Saturday, July 7, 2012

Fireworks (7-6-12)


I just saw the most amazing thing. A few hours ago I wasn’t even sure I’d leave the house but I’m so glad I did. If you read my last blog you know things haven’t been easy for me lately. Usually when I’d hear about some cool thing happening soon I’d tell everyone I know about it. I may have mentioned it to a few people this week but for the most part I didn’t try to organize the peeps to check it out. This is due to how I’ve been feeling. It basically was a tribute to the war of 1812 at Delaware Park with music, entertainment, the Buffalo Philharmonic Orchestra and a fireworks show at the end. Best of all it was FREE!

Like I said, I mentioned it to a few people but as it turned out no one else could come. Now if you know me you know I hate to go to things alone. To me the best times are shared times, the best things are shared things. What good is a great time if it’s yours and yours alone? So after I had lunch this afternoon I started to think this evening wasn’t going to happen. I began to despair so much that I stayed later at work. Previously I had planned to leave for home by 6pm. The shindig at the park was starting at 5ish and going until the fireworks illuminated the sky after dark. When I left work it was 5 minutes to 8pm. You could say I had all but given up on the festivities. 

I walked into my apartment and my mind was more on food than fun. After I had a quick bite and settled in it was already 8:30… time to tap out and wave the white flag. The whole time I ate and checked social media I wanted to kick off my shoes and remove a few articles of clothing and achieve the next level of comfort, perhaps one that there is no return from but something wouldn’t let me go there.

My mind started to run through the hypothetical but likely. The fireworks wouldn’t start until total darkness which won’t happen until at least 9:30 at the earliest and the BPO would be wrapping up their performance during the fireworks show, so they’d probably start at 8 or even 8:30. I could hop on my bike and be there in 10-15 minutes. I could totally do that. I could still catch a big chunk of the show, even though I took my time to eat, even though I stayed at work an extra 2 hours. I could still do it.

Within a few minutes I was on the road with music blaring through my ear-buds and purpose in my pedaling. I’ve looked forward to this all week, I deserve this; I thought. Why should I not go just because I couldn’t convince anyone else to join me? This was an easy one… a short ride, outdoors, no charge. There was no reason NOT to go. Besides, on the 4th of July I was supposed to go to a cool party and see fireworks and I let my emotions get the better of me and I stayed home. But today is different. Today I wrote a happy poem. Today I left the house when I had all but given up o the evening. Today I might have turned the corner. Today I arrived at the park at about 10 minutes to 9 and even though I came into the park completely across from where the BPO was already playing, I could hear them clearly.

The people looked like ants from as far away as I was but the music was coming through nicely. I stopped next to the baseball diamonds and sat in one of the dugouts. The music sounded great. I wasn’t within eye shot of the show but I could recognize a classic tune that was affiliated with one of the military branches… okay, I could almost recognize it, but the music was loud and clear.

Did I want to continue further into the park and all the way to across from the zoo where the BPO was playing? I could see there were many people in chairs and even some lying on blankets far off in the distance. I wanted to enjoy the music but I didn’t really want to be around the people. So I stayed where I was for 10 minutes and thought it over to a beautiful soundtrack. After the 10 minutes of deliberating I decided I didn’t want to go any closer and in fact, I wanted to go a little further away. I thought about heading across the park to the lake side. I wanted to sit on the back stairs of the Albright Knox for the fireworks show. That sounded good. It would only take 5 minutes or so to ride there. I wouldn’t be able to hear the Orchestra any longer but I had somehow romanticized the back stairs at the gallery enough to myself that I didn’t mind the loss of the music.

I hopped on my bike and started back along the path but before I could even get 10 seconds into my trip I noticed something. I noticed the fireworks. They were set up on the golf course near the expressway side of the park. They were only 500 yards from where I was riding at that moment. Then I had an idea. Why not sit near the fireworks?!? I hopped off my bike and walked it onto the grass and made my way over to the kids’ soccer fields. Next to each of the two fields is a set of bleachers and I locked my bike up next to the one that was closest to the fireworks. I sat alone, a few rows up and now I was only about 100 yards away from them. As a bonus I could still hear the sweet symphony playing on the other side of the park.

There I sat and waited until it was nearly 10pm. It seemed pitch dark in the park and by now the joggers, bikers and walkers were at a minimum. I was so close to the fireworks set up, it seemed surreal… and NO one was anywhere nearby save the people passing a few hundred yards away on the exercise trails who were preoccupied with their fitness. I wondered if the fireworks were going to be extra loud being so close to them. I left my ear-buds in my ears to provide a small degree of protection against the booming sounds. It’s a good thing I did because when they began it sounded like cannons going off right next to me. The colors and sounds were amazing! The fireworks were going off so close to where I was I actually had to lay across the bleachers a bit to take it all in comfortably and not have to tilt my head up so drastically. They were right on top of me! It was the greatest fireworks show I’ve ever seen, no doubt due to my proximity to it. I had never been so close before and the whole 15 minutes that the sky above me was lit, no one was near me.

There I was practically lying underneath this majestic show and I was alone, and I enjoyed myself. Do I wish friends and/or loved ones could have been there to share that moment with me? Of course I do but for once that didn’t stop me from enjoying myself. Besides as I smiled and blurted out exclamations of joy under the color and lights while I sat there alone I felt special. Maybe I was too wrapped up in the moment but it was hard not to be. It felt like the show was happening just for me… they shouldn’t have. But regardless, I really appreciated it. 

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