As the days led up to my annual return at WBNY’s Alumni Weekend I felt the butterflies multiplying. Even at my peak when I did 3-4 shows a week I would always be nervous before each show. I was nervous because I am a person who worries. I’m always thinking and always trying to lay out the 5 minutes in front of me. I want to do well and more importantly I don’t want to mess up. Never mind the fact that college radio is generally pretty silly and mistakes happen all the time. College radio at it’s essence is a “great” mistake.
I’m sure it still applies but back in the day some shows were known more for what went wrong than for what went right. I always wanted it to be right. I was a bit of a perfectionist. I wanted good albeit non-commercial, rebellious mic breaks that flowed without stumbling on any words. I wanted tight transitions from song to song, song to commercials and vice versa. On occasion I accomplished this. Once in a while I did a show where nothing went wrong and I’d feel a great deal of satisfaction. Other times the mistakes would be quite minor and I could convince myself the pros outweighed the cons but there were other times where something would not work out, or I didn’t do something very well and it would bother me for a bit until I realized how I could learn from it. It’s this internal competitiveness I have. I want to be the best I can at the things I’m throwing myself into. It doesn’t run externally. I never compared myself to the other shows. I just tried to live up to my own standards.
This week I felt some of the same concerns and expectations pull me. I’m the guy who’d used to have so much of my shows planned out. Not so much on the music end but on the production end, talking, commercials, writing, etc. Coming into this week I wanted the show to be big. I wanted to create some new commercials for this year. I wanted to dress up the show with production work and writing. I wanted to put together many note cards with topics, ideas and things I wanted to cover in my mic breaks. But something inside me, maybe wisdom, intervened and instead of trying to be something extraordinary and putting the weight of a moment on my shoulders I would just be. I was just going to show up with hopefully a few friends in tow, relax and simply enjoy something I love to do. I would wing it the whole show. I knew how to do it. I knew how to identify the station regularly on breaks, plug the alumni weekend, talk about the other shows and give the audience the information it needed. Despite my amateur status I’ve always had the instincts of a pro.
Saturday came and went and I did indeed go with the “wing it” approach and you know what? It was fine. I wasn’t perfect on the mic. There were about 60 songs I wished I could have played and there are things I wished I had done before the show to help enhance it but I’m okay with it. Just “be”. I had a bunch of friends come out to meet me a few hours before the show and many of them accompanied me to the air studio for a large chunk of my overnight madness. We drank beer and wine and laughed and danced. I had so much fun and having friends out there with me helped me to get out of my head and let go.
Sunday came with a slight hangover and some great feelings. I say that my 2011 Alumni Weekend radio show and adventure was a success and I also say it was as much thanks to you as it was to me. Thank you my friends near and far for all the love. I find myself doing all these crazy things and going on all these silly adventures making films, reading poetry, doing radio shows, creating and handing out mixtapes and who knows what else and time after time when I put myself out there my friends are there to support me. It gives me joy and strength and the passion inside of me to create, to imagine, to climb and to go for it burns brighter all the time knowing I have a solid foundation of people behind me. Thank you!
Monday, April 18, 2011
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
"Flake Break"
The light snow and chilly air today has made many people around me a bit grumpy, a little depressed or even outright mad. I say don't fret. Think of the snow like the novelty it is. Today could have been the last time it snows until next fall. Even if it is not, the occasions we get snow in the near future will be quite rare. I say enjoy it like you did in November when the first few flakes hit the ground. Enjoy the beauty, enjoy the novelty. Here is a poem I wrote today during my lunch break about why it is silly to care.
"Flake Break"
a silly poem by Edwin Gomez:
I look out the window and I see something wrong
The heavens turned white and the day looks like night
The numbers on the wall say this doesn’t belong
An optimistic party crashed without a proper invite
I would normally be upset by such disrespect
She’s too stubborn to go on her annual vacation
Instead she’s pushing for warnings to be in effect
In a mean spirited final act of desperation
Temporary goosebumps can’t turn back time
Days like these are few and far between
Snowflakes are falling but face an uphill climb
As the world around us returns to green
I know its cliché but tomorrow’s only a day’s wait
And it’s a comfort to know the flakes are fleeting
Gone are the times where we need to hibernate
Gone are the days of a bright two foot beating
So do not despair when the sky acts without reason
Pushing us to the brink of taking more than we can take
Welcome to the last snowfall of the season
Welcome to the 6 month flake break
We’ve sprung ahead and you can’t beat the clock
It will soon be time for people watch and flip flops
Get ready the picnics, bike trips and sunblock
Snow be damned, the springtime can’t be stopped
"Flake Break"
a silly poem by Edwin Gomez:
I look out the window and I see something wrong
The heavens turned white and the day looks like night
The numbers on the wall say this doesn’t belong
An optimistic party crashed without a proper invite
I would normally be upset by such disrespect
She’s too stubborn to go on her annual vacation
Instead she’s pushing for warnings to be in effect
In a mean spirited final act of desperation
Temporary goosebumps can’t turn back time
Days like these are few and far between
Snowflakes are falling but face an uphill climb
As the world around us returns to green
I know its cliché but tomorrow’s only a day’s wait
And it’s a comfort to know the flakes are fleeting
Gone are the times where we need to hibernate
Gone are the days of a bright two foot beating
So do not despair when the sky acts without reason
Pushing us to the brink of taking more than we can take
Welcome to the last snowfall of the season
Welcome to the 6 month flake break
We’ve sprung ahead and you can’t beat the clock
It will soon be time for people watch and flip flops
Get ready the picnics, bike trips and sunblock
Snow be damned, the springtime can’t be stopped
Friday, April 1, 2011
Excited (4-1-11)
I’m so excited!
As March departs and April arrives I feel like I have an itch in my soul. I’m antsy and my energy is way up. I’m excited about life and what wonderful things are around corners and behind doors. So why not elaborate?
Some of the things I am excited about:
-Sabres hockey. With only 5 games left in the season and the playoffs on the line, every game has become huge. I watched the Rangers game Wednesday night at Goodbar and it almost felt like a playoff game there. Most of the time I’m watching games at Caffe Aroma but I’ll watch them anywhere, especially if friends come out. Tomorrow and Sunday night I’m planning to watch both at Aroma but I can be persuaded to go anywhere else if asked. But hey, Aroma’s not a bad place to watch the games, except they don’t play the game audio and there usually aren’t too many people there to watch the game.
Also yesterday marked opening day for baseball and I’m thrilled to have my Yankees back. Since there are 162 games in a season I won’t be watching every single one but it’s great to know they are there. Baseball games are great background noise when doing something else and they are great low key things to watch when nothing is on or when I am tired and just want to relax. The Yankees are not favored this year because other big name teams signed and traded for some big names but you can never count out the pinstripes!
Speaking of sports my mind is on my upcoming sports season. There have been years where I’ve played on 2-3 softball teams, a football team and either a kickball or volleyball team but in my old age I’m pulling back, haha! Actually I want to focus more on fitness so I am going to try to run/jog at least 5 days a week. I will still play kickball on Mondays and football on Saturdays. Plus we’ll sprinkle in some yoga from time to time and I won’t say never on joining one more team but for now I am content. Rather than play all the sports I can I want to get myself in the best shape of my life. Wouldn’t it be something to be in better shape in my mid-30’s than I was in my mid 20’s? Well, that’s the goal.
-My Health. I’m excited about trying to be healthier. I’m excited about the prospects of finally being healthy. The past few months haven’t made it easy with the serious ankle problem and now with the bronchitis lingering which has kept me down the past few weeks. On the bright side I feel really good physically with football starting in a week or 2 and kickball in 5 weeks. I just have to get my stamina up if my lungs will allow it.
-Poetry: Monday night is next open mic at Caffe Aroma and I am elated! It was so much fun last time to read my work and the rush and love I felt was incredible. I hope we get more poets than last time and we should because the weather will be better and this will be the 2nd one. I’ve been working on poems and so far I have at least 2 new ones to read there with hopefully another 1 or 2 to add to that by the end of the weekend.
Also poetry related is the coming of Buddy Wakefield to Babeville on April 27th. If you don’t know who he is, Buddy is a dynamic poet who has competed and won national competitions. His style is more poetry slam/performance poetry based so that makes it even cooler to go see him live. I’m definitely going to this so if you want to join me, let me know.
My calendar is filling up fast with things to do, it’s like I’m upping the ante on activities with more going on and more going out. There’s a lot to do and Buffalo like me seems to be coming out of its’ winter hibernation. Great concerts are coming up, fun cultural series are starting back up and my desire to get out and see it all is ramped up by snow free sidewalks and sunshine. I know it isn’t warm all the time yet but you gotta take the good with the bad.
Speaking of when you have to take the good and the bad.
The good: Tonight I am going out to a friend’s art opening as part of First Friday around Allentown and then I’m seeing another friend’s band play their first ever show at Nietzsche’s.
The bad: On Wednesday night my travels took me to Mister Goodbar where I took in their open mic comedy night for the first time. While I saw a few good performers I also happened to see the worst comedian I’ve ever seen. It’s not even close. Now this guy brought a dozen people out to watch him and they were quite enthusiastic but not even their energy could save this guy.
He told jokes that weren’t jokes. He bragged about the size of his manhood on a few occasions. He put down women and called them bitches. He talked of his dream of teaching a black person to dance and he spoke of the ghetto… even though he is white and grew up on the west side. Hey, I grew up on the lower west side. I had friends get killed, saw my share of roaches and did some rather stupid things for stupid reasons but guess what: it was a mostly poor neighborhood. It wasn’t the ghetto. White people need to stop talking about everything ghetto. Your ghetto privileges are over. Where was I? He had the confidence of a seasoned comic but the material of an 8 year old… that wasn’t funny. It was his first time so I was willing to give him a pass but he was the worst comic I’ve ever seen. It was like the Jersey shore showed up at open mic night and thought it was funny.
Actually the more that I think about it, I’m glad I saw him. I didn’t have a “worst comic” in my memory. Now the bar has been set. So maybe it wasn’t all bad after all. In fact I think it’s all good.
As March departs and April arrives I feel like I have an itch in my soul. I’m antsy and my energy is way up. I’m excited about life and what wonderful things are around corners and behind doors. So why not elaborate?
Some of the things I am excited about:
-Sabres hockey. With only 5 games left in the season and the playoffs on the line, every game has become huge. I watched the Rangers game Wednesday night at Goodbar and it almost felt like a playoff game there. Most of the time I’m watching games at Caffe Aroma but I’ll watch them anywhere, especially if friends come out. Tomorrow and Sunday night I’m planning to watch both at Aroma but I can be persuaded to go anywhere else if asked. But hey, Aroma’s not a bad place to watch the games, except they don’t play the game audio and there usually aren’t too many people there to watch the game.
Also yesterday marked opening day for baseball and I’m thrilled to have my Yankees back. Since there are 162 games in a season I won’t be watching every single one but it’s great to know they are there. Baseball games are great background noise when doing something else and they are great low key things to watch when nothing is on or when I am tired and just want to relax. The Yankees are not favored this year because other big name teams signed and traded for some big names but you can never count out the pinstripes!
Speaking of sports my mind is on my upcoming sports season. There have been years where I’ve played on 2-3 softball teams, a football team and either a kickball or volleyball team but in my old age I’m pulling back, haha! Actually I want to focus more on fitness so I am going to try to run/jog at least 5 days a week. I will still play kickball on Mondays and football on Saturdays. Plus we’ll sprinkle in some yoga from time to time and I won’t say never on joining one more team but for now I am content. Rather than play all the sports I can I want to get myself in the best shape of my life. Wouldn’t it be something to be in better shape in my mid-30’s than I was in my mid 20’s? Well, that’s the goal.
-My Health. I’m excited about trying to be healthier. I’m excited about the prospects of finally being healthy. The past few months haven’t made it easy with the serious ankle problem and now with the bronchitis lingering which has kept me down the past few weeks. On the bright side I feel really good physically with football starting in a week or 2 and kickball in 5 weeks. I just have to get my stamina up if my lungs will allow it.
-Poetry: Monday night is next open mic at Caffe Aroma and I am elated! It was so much fun last time to read my work and the rush and love I felt was incredible. I hope we get more poets than last time and we should because the weather will be better and this will be the 2nd one. I’ve been working on poems and so far I have at least 2 new ones to read there with hopefully another 1 or 2 to add to that by the end of the weekend.
Also poetry related is the coming of Buddy Wakefield to Babeville on April 27th. If you don’t know who he is, Buddy is a dynamic poet who has competed and won national competitions. His style is more poetry slam/performance poetry based so that makes it even cooler to go see him live. I’m definitely going to this so if you want to join me, let me know.
My calendar is filling up fast with things to do, it’s like I’m upping the ante on activities with more going on and more going out. There’s a lot to do and Buffalo like me seems to be coming out of its’ winter hibernation. Great concerts are coming up, fun cultural series are starting back up and my desire to get out and see it all is ramped up by snow free sidewalks and sunshine. I know it isn’t warm all the time yet but you gotta take the good with the bad.
Speaking of when you have to take the good and the bad.
The good: Tonight I am going out to a friend’s art opening as part of First Friday around Allentown and then I’m seeing another friend’s band play their first ever show at Nietzsche’s.
The bad: On Wednesday night my travels took me to Mister Goodbar where I took in their open mic comedy night for the first time. While I saw a few good performers I also happened to see the worst comedian I’ve ever seen. It’s not even close. Now this guy brought a dozen people out to watch him and they were quite enthusiastic but not even their energy could save this guy.
He told jokes that weren’t jokes. He bragged about the size of his manhood on a few occasions. He put down women and called them bitches. He talked of his dream of teaching a black person to dance and he spoke of the ghetto… even though he is white and grew up on the west side. Hey, I grew up on the lower west side. I had friends get killed, saw my share of roaches and did some rather stupid things for stupid reasons but guess what: it was a mostly poor neighborhood. It wasn’t the ghetto. White people need to stop talking about everything ghetto. Your ghetto privileges are over. Where was I? He had the confidence of a seasoned comic but the material of an 8 year old… that wasn’t funny. It was his first time so I was willing to give him a pass but he was the worst comic I’ve ever seen. It was like the Jersey shore showed up at open mic night and thought it was funny.
Actually the more that I think about it, I’m glad I saw him. I didn’t have a “worst comic” in my memory. Now the bar has been set. So maybe it wasn’t all bad after all. In fact I think it’s all good.
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