I sat in front of the computer and turned my head to the right so I could see the time and room temperature on my little all purpose gizmo. I called the Cable Company on Monday night hoping to get my internet and cable restored the next day. When the representative mentioned they had nothing until Wednesday the 2nd I was a little bummed. He asked whether I’d want an early or late appointment on Wednesday and at the time the news predicted an awful snow/ice storm for Tuesday overnight and Wednesday. Two things crossed my mind; the first is that I need my service back on as soon as possible and second, what happens if the conditions outside are so bad by late Wednesday that they can’t make it? I’ve never heard of the cable company taking a snow day but I didn’t want to be the first either.
I was offered 8-10am or 8-Noon. I picked 8-Noon and I have no idea why but I think I had a reason at the time. Speaking of the time, it was after 10am and there was still no word from them. There was a good 6 inches of snow on the ground already from the night before and it was still coming down. I went out to shovel my stairs and the little walkway from the driveway to my door a few times anticipating the cable person’s arrival. When I did I could feel that my ankle was starting to get pretty sore. Back on the Monday I woke up and it hurt a little. My best guess as to how I did it was I must’ve twisted it a bit in my sleep. Also with it snowing every other day if not every day, the ground was slippery, sloppy and uneven. On my walk to work I’d say maybe 1 in 20 houses will actually shovel right after a storm. Another 6-7 might shovel in the day or so after that. The remaining houses don’t shovel at all. It irks me to no end because with my flat feet and clumsy ways I find myself semi-rolling my ankles a lot on the sometimes hard, sometimes soft but always lumpy leftovers underneath my feet. Lumpy terrain is not good for ankles.
Most of the time when I roll my ankle part of the way, I don’t feel it that much but occasionally if I roll it far enough I can “tweak” it, meaning it might hurt or feel tender for a day or two. This was a little bit worse than any of those scenarios. It felt like a mild twist on Monday but then 2 days later, it was affecting the way I walked. It was growing very sore. After I finished shoveling my steps I returned the shovel to the garage and then went back up my stairs to go inside but I had to slow down as my ankle made it that I could only take one step at time. I’d raise my good foot up to the next step and then meet it with the bad one and start again. When I cannot even alternate steps, then I know there’s a problem.
The cable guy finally showed just after eleven and he had some work cut out for him. My entire line from the pole to the side of my place was bad and he said he had to install a whole new line/cable. With the weather as crappy as it was I felt badly for him. Every once in a while I’d peek out the window to see the guy on the pole or the cables bobbing as they were being worked on. It took over 2 hours for him to complete the work and when he did I was running extra late but I had to hang out for a little bit to enjoy the fruits of his labor. I told my boss I’d be in a little after noon but it was a little after one and now that I had the internet and the clearest picture on my television that I’ve had in a year I had to hang back and flip through a few channels while checking email. You know, just to make sure. ;)
I hopped on the bus and made it to work before 2. I was going to have to make up the time I missed that morning by staying until 8 that night and then coming in for a few extra hours on the weekend but it didn’t quite work out that way.
By quarter after 6 I started to feel run down and my ankle was throbbing. I wasn’t going to make it to 8. I checked the bus schedule but after realizing I had just missed a bus and the next one wasn’t coming for half an hour I made a fateful choice. I thought, despite the foot of fresh snow on the ground and my fading ankle I could still make it home in 20 minutes or less. Why wait a half hour when I could be home with my feet up by then? With my logic rationalized I put on my coat and gloves and punched out for the night. I began the walk home muttering through my teeth when I had to walk past a house that didn’t shovel which meant I was muttering often. These houses hadn’t shoveled when it snowed a few days prior so the loose stuff was just a sloppy, slushy cover over a few more inches of packed down, uneven hard ice-like stuff. Walking through it was a laborious and painful chore.
As I made it to Gates Circle which I usually consider to be the halfway point of the journey I knew it was a mistake to have walked it but by then I had already bought in. I was only a few blocks from home and in 10 minutes I could put my feet up and relax. I marched forward with the mutters turning into outright talking. No one was around so I could talk to myself and not be judged but I might have barked out things even if there were passersby. When I reached my corner my ankle was screaming at me and although I don’t speak ankle it was pretty clear what it was saying.
That last block was the quickest and the toughest. I marched down the block with great energy but I’m not sure all that energy was positive. By then the anger of the conditions outside and my pain were getting to me. I pushed hard through the loose snow and put even more pressure on my foot. Plus I’ve always had a habit of finishing strong when I do finish. I could go on a 10 mile walk and while I could be dragging by mile 8 or 9 when I find out I’m on mile 10, or when I can see the finish line it’s like a second wind takes over and propels me there faster and with more purpose than I thought I had. It’s this principle that fills me with can do spirit and convinces me my energy reservoirs are deeper than fuller than I ever think they are.
I pushed through the snow and I looked down at my sore left foot. I was walking with it almost completely sideways and I told myself just a few more houses and everything will be fine. I ended up lying to myself but not out of deceit. It was more out of ignorance as I had no idea what was to happen next.
I sat down on the carpet and flipped the television on. It was a Wednesday night so I was excited about watching a new episode of Criminal Minds. As exhausted and sore as I was I thought it would be a good idea not to cook that night and besides that, I was woefully short on food and supplies in the house. I grabbed the phone and ordered some food for delivery, that way I’d have a minimal effort dinner and I’d have something for lunch the next day at work!
When the food arrived I had to get up to pay the man and getting up off the floor was very difficult. Stiffness was setting in with the soreness and after I paid, grabbed a plate, a Pepsi and some utensils I took a Motrin and hoped that would help reverse the process… well that and a nice quiet night in.
When I awoke the next morning it was far earlier than I expected. More than that when I tried to rise to go to the bathroom I discovered I couldn’t stand. I couldn’t put any weight on my bad ankle without screaming pain. It wasn’t this bad when I went to bed! The pain was throbbing whether I lay in bed, sat in a chair or did anything else. I propped up a bunch of pillows, blankets and whatever I could find so I could put my foot up. At that point I couldn’t even fathom getting into the shower, let alone making it into work.
I watched television all morning only getting up twice briefly to go to the bathroom. Both trips were excruciating. I dusted off the set of crutches I had from 2007 when I had the broken leg from the car attack. The crutches were a godsend as they enabled me to get around. When I am hurt like this I think about how great it is to have a small apartment. Despite my new found mobility, I couldn’t put my bad foot on the floor, not even a part of it. It wasn’t too hard to call in to work and let them know I wouldn’t be in. My boss commented the night before about how I should take a day or two off when she saw me limping out the door. After making it official that I’d be spending the day in the house, I got as comfortable as possible and made sure everything necessary was within arm’s reach and I took my repaired cable and internet for a day long test drive.
Friday was more of the same except there was a hint of improvement. I could stand on my heel with minimal pain. This was great if I had to make a prolonged stop. I even went into work for 2 hours. Thankfully my boss sent someone to pick me up at my door. After that I got a ride to the bank to cash my paycheck and I sat at my desk and did the best I could. I took a few painkillers but they were more like painmufflers. It wasn’t as bad as the day before but it was difficult to concentrate on my work when I was still in a good deal of pain so 2 hours was all I could handle.
When I returned home I plopped down in front of the television again. I wasn’t doing much better but at least I had personal time to cover my work absence and better than that, at least I now had a chunk of cash to order delivery food to my door. Things could have been worse.
By the time Friday evening came around I was starting the feel the self pity and depression that comes along with such an injury. I was collapsed in a heap in front of the television and it had been 48 hours since this ankle thing went out of control. I could stand on some of the injured foot but that was about it. Every few hours when I had to get up for something I would test the foot looking for any sign of progress to smile about. Unfortunately there was little.
I finished the last of the pizza I had purchased Wednesday evening earlier in the day and I needed something new to eat. My cupboards were close to bare and my fridge was close to empty. What great timing this was! I hurt my ankle when we get a foot of snow AND when I am woefully in need of supplies. Like I said, there was self pity!
Whenever I’m a gloomy-pants I get pulled out of it one of two ways: internally or externally. If I looked inside to shake it, it was going to take a while because it was going to be a while before I was up and around and that was going to be the best medicine. If I had looked to the outside to find a way out of the dumps I would have guessed that it would have taken something very profound.
A text came through from a friend asking me if I were still stuck in the house. I replied that I was and relayed my current condition to her and she seemed surprised to find out how bad it was. She asked me if I would be home all night and what I wanted to eat. She gave me 4 options. One of the options was stuffed shells. Unbeknownst to her only 20 minutes prior to her text I had ordered a calzone from a pizza place because I had a craving for ricotta cheese. Plus the place had Pepsi products so I ordered a 2-liter and some Hawaiian Punch. I was ordering as much for the fluids as I was the ricotta! When she listed stuffed shells among the options I couldn’t say no. I thought for a few minutes that she was going to cook for me and bring it over, how wonderful! But a few minutes later another text came in telling me to answer my door in about an hour. Ha-ha, she ordered me food from a nearby restaurant. As it turns out she was super busy but still took the time to order me dinner, and pay for it too no less! Her warmth warmed me and from that moment onward my attitude changed. I began to get super optimistic about every incremental improvement or decrease in pain. I felt like this was the moment I got over myself and turned the corner.
My calzone arrived first but I didn’t even open the box. I put it aside and waited for the main event. When it came there was another surprise, she got me antipasto too! I found a comfortable enough place for my foot and went to Munchville. For 15 minutes I was happy and that was 15 more minutes happy than I had been all day.
She checked up on me to see if everything arrived without a problem and she also asked me if I needed things from the store and mentioned that she would pick them up for me the next day and bring them over. This was the point were she went from nice to very kind. When I typed her a small list of things I needed I almost teared up a little because I couldn’t believe someone could be so kind to me. I sent her the email and although I didn’t sleep very much or very well, I felt like my soul was soothed. My body ached and things were definitely not right but my mind was doing fine. The expression chicken soup for the soul came to mind.
The next day there was definite improvement. I could walk around on the outside edge of the bad foot. The pain filled ankle turned into a pain filled inner ankle. When she arrived she blew my mind because not only had she so kindly gotten all these things I couldn’t get myself, she brought her dog over whom I absolutely love and she had a football cake in her hands (This was the day before the Super Bowl). It said “Go Steelers” on it and she told me I had to root for them now. How could I say no? She brought the things I requested and then some. Again she went above and beyond as she bought extra stuff for me and paid for it herself. Chief among them were the ingredients to a delicious sounding turkey chili that she was going to make for me right then and there! More than that, she brought some lunch from Moe’s! Can you believe this? I couldn’t and at this point she went from very kind to saint in my eyes. We ate and talked and laughed. I updated her on things going on with me and she did the same. For those 2 hours plus that she was over I don’t even remember feeling much pain and I certainly didn’t think about it much. That’s the power of extreme kindness. After the chili was ready she didn’t even have any, she left the entire pot for me! It turned out to be 5 bowls in 3 days. Even though that was nearly a week ago, I’m still floored when I think about the gesture.
The next day came and I had Super Bowl cake for the Super Bowl. Then Monday arrived and I could almost put weight on the entire foot. I returned to work although I only worked half a day. On Tuesday I worked a little longer and Wednesday longer still. Now here I am on Thursday working a full day and I can almost walk like a normal person again and best of all, I feel great internally! I can’t wait to go out for a nice long walk but at the same time, I’m being smart about this. I’m going to bus to and from work for at least a week to give it more time and I promise no more angry snow marching, especially if something hurts. My message to all of you is not to take things for granted because you never know what can happen. I realize no one lives their life this way. If we took nothing for granted we’d probably have to change a lot of things in our lives. I get that. What I’m saying is try to take a moment each day, reflect on what you have, appreciate it and try not to take the good things for granted, especially the love, the generosity and the kindness. As I look back on this whole ordeal my strongest memory of it by far is the kindness of an amazing woman. To be treated so thoughtfully and wonderfully, it was almost worth getting hurt… well almost. ;)
Live, Love, Laugh and Give!
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