Yesterday was an exercise in the emotional ups and downs of
life- a reminder that life is what you make it. It started off by seeing
Mnemosyne. Watching Paul play wonderfully and Angela dance gracefully and
beautifully, especially after what happened to her recently was simply
inspiring. Next I made my way down to Kleinhans for my last solo Infringement
show. Only a few folks showed up but they were wonderful and I read for them. I
read many positive pieces and my new one; Disappointment is a Dish Best Served
at Home"; a piece about the struggles of local artists. That's where my
head's been at lately.
I scurried down to Spot Downtown to try to catch the Pure
Ink National Team perform but alas I was late and missed them. Unfortunately we
were scheduled at around the same time. Disappointment was beginning to set in.
My faith in others, my faith in myself has been shaky lately. I needed
something to bring me back.
I then headed to Mohawk
Place for the Prince vs Bowie dance party, found a seat and sat my
conflicted ass down. Then something wonderful happened. I watched the magic and
beauty of a room full of folks, with more coming in all the time, dancing to
Prince and David. There was so much joy in this place, I was sure to catch it. A
smile came over me. Much thanks to Leslie for creating this event. After my
spirits were lifted and my faith restored, I hit the stage to perform my Prince
tribute poem "Purple Hearts". When I finished paying tribute to the
greatest, several folks came over to me to express their love and thanks. A few
people told me I made them or even their mom cry. I took a breath and thought
sometimes I just can't see my own worth; the things I am capable to giving to
others. I thought that maybe I am more than I think I am.
After watching a few performances I went outside, unlocked
my bike and started the long ride home from downtown. I felt really good, like
I had ended on a high note. I got about a quarter of the way home and suddenly the
skies opened up. I stopped under a tree, put my valuables in a baggie, loaded
them into my pack and began to despair once again. I thought of course it’s
pouring when I have this long ride home. I wanted to feel dread but a strange
thing happened. A smile came over me. I thought, you know, this could be quite
refreshing. I resumed my journey home with my newfound attitude serving as a
raincoat for my soul. I rode up Elmwood and the lightning filled the sky, the
thunder echoed across the air. Save for a few cars, no one was out. It was
raining too hard. Puddles were abundant, I rode through a few. Within minutes I
was completely soaked so any additional rain didn't matter. Let the rain come
down. The harder it rained, the more I smiled. Some words came out. I sang
"I never meant to cause you any sorrow. I never meant to cause you any
pain." Before I knew I was singing Purple Rain as I slowly made my way up Elmwood Avenue. I
didn't stop or lower my voice as I passed people running to their cars or a
cab. I sang that entire song, the guitar alive in my mind, my hands banging on
the handlebars like Bobby Z on the drums. I became the Revolution. "Honey,
I know times are changing". I arrived home as wet as any person can be
outside of the bedroom. I was exhausted from both the physical and emotional
rides I took yesterday but I was pleasantly satisfied. At least for one night,
the world made sense. I think I'm gonna be alright.
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