellout crowd was begging for some offense from the Bills. If I’m not mistaken the Bills went 3 and out at least 4 times in that pivotal 2nd half.
It really looked like a Bills home game from last year, 2008, 2007 and so on. The defense plays well and keeps us in it and if the offense can do ANYTHING, the win is there for the taking. In this case the offense did absolutely nothing and we lost a close one that didn’t feel as close as it ended up. I for one felt incredibly lucky all game, thinking I can’t believe we are this close to tying the game despite playing as badly as we did.
The worst part of all was that this team reverted back to its’ same boring, tired ways. It was the kind of game where, if it weren’t for the opening day juices and natural curiosity for what the team would look like this season, many fans could have fallen asleep. When C.J. Spiller was drafted and some people questioned the move because of the Bills other more pressing needs, owner Ralph Wilson said they drafted Spiller because he’s an explosive, exciting player and that’s what the team and the fans needed; some excitement. Well guess what? It’s going to take more than Spiller. He is undoubtedly a very fun player to watch but when your offensive line is suspect, your quarterback is completely afraid to throw downfield and the only thing the defense is worried about is the running game, it’s going to be very difficult to run the ball. They tried to get it to Spiller, especially early on but the whole gameplan was flawed.
It all comes down to one player; Bills quarterback Trent Edwards. Yes, he looked great during the preseason against the vanilla defenses and other team’s backups but in the regular season he regresses. He goes back to being Trentative. He’s petrified of throwing the ball down field and sometimes he’s scared to throw the ball altogether. You CANNOT win consistently in the NFL with a scared quarterback. This is a game of chances and risks and he won’t take any. It doesn’t matter if he has the smarts and the physical tools, if he doesn’t have the guts to be a winner, none of that other stuff matters.
It’s really unfortunate because the fans in attendance were amped up. I was amped up! The defense and many of the players gave a tremendous effort and to see him back there not willing to try to win this game for them, for us, is a damn shame. As you can tell I’m sick of Trent the quarterback. I’m done with him and I was really hoping that after last season we’d never have to watch him again. Unfortunately it looks like we’ll be stuck with him for one more year, but on the bright side this team isn’t ready to contend for the playoffs yet. He’s basically keeping us from being a middle of the pack team. Truth is there are still many holes on both lines, linebacker, tight end, receiver and of course quarterback. If you really want to get optimistic about losing, just think if we finish among the worst 2 or 3 teams in the league this year we’ll have an excellent chance at college quarterback Jake Locker in the 2011 draft. They say he’s better than any of the quarterback prospects who came out of college the past few years. He will certainly go first or second in the draft and if we finish with the worst record in the league, we’ll get the first pick.
In conclusion I say if you are going to lose, lose well. Go down with a fight. I can take the losing that’s going to be coming most of the time this season if the team is exciting and I feel like we are leaving it all on the field. What I can’t take is when most of the guys are giving it all they can and their supposed leader on the field is being a coward. I don’t think it’s fair. Next week is a trip to a very good Green Bay team and a big time ass whooping if they play the same game. I’m hoping this week’s game will serve as a wake up despite not having any reason based on the past to expect it to be. I’m hoping for an exciting game next week and not just from the Packers. That’s all us Bills fans have these days; hope.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
100 Blogs in 100 Days: (Day 53) - "Music is Art, in brief"
This is going to be a short one due to fatigue but I had to write about the Music is Art festival. If you’ve never been it’s a 1 day, all day event where there’s 4 or 5 stages, a DJ area, art and more art all around. The taco truck was even there! I finally got to try a burrito from them and wow, it was great… even more than that, it was very reasonably priced.
The bands ranged from good to awful and I think I didn’t like most of them, but every once in a while I’d catch one I really liked. I did enjoy most of the attractions and art that was there. The energy of the thing was really cool. When I walked around, no matter where I went on the grounds, the energy felt good. Plus I love that it happens at the Albright Knox which provides almost as great a backdrop as the Park lake right across the street. I’m so grateful this festival goes on every year so I thank all the organizers.
In other news, we won our first football game of the season by quite a lot, and the Bills season opener is only a few hours away! Lets go Buffalo!
The bands ranged from good to awful and I think I didn’t like most of them, but every once in a while I’d catch one I really liked. I did enjoy most of the attractions and art that was there. The energy of the thing was really cool. When I walked around, no matter where I went on the grounds, the energy felt good. Plus I love that it happens at the Albright Knox which provides almost as great a backdrop as the Park lake right across the street. I’m so grateful this festival goes on every year so I thank all the organizers.
In other news, we won our first football game of the season by quite a lot, and the Bills season opener is only a few hours away! Lets go Buffalo!
Friday, September 10, 2010
100 Blogs in 100 Days: (Day 52) - "Am I Ready for Some Football?"
In just a few hours my football team Kung Fu Hustle will embark on our 8th season! With the way the last one ended you might be surprised to see us back out there but here we are ready to rumble. This year we’ve been moved to UB North up in Amherst instead of South Buffalo. The fields seem nicer, more even and the view out there is beautiful so it seems like things from a league perspective are looking up.
Speaking of which, last season was up and down to say the least. We continued along the same strange path we had established the season before that… we would elevate our game and beat the best teams in our division and then have tons of trouble with the ones towards the bottom of the barrel. Since our division now has no clear cut favorites in it, I wonder if it’s a good thing or bad thing.
Last year ended in such surreal fashion. We were in a playoff game and we jumped ahead 20-0. We were dominating this opponent. Everything was going our way and then… two of our players slammed into each other, one badly injuring his knee and the other suffering a broken face for lack of better terms. Both had to be helped off the field and suddenly we were 2 men short. I wasn’t even sure about continuing to play when one of my friends was pretty messed up and bleeding a lot on the sideline. We continued the game but it wasn’t right and we ended up losing by 2 points, something like 35-33. It was a sham and after the game I know a few of us were thinking if maybe that was it for our team.
Somewhere between then and now we decided we can’t go out like that. We are now 4 full seasons removed from our only division championship. That year everything clicked and most importantly I got to throw a long touchdown strike at Ralph Wilson Stadium in the title game! 3 seasons ago we lost in the title game while attempting to defend our title and the last 2 seasons our up and down squads have lost in the first round of the playoffs.
The thing about us is that you never know what to expect. That goes for on the field and off. Our teams have a high turnover rate each season, we have the experience and savvy to beat anyone and we are just as capable playing a brutally ugly brand of football as we are of playing so beautiful, you’d think it was art. This year we welcome more than a half dozen new players to replace about that many we’ve lost from last season. Are the new players better than the ones they’ve replaced? Well I guess time will tell but we like the new personnel. Only myself and the team captain have been there for all 8 seasons and we’ve seen many people come and go.
Speaking of the team captain, he, myself and another teammate will get to partake in our pregame ritual tomorrow morning before our first game. That consists of going to the very delicious Betty’s for breakfast before we head out to the field. The food is great, we talk about the forthcoming game and my friend gets to make eyes with the pretty waitress he has a thing for. You can get an order of fruit there which I absolutely love in the morning before a game. I’m going to do that and perhaps some French toast depending on what their specials are.
I’m almost as optimistic about our chances this season as I am about how great breakfast will be. As I said, there are no dominant teams in our division so tomorrow may very well be the first step to our 2nd division title… Wish us luck!
Speaking of which, last season was up and down to say the least. We continued along the same strange path we had established the season before that… we would elevate our game and beat the best teams in our division and then have tons of trouble with the ones towards the bottom of the barrel. Since our division now has no clear cut favorites in it, I wonder if it’s a good thing or bad thing.
Last year ended in such surreal fashion. We were in a playoff game and we jumped ahead 20-0. We were dominating this opponent. Everything was going our way and then… two of our players slammed into each other, one badly injuring his knee and the other suffering a broken face for lack of better terms. Both had to be helped off the field and suddenly we were 2 men short. I wasn’t even sure about continuing to play when one of my friends was pretty messed up and bleeding a lot on the sideline. We continued the game but it wasn’t right and we ended up losing by 2 points, something like 35-33. It was a sham and after the game I know a few of us were thinking if maybe that was it for our team.
Somewhere between then and now we decided we can’t go out like that. We are now 4 full seasons removed from our only division championship. That year everything clicked and most importantly I got to throw a long touchdown strike at Ralph Wilson Stadium in the title game! 3 seasons ago we lost in the title game while attempting to defend our title and the last 2 seasons our up and down squads have lost in the first round of the playoffs.
The thing about us is that you never know what to expect. That goes for on the field and off. Our teams have a high turnover rate each season, we have the experience and savvy to beat anyone and we are just as capable playing a brutally ugly brand of football as we are of playing so beautiful, you’d think it was art. This year we welcome more than a half dozen new players to replace about that many we’ve lost from last season. Are the new players better than the ones they’ve replaced? Well I guess time will tell but we like the new personnel. Only myself and the team captain have been there for all 8 seasons and we’ve seen many people come and go.
Speaking of the team captain, he, myself and another teammate will get to partake in our pregame ritual tomorrow morning before our first game. That consists of going to the very delicious Betty’s for breakfast before we head out to the field. The food is great, we talk about the forthcoming game and my friend gets to make eyes with the pretty waitress he has a thing for. You can get an order of fruit there which I absolutely love in the morning before a game. I’m going to do that and perhaps some French toast depending on what their specials are.
I’m almost as optimistic about our chances this season as I am about how great breakfast will be. As I said, there are no dominant teams in our division so tomorrow may very well be the first step to our 2nd division title… Wish us luck!
100 Blogs in 100 Days: (Day 51) - "Kevin Bacon wouldn't burn the Quran"
Today’s blog was going to be about the geniuses who were going to burn the Quran on Saturday but a funny thing happened, they changed their minds. Apparently someone told this pastor that the New York City mosque would be moved to a new location and then the pastor discovered that someone lied to him about it so now they were uncanceling the canceled event. Huh? He says that they will still burn the Quran but now it won’t be on Saturday but at a later date. So basically, they didn’t cancel the spectacle but have suspended it.
I was going to write about this demonstration today and state my opinion on the whole thing but with news coming in every hour today I don’t know what to say.
I am in agreement with the President, NYC mayor Bloomberg and countless others when I say that this pastor and this church certainly has the right to burn it. I will not dispute that. Many men and women have fought and many have died for that right. Now if this thing ever happens I wonder how many American men and women would die because of it. You don’t think our enemies aren’t salivating at the chance to use this display to inspire and rally even more people against us and our interests? Never mind the fact that radical Islamists do this type of thing all the time, if we did it, it would appear as if we were upping the ante.
When it comes to devotion to their god and their laws I can’t dispute that they win. I don’t hear of many Americans strapping a bomb to them and blowing up 50 people to make a statement. Being who I am and considering where I live I guess it’s no surprise I find this behavior to be mad. So while I’ll give it to them on devotion and discipline, I’ll also give it to them on being crazy.
That’s not to say we don’t have a few nutballs and religious zealots of our own. Hate + hate just equals more hate and I really don’t think putting on such a hateful display would help anyone other than terrorists, radicals and extremists. I thought we decided long ago that burning books was a bad idea. I mean Kevin Bacon danced his way to freedom over book burning, dance banning nutjobs over 25 years ago. You’d think the world would learn from it.
My opinion on religion has always been: believe what you want, enjoy yourself, good luck and peace with you, BUT please keep your religion to yourself. Take away all the posturing, divine messages and conjecture this is just another case of my god is better than your god and I’m so tired of it. Millions of people have died in this argument over dozens of centuries and it appears that in spite of Blackberrys, Electric Cars and Coke Zero, we really haven’t learned that much.
There is no right answer and even if there was, we’d never get everyone to agree. I wish we’d take all the resources and time wasted in fighting over who is right and use it to better humanity, like finding cures for diseases and other tangible things. Then we could all kick off our Sunday shoes. lose our blues and get footloose!
I was going to write about this demonstration today and state my opinion on the whole thing but with news coming in every hour today I don’t know what to say.
I am in agreement with the President, NYC mayor Bloomberg and countless others when I say that this pastor and this church certainly has the right to burn it. I will not dispute that. Many men and women have fought and many have died for that right. Now if this thing ever happens I wonder how many American men and women would die because of it. You don’t think our enemies aren’t salivating at the chance to use this display to inspire and rally even more people against us and our interests? Never mind the fact that radical Islamists do this type of thing all the time, if we did it, it would appear as if we were upping the ante.
When it comes to devotion to their god and their laws I can’t dispute that they win. I don’t hear of many Americans strapping a bomb to them and blowing up 50 people to make a statement. Being who I am and considering where I live I guess it’s no surprise I find this behavior to be mad. So while I’ll give it to them on devotion and discipline, I’ll also give it to them on being crazy.
That’s not to say we don’t have a few nutballs and religious zealots of our own. Hate + hate just equals more hate and I really don’t think putting on such a hateful display would help anyone other than terrorists, radicals and extremists. I thought we decided long ago that burning books was a bad idea. I mean Kevin Bacon danced his way to freedom over book burning, dance banning nutjobs over 25 years ago. You’d think the world would learn from it.
My opinion on religion has always been: believe what you want, enjoy yourself, good luck and peace with you, BUT please keep your religion to yourself. Take away all the posturing, divine messages and conjecture this is just another case of my god is better than your god and I’m so tired of it. Millions of people have died in this argument over dozens of centuries and it appears that in spite of Blackberrys, Electric Cars and Coke Zero, we really haven’t learned that much.
There is no right answer and even if there was, we’d never get everyone to agree. I wish we’d take all the resources and time wasted in fighting over who is right and use it to better humanity, like finding cures for diseases and other tangible things. Then we could all kick off our Sunday shoes. lose our blues and get footloose!
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
100 Blogs in 100 Days: (Day 50) - "Oh, We're Half Way There"
Opening up his 50th blog with a Bon Jovi lyric, what’s with this guy? As if someone as cool as Ed would type a blog about Bon Jovi, let alone quote their lyrics. I mean, really? Edwin would never write a blog on Bon Jovi… Wait for it… Yes he is!
It was the summer of 1987. My oldest friend came back form California and was living a few blocks away from me. I lived on Hudson really close to Wadsworth which was a block away from where Allen Street started. My friend lived on Mariner which is right off of Allen and probably less than a 10 minute walk away. The neighborhood was multi-cultural, which was a really cool thing that I’ve always been thankful for but it made it hard to make friends when you went against the grain. My friend and I were kind of outcasts. There were bullies all around who wanted to kick our behinds because we were different and we were considered dorks.
What that meant was that most times we hung out it would be at one person’s house or the other. It was summertime and everyone was out. I don’t know if it’s like this in richer neighborhoods or in the burbs but in our neighborhood, everyone was on their porches and the kids if not on the porch were in the street or at the nearby Days Park. No one stayed inside… after all, no one had air conditioning. The best way to stay cool was to be outside and maybe getting a garden hose or fire hydrant going.
When it came to who had the better street, my friend won. His street was more chill and more importantly than that, there were girls there! My block had a few girls, but none that we were interested in nor would be interested in us. So now that we had the spot we needed to bait our hooks. How would we lure them over? We needed some “game” to kick it to the ladies but unfortunately the only kind of game we had was maybe a little Dungeons and Dragons. Teenage girls have no love for wizards and even less love for hobgoblins.
Part of my dorky charm back then was my love for music. I often switched from one genre to the next and due to my youth I didn’t know I could like more than one at one time. By the summer of 1987 I was firmly entrenched in the MTV phase of my life. That means anything they played on MTV was the greatest thing ever. By 1987 new wave was getting pushed aside for hair metal and power ballads. While I know it’s not true now, back then MTV told me those things were way cooler than Thompson Twins, Duran Duran, Culture Club, the Cars and Howard Jones. I bought in even though they played Poison and Winger videos every 90 minutes or less.
I may not have known how to talk to women but I knew the international language of love; music. So every day that summer I played what I was into that I also knew the ladies would be into: Bon Jovi’s Slippery When Wet. We literally listened to it every single day, sometimes multiple times a day and god bless that Jon Bon Jovi because the girls came over and hung out. It wasn’t that I had some rare copy of the record, I mean it was the highest selling record of 1987, but when two hot guys are pumping Livin on a Prayer, the ladies can’t resist.
To this day I still know the words to most of that album. Plus although it’s not entirely cool to admit it, that’s one of the most important records to me in the course of my life. My friend hooked up with a very pretty girl that summer and I received one of my first real lessons with the women. It was an important summer in my history and Bon Jovi was the soundtrack. I guess the lesson here is that we gotta hold on to what we got… cause it doesn’t make a difference if we make it or not. We got each other and that’s a lot, for love… we’ll give it a shot.
It was the summer of 1987. My oldest friend came back form California and was living a few blocks away from me. I lived on Hudson really close to Wadsworth which was a block away from where Allen Street started. My friend lived on Mariner which is right off of Allen and probably less than a 10 minute walk away. The neighborhood was multi-cultural, which was a really cool thing that I’ve always been thankful for but it made it hard to make friends when you went against the grain. My friend and I were kind of outcasts. There were bullies all around who wanted to kick our behinds because we were different and we were considered dorks.
What that meant was that most times we hung out it would be at one person’s house or the other. It was summertime and everyone was out. I don’t know if it’s like this in richer neighborhoods or in the burbs but in our neighborhood, everyone was on their porches and the kids if not on the porch were in the street or at the nearby Days Park. No one stayed inside… after all, no one had air conditioning. The best way to stay cool was to be outside and maybe getting a garden hose or fire hydrant going.
When it came to who had the better street, my friend won. His street was more chill and more importantly than that, there were girls there! My block had a few girls, but none that we were interested in nor would be interested in us. So now that we had the spot we needed to bait our hooks. How would we lure them over? We needed some “game” to kick it to the ladies but unfortunately the only kind of game we had was maybe a little Dungeons and Dragons. Teenage girls have no love for wizards and even less love for hobgoblins.
Part of my dorky charm back then was my love for music. I often switched from one genre to the next and due to my youth I didn’t know I could like more than one at one time. By the summer of 1987 I was firmly entrenched in the MTV phase of my life. That means anything they played on MTV was the greatest thing ever. By 1987 new wave was getting pushed aside for hair metal and power ballads. While I know it’s not true now, back then MTV told me those things were way cooler than Thompson Twins, Duran Duran, Culture Club, the Cars and Howard Jones. I bought in even though they played Poison and Winger videos every 90 minutes or less.
I may not have known how to talk to women but I knew the international language of love; music. So every day that summer I played what I was into that I also knew the ladies would be into: Bon Jovi’s Slippery When Wet. We literally listened to it every single day, sometimes multiple times a day and god bless that Jon Bon Jovi because the girls came over and hung out. It wasn’t that I had some rare copy of the record, I mean it was the highest selling record of 1987, but when two hot guys are pumping Livin on a Prayer, the ladies can’t resist.
To this day I still know the words to most of that album. Plus although it’s not entirely cool to admit it, that’s one of the most important records to me in the course of my life. My friend hooked up with a very pretty girl that summer and I received one of my first real lessons with the women. It was an important summer in my history and Bon Jovi was the soundtrack. I guess the lesson here is that we gotta hold on to what we got… cause it doesn’t make a difference if we make it or not. We got each other and that’s a lot, for love… we’ll give it a shot.
100 Blogs in 100 Days: (Day 49) - "Always Looking For Something Better"
Recently I made the acquaintance of a guy named Chuck. Chuck is not the kind of guy I would be friends with. He’s in his late 40’s, maybe 50. He’s a conservative, doesn’t like music that came out after 1970 and likes to hunt and shoot animals. After talking to him long enough to find all those things out, I knew I wasn’t going to hit it off with this guy. We just didn’t have a lot in common. I diverted my attention to someone more interesting nearby.
Then a strange thing happened. I overheard Chuck talking about relationships. He talked about how he puts his women on a pedestal and because of this; the vast majority never seem good enough. He talked about the fickle reasons he’d use to rule someone out. He mentioned that sometimes it felt like he didn’t really want a relationship because of how picky he could be. He talked about sabotaging his own dates. By this time he noticed that I moved back over to where he was and was listening intently. He smiled and asked if I were a kindred spirit.
I revealed that I was and that I had been since my teen years. This surprised him. He told me that he became this way after he had a meaningful relationship with the girl of his dreams in his mid-20’s and when she left him, he found it hard to find anyone who could measure up to her. My reason for being so selective was based on a dream girl I’ve been dreaming about since I was in high school but had never met, let alone had a relationship with.
He laughed and informed me that I might be more hopeless than he is. He went on to warn me like the ghost of relationships past that I needed to change my ways. “You’re still young” he explained, “You still have time to connect with someone and be happy”. I wasn’t sure how I felt about what he was saying. Was he telling me to drop my standards? He above anyone should know how difficult that would be. When I find something less than I want, I don’t want it, not even a little bit. I can’t pretend when it comes to the heart and other people’s feelings. I couldn’t be with a beautiful woman who only did it for me physically. Before I could offer my skeptical retort he added; “Now I’m not saying that you should lower your expectations that much, but I think it’s important that you get the fantasy of the perfect woman out of your head. She doesn’t exist… and while you are spending all your time looking for this perfect woman, all of these really great woman are passing you by. Basically you gotta stop always looking for something better when you have something great right in front of you, because most times that’s the best we’ll ever get.”
He paused to let me absorb what he said. After a few seconds spent on his words I gave him a reassuring look and a slight nod. It was like I was writing down his words in my mind and I had just caught up. He continued; “I should know. I’ve been fixated on my fantasy for so long that I can never give myself to someone, at least not completely. I’m always partially into them and partially into someone who doesn’t exist anymore. How is that fair to the person I’m with? But I’ve blown it. Now I’m past my prime and it gets harder and harder to meet someone even halfway decent.” He sighed as if revealing that last bit of information hurt him to say. He stood there, silent and relieved as if he’d been waiting to give this speech to someone for a long time. I imagine what he said wasn’t easy for him to say and that it probably took a lot for him to admit he’s been wrong for so long. I didn’t ask him when he figured it all out or what triggered such knowledge and maybe I should have but he gave me plenty to ponder already.
I thanked him for his words and after giving him a firm and thankful handshake I turned to walk away. He had given me so much in only a few minutes and even though I could not completely agree with everything he said, I could not disagree with any of it either. He had been at it longer than I had and the more I thought about it, the more it scared me to think about becoming this man in 12-15 years. He had a point but I know myself. I know I won’t settle. Would I have to learn to settle for someone as he put it, really great instead of perfect? Before I was too far away Chuck called out to me one last time. He said; “Hey kid, one more thing… “Love isn't finding a perfect person. It's seeing an imperfect person perfectly.” I stopped in my tracks. That sounded so profound. I think he could see the impressed look on my face so he said the last thing he ever said to me; “Don’t worry kid, that’s not mine… but make it yours”.
Then a strange thing happened. I overheard Chuck talking about relationships. He talked about how he puts his women on a pedestal and because of this; the vast majority never seem good enough. He talked about the fickle reasons he’d use to rule someone out. He mentioned that sometimes it felt like he didn’t really want a relationship because of how picky he could be. He talked about sabotaging his own dates. By this time he noticed that I moved back over to where he was and was listening intently. He smiled and asked if I were a kindred spirit.
I revealed that I was and that I had been since my teen years. This surprised him. He told me that he became this way after he had a meaningful relationship with the girl of his dreams in his mid-20’s and when she left him, he found it hard to find anyone who could measure up to her. My reason for being so selective was based on a dream girl I’ve been dreaming about since I was in high school but had never met, let alone had a relationship with.
He laughed and informed me that I might be more hopeless than he is. He went on to warn me like the ghost of relationships past that I needed to change my ways. “You’re still young” he explained, “You still have time to connect with someone and be happy”. I wasn’t sure how I felt about what he was saying. Was he telling me to drop my standards? He above anyone should know how difficult that would be. When I find something less than I want, I don’t want it, not even a little bit. I can’t pretend when it comes to the heart and other people’s feelings. I couldn’t be with a beautiful woman who only did it for me physically. Before I could offer my skeptical retort he added; “Now I’m not saying that you should lower your expectations that much, but I think it’s important that you get the fantasy of the perfect woman out of your head. She doesn’t exist… and while you are spending all your time looking for this perfect woman, all of these really great woman are passing you by. Basically you gotta stop always looking for something better when you have something great right in front of you, because most times that’s the best we’ll ever get.”
He paused to let me absorb what he said. After a few seconds spent on his words I gave him a reassuring look and a slight nod. It was like I was writing down his words in my mind and I had just caught up. He continued; “I should know. I’ve been fixated on my fantasy for so long that I can never give myself to someone, at least not completely. I’m always partially into them and partially into someone who doesn’t exist anymore. How is that fair to the person I’m with? But I’ve blown it. Now I’m past my prime and it gets harder and harder to meet someone even halfway decent.” He sighed as if revealing that last bit of information hurt him to say. He stood there, silent and relieved as if he’d been waiting to give this speech to someone for a long time. I imagine what he said wasn’t easy for him to say and that it probably took a lot for him to admit he’s been wrong for so long. I didn’t ask him when he figured it all out or what triggered such knowledge and maybe I should have but he gave me plenty to ponder already.
I thanked him for his words and after giving him a firm and thankful handshake I turned to walk away. He had given me so much in only a few minutes and even though I could not completely agree with everything he said, I could not disagree with any of it either. He had been at it longer than I had and the more I thought about it, the more it scared me to think about becoming this man in 12-15 years. He had a point but I know myself. I know I won’t settle. Would I have to learn to settle for someone as he put it, really great instead of perfect? Before I was too far away Chuck called out to me one last time. He said; “Hey kid, one more thing… “Love isn't finding a perfect person. It's seeing an imperfect person perfectly.” I stopped in my tracks. That sounded so profound. I think he could see the impressed look on my face so he said the last thing he ever said to me; “Don’t worry kid, that’s not mine… but make it yours”.
Monday, September 6, 2010
100 Blogs in 100 Days: (Day 48) - "Alone"
It’s rare that my company gives me a holiday off. I think I only get 5 a year which is the minimum required number a company has to give in this state. I had the day all mapped out. It was going to be the best day off ever. I was going to start off with a trip to the zoo this morning and then I would take in Scott Pilgrim vs. the World for the 2nd time with someone who was going for their first. After that I was going to treat myself to dinner somewhere, whether it was me and some friends or just me alone. I was going to live it up on this rare day off.
The day started off ominously when my friend called to bail out on the zoo. I was thinking of bailing out too but if he was still going I definitely would have. I charged my camera and I was very excited about taking pictures of many of the animals and watching the kids getting excited over them. It brings back memories. I didn’t want to go by myself though and with the zoo now out of the picture, I took it easy and watched television until it was time to get ready for the movie.
I went down to the Market Arcade movie theater which is my favorite one in the city and I should also add the only one that still had the film playing in it. I was supposed to meet someone there but she didn’t show. I think there may have been a miscommunication of some sort but oh well, I was there and I couldn’t wait to see the film again. Once it started I felt so giddy. This is definitely one of the best films I’ve seen in years and I am so in love with it. As we got underway I noticed there were very few people in the theater with me. It was basically me and 8 other people. The fact that the 8 people were 4 couples was not lost on me. I was the only loner there. This would have made me feel sad but the movie had started and I got sucked in once again.
Did I mention yet how big of a crush I have on Ramona Flowers? She’s so pretty, stylish and mysterious. That’s a very sexy combination. Plus she has those big pretty eyes, so full of life and wonder. Big eyes can go one of two ways. They can go the big pretty Ramona Flowers way or the big creepy way. I love looking into big pretty eyes. You can get lost in there. It doesn’t matter what color they are.
Once the movie ended and I teared up a little bit at Scott and Ramona taking a chance together I looked around at all the couples. Two of them were snuggling and man was I jealous. I rose up and left before anyone else. On the one hand the amazing film got my emotions swirling. I’m a frequent and vivid dreamer and that film is about a man finding his dream girl while living in what seemed like a dream world. I relate to it so easily. On the other once the reality returned and the credits began to roll I felt very alone.
On a purely critical note about the movie, it was just like the first time… after it ended I wanted to see it again right then and there. The imagery and style of the film floors me and makes me giddy like a schoolgirl. I want to see it again but it’s only at the Market Arcade, Transit Regal and the Drive in, and that may only last until Thursday. Maybe I’ll do it Thursday night.
After I left the theater it was getting near 4pm. The sun was out and there was a nice breeze. My mind was flooded with thoughts, ideas and dreams. I had so much going on. I decided at that point to walk home. It would be a long walk but it would be a good walk. I made my way north toward home and I let my mind go to work. I took side streets and quiet streets so I would have less interruptions and distractions.
I thought about how much I loved that film and how much my life is empty without my Ramona Flowers. What a thrill it is to rise in the morning knowing you are loved and that you love. What a thrill it is to spend parts of your day thinking of ways to show them that love. What a thrill it must be to see their love in response to yours. My capacity to love and give is so deep but I hate that I’m wasting away and I don’t get to tap into that vast well of goodness.
I had so much on my mind during the walk back I didn’t even go to my mp3 player right away. For the first time ever I thought about moving away. I love my hometown and I have friends and relatives here I care about very much but my life is so empty and alone. I wonder if my life will always be this way. I mean, you’ll never find anyone with more hope and realistic optimism than me but I’ve been wishing and hoping for a few decades now with very little to show for it. I’m not saying I plan to move away but due to my perpetual loneliness the thought has now crossed my mind.
I thought it was going to take me about an hour to get home from downtown but surprisingly I made it in less than 40 minutes. When I made it to within a few blocks of my place I decided I needed to keep walking so I did. I wandered around my neighborhood a little until finally I became thirsty and instead of spending dinero on agua from some nearby store I remembered I had Gatorade and Aquafina at home so I finally broke down and returned there.
Once I sat down I started to write. I wrote poems, I wrote about an idea and I started this. I felt bummed out, so much so that I turned down an invitation to go out for dinner from a friend. Instead I sat alone and thought. I thought and then I over thought. My mood went from bad to worse and then I did the ultimate wrong, I ordered food. I ate some bad food and I ate a lot of it. While I did I felt good for that 15-20 minutes but shortly afterwards I regretted it. Maybe if I hadn’t been alone I wouldn’t have committed such an act. I probably should have accepted my friend’s invitation.
Feeling guilty about it I went out this evening and I walked some more. I walked all over the parkways and quiet streets with music pumping in my ears and my legs full of energy. I walked around for an hour straight and when I returned home I still felt guilty but this was a change in me. If I had ate really badly before I would have just sat there and hated myself for the duration of the day and maybe the next one too. Tonight all I wanted to do was get outside and walk for a long time. I don’t know if I burned off all the excess calories I took in but it was certainly better than sitting around being mad at myself.
Tomorrow is a new day and I will start again to eat responsibly but today was a reminder of my weakness and what can happen to me when I get really sad. I know I’ll be okay again in a few days but I’d feel better a lot faster if I wasn’t alone.
The day started off ominously when my friend called to bail out on the zoo. I was thinking of bailing out too but if he was still going I definitely would have. I charged my camera and I was very excited about taking pictures of many of the animals and watching the kids getting excited over them. It brings back memories. I didn’t want to go by myself though and with the zoo now out of the picture, I took it easy and watched television until it was time to get ready for the movie.
I went down to the Market Arcade movie theater which is my favorite one in the city and I should also add the only one that still had the film playing in it. I was supposed to meet someone there but she didn’t show. I think there may have been a miscommunication of some sort but oh well, I was there and I couldn’t wait to see the film again. Once it started I felt so giddy. This is definitely one of the best films I’ve seen in years and I am so in love with it. As we got underway I noticed there were very few people in the theater with me. It was basically me and 8 other people. The fact that the 8 people were 4 couples was not lost on me. I was the only loner there. This would have made me feel sad but the movie had started and I got sucked in once again.
Did I mention yet how big of a crush I have on Ramona Flowers? She’s so pretty, stylish and mysterious. That’s a very sexy combination. Plus she has those big pretty eyes, so full of life and wonder. Big eyes can go one of two ways. They can go the big pretty Ramona Flowers way or the big creepy way. I love looking into big pretty eyes. You can get lost in there. It doesn’t matter what color they are.
Once the movie ended and I teared up a little bit at Scott and Ramona taking a chance together I looked around at all the couples. Two of them were snuggling and man was I jealous. I rose up and left before anyone else. On the one hand the amazing film got my emotions swirling. I’m a frequent and vivid dreamer and that film is about a man finding his dream girl while living in what seemed like a dream world. I relate to it so easily. On the other once the reality returned and the credits began to roll I felt very alone.
On a purely critical note about the movie, it was just like the first time… after it ended I wanted to see it again right then and there. The imagery and style of the film floors me and makes me giddy like a schoolgirl. I want to see it again but it’s only at the Market Arcade, Transit Regal and the Drive in, and that may only last until Thursday. Maybe I’ll do it Thursday night.
After I left the theater it was getting near 4pm. The sun was out and there was a nice breeze. My mind was flooded with thoughts, ideas and dreams. I had so much going on. I decided at that point to walk home. It would be a long walk but it would be a good walk. I made my way north toward home and I let my mind go to work. I took side streets and quiet streets so I would have less interruptions and distractions.
I thought about how much I loved that film and how much my life is empty without my Ramona Flowers. What a thrill it is to rise in the morning knowing you are loved and that you love. What a thrill it is to spend parts of your day thinking of ways to show them that love. What a thrill it must be to see their love in response to yours. My capacity to love and give is so deep but I hate that I’m wasting away and I don’t get to tap into that vast well of goodness.
I had so much on my mind during the walk back I didn’t even go to my mp3 player right away. For the first time ever I thought about moving away. I love my hometown and I have friends and relatives here I care about very much but my life is so empty and alone. I wonder if my life will always be this way. I mean, you’ll never find anyone with more hope and realistic optimism than me but I’ve been wishing and hoping for a few decades now with very little to show for it. I’m not saying I plan to move away but due to my perpetual loneliness the thought has now crossed my mind.
I thought it was going to take me about an hour to get home from downtown but surprisingly I made it in less than 40 minutes. When I made it to within a few blocks of my place I decided I needed to keep walking so I did. I wandered around my neighborhood a little until finally I became thirsty and instead of spending dinero on agua from some nearby store I remembered I had Gatorade and Aquafina at home so I finally broke down and returned there.
Once I sat down I started to write. I wrote poems, I wrote about an idea and I started this. I felt bummed out, so much so that I turned down an invitation to go out for dinner from a friend. Instead I sat alone and thought. I thought and then I over thought. My mood went from bad to worse and then I did the ultimate wrong, I ordered food. I ate some bad food and I ate a lot of it. While I did I felt good for that 15-20 minutes but shortly afterwards I regretted it. Maybe if I hadn’t been alone I wouldn’t have committed such an act. I probably should have accepted my friend’s invitation.
Feeling guilty about it I went out this evening and I walked some more. I walked all over the parkways and quiet streets with music pumping in my ears and my legs full of energy. I walked around for an hour straight and when I returned home I still felt guilty but this was a change in me. If I had ate really badly before I would have just sat there and hated myself for the duration of the day and maybe the next one too. Tonight all I wanted to do was get outside and walk for a long time. I don’t know if I burned off all the excess calories I took in but it was certainly better than sitting around being mad at myself.
Tomorrow is a new day and I will start again to eat responsibly but today was a reminder of my weakness and what can happen to me when I get really sad. I know I’ll be okay again in a few days but I’d feel better a lot faster if I wasn’t alone.
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