Thursday, June 14, 2012

Organized Chaos (6-14-12)

I'm still not sure if this will be a very beautiful or dangerous time for me. Change is all around, some of it forced, some of it beckons... will I resist? Sadness is also all around, it's powerful. Inside I feel like organized chaos. I want to be with people but I want to be alone. I just don't know. The creative juices are overflowing. I had to stop for a few minutes on the way to work today because I had so much on my mind that I had to write it all down. Inevitably I will be fine but the road to get there is sprinkled with crazy. My heart is standing on my brain. The days and weeks ahead should be interesting to say the least.

On the one hand I got to hide my love away but on the other I need to embrace it. Should I go with the flow, fight the current or just try to get a foothold in the journey and drop anchor. I'm perpetually uncomfortable and everything feels temporary.

My emotions are stronger than ever. I can go from happy to sad, relaxed to mad so quickly of late. I want hugs, I want sex, I want to be left alone. Passion out of control... I'm letting it out in bursts. All at once would be too much.

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