What does balance mean to you? Do you think of tightrope walking? Money? A balanced diet? Sneakers with an “N” on them? An energy bar? Consistency? Equality? People often speak of maintaining balance between work and play, healthy food and sweets, sadness and happiness and who knows what else. Whatever balance means to you, ideally it’s a positive thing.
“Be aware of wonder. Live a balanced life - learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some” -Robert Fulghum
I’m a strong believer in the balance of life. I mean that as more than professional balance, I’m talking emotional balance, life balance and the universal balance that exists all around us. My definition of balance is not too unlike what some people define as karma, except I’m not trying to be Zen or Buddhist. I’m just trying to be me. I’m trying to be the best me I can be. Instead of subscribing to one philosophy of thought, I like to combine many philosophies to create my own super philosophy. What I want to do is bring balance to my universe.
It’s not perfect. There are obstacles in the way of balance, no matter what type of balance you are seeking. Life tests and challenges us. There’s bad luck, unfortunate circumstances and also big stress. I feel like we can control a lot more than we think we can but sometimes something comes up and throws our balance into jeopardy. I think I keep an even, mindful keel about 90 percent of the time. I’m smiling, I’m thinking and I am certainly enjoying. That other 10% of the time I’m dealing with stress and my emotions. I know I am emotional and I don’t apologize for it or regret it. I don’t do anything hurtful to people because of it. I pretty much internalize my feelings and hide them from the world. Because of this, those emotions can hinder the pursuit for balance but at the same time those deep emotions make me feel so alive. So it’s all good.
“Evermore in the world is this marvelous balance of beauty and disgust, magnificence and rats.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson
I have my good days, bad days, easy days and tough days. Like I said, it’s all good. Life can’t be all sunny days and if they were, how would you even know what a sunny day was? Yep, I’m talking about necessary evil. You need dark to know light. You need clouds to know sunshine. I guess the key is to have more sunny days than cloudy ones and perhaps balance plays a big role in achieving that. If we get enough play to balance out that work, we are happy. At least that works for me.
Happiness is what I’m always seeking. I still get giddy over a lot of things. I get giddy over a nice surprise, meeting people, pretty women, cute pets, touchdowns, anticipating, a nice cool breeze, comfortable sneakers and on and on. Sometimes I see people with something awesome in their midst and they are ambivalent about it. Inside I am going bananas thinking how can you not feel crazy amounts of joy over that thing? But everyone is different and I’m not trying to tell anyone else how to live. So again I internalize. I just get really happy sometimes and I love it.
Sadness is unavoidable for me. I’m sensitive and I hurt deep and easy. If a friend blows me off I get very sad and upset. When a person rejects me I feel like the world has come crashing down… at least for a little while. Sometimes I get sad about some minor thing and friends give me looks like, why are you so bummed out about that? I get it but I can’t deny who I am. I just get really sad sometimes and for better or worse I love it.
“The word 'happiness' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness” -Carl Gustav Jung
In my relationships, whether its friends or lovers I need to have balance. I need to have a balance of give and take. I’m not saying I need to take things from people close to me, I’m just saying that I give a lot to people I care about and for me to feel content with the relationship I need them to give back to me. It can be attention, affection, love, concern, support, ideas and many other wonderful things. It certainly does not have to be tangible but it has to be there. Regardless of my experiences, I think any healthy relationship requires balance. It can be tough for me though because I give so much that many times people cannot or will not reciprocate and it makes me feel exposed and hurt and leads to a feeling of mistrust of that person. Eventually I distance myself from them and before too long, they’re gone. Things just got too unbalanced.
“The best and safest thing is to keep a balance in your life, acknowledge the great powers around us and in us. If you can do that, and live that way, you are really a wise man.” - Euripides
I don’t claim to have answers, even in regards to my own life but I think finding balance puts me on the right track. I need to find balance in my ratio of work and play, my diet, my exercise, my relationships and my world around me and I think that those answers, at least the ones for me, will start to materialize and bring balance to my life.
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