I walked in the door a little extra hungry tonight. I ended up working until 6 when I could have left an hour earlier. There were 2 primary reasons for this. The first is that a section of the project I am working on was so close to being finished that I couldn't resist finishing it. I couldn't leave it 95% done until tomorrow. When I come in tomorrow morning I want to start on a new section. I want to start fresh with a fresh day. That always feels right to me. So my determination to get it done kept me there but to seal my fate today my boss and I talked around 4:30 and she was very pleased with my work the past week. She told me so and like the overgrown kid that I am I lit up like a Christmas tree. Growing up I hardly ever received positive reinforcement and although I am aware of this, I still get extra excited when someone complements, praises or thanks me for something I've done, especially if they mean it. After she illustrated how happy she was with the job I’ve been busting my butt on and being so meticulous about it gave me a boost of energy. If it weren't for the fact I was completing a whole section just before 6, I might have stayed even longer. Note to everyone, if you want to reach me, kill me with kindness. I can't resist it.
Needless to say I worked that last hour and a half with a vengeance. So when I threw my keys and phone down on the table I was ready to EAT! As far as food goes, what is better than working really hard whether it’s recreational, your job or even a workout and then “earning” your dinner? It’s so satisfying. When you sit down to eat you feel justified. At least that’s how I feel in that situation. I flipped on the computer, turned on the television and began to think about that well deserved meal.
Here’s the lowdown: I had the ingredients in the house to make pasta except for one, meat. Now I don’t have to eat pasta with meat. I had pasta, a variety of spices I hardly know what to do with and Mr. Paul Newman’s delicious pasta sauce. When we discuss Mr. Newman’s sauce, we must refer to him as Mr. Newman. That’s how much I love that sauce!
I could put the pasta together and call it an evening. That would have been simple enough. But maybe it’s the entitlement I felt with working hard for extra time at work or maybe it’s just my natural desire to spoil myself when possible due to my sometimes overwhelming desire to live in the moment… especially when I’m on my time. I was thinking of making homemade meatballs to go with the pasta and Mr. Newman’s fine sauce. I would need to get some meat.
Around this time it was quarter to 7. I began to drift one way and then the other. I really wanted the meat and maybe even some soft bread. Why not do it up? On the other hand, I’d have to go to the store to get the meat. My ankle is still a little tender and I want to eat as soon as possible so a trip that might take up to a half an hour might not work either. After several minutes of this back and forth I began to feel like Vizzini having a battle of wits with myself. Instead of a battle to the death for the princess it was a battle of wits to the dinner for the pasta.
“But it's so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you: are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own goblet or his enemy's? Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.”
Also impacting the decision was the fact I only had 7 dollars on me until tomorrow at 3pm. My paycheck comes in bi-weekly and as you might imagine that 14th day, the one right before payday is often my poorest. Now I have plenty of money in the bank but I was trying very hard not to take any out and at this point where it was after 7pm, there was no way for me to get any (I purposely do not know the pin number to my bank card so that I will never go to a ATM to take money out). So I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
Now tomorrow I will need lunch for work. Lunch will cost money unless I have leftovers to eat. Breakfast is already taken care of. I have a new box of cereal and I’ve been thinking about that bowl of Special K for tomorrow morning already. I wouldn’t want to eat it for lunch as well. That’s tacky. So would I need that $7 to get lunch? Or if I spent it now to enhance this meal and make it more filling there’s a high probability that there would be leftovers for lunch tomorrow. So it would be okay to spend it but I would still have to go get the additional ingredients. My tummy at this point was getting annoyed with my indecision and started to chime in with its opinion; “grawrururrurwwwwaarrr”. I don’t speak tummy so I don’t have the literal translation but the tone was an angry tone. That’s how I know.
Now it was getting to 7:30 and I still hadn’t made up my mind but I did however further complicate matters by adding additional options. I decided that if I was willing to go out to get things to enhance the meal, why not just get some takeout? I could get an entire quart of fried rice for less than the $7 I had left. I could even save some of it for tomorrow, although day old rice… not as good. Anyway the point was that I could buy food for tonight and tomorrow that had nothing to do with this whole pasta thing… sorry Mr. Newman.
Finally as the clock approached 8 the indecision had grown into something terrible. It had to be stopped. I filled a pot full of water and put it on the stove. I grabbed the pasta, some garlic, some peppers, onions and after a brief apology to Mr. Newman, the sauce. I laid everything out and took a look at all of it. Upon seeing the flame heating the bottom of the pot I knew it was over. I would eat meatless pasta tonight and I will retain the 7 dollars in case there are no leftovers! It’s a win-win!
I walked back into the main room so I could update my facebook status with my new adventure and find out if anyone could relate. About 20 minutes later I was eating. Everything came out well. I somehow figured out the perfect amount of spices to add and the chunky vegetables added a meat-like texture to the tasty pasta. I devoured the food in only a fraction of the time it took me to overthink whether to even make it. Now that I knew I was definitely in for the night I finally kicked off my shoes one at a time and followed that with my pants and shirt crumpled up next to them on the floor. It was about time to get comfortable. I thought about what I should do to get comfortable. How should I relax? I grabbed the remote and suddenly I was there. Well that was easy.
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