Poetry 201: Recaps and Recordings (8-3-12)

A week ago today I was stressed and excited like you wouldn’t believe. I was only hours away from my poetry show Young Hearts and Old Minds and I wanted badly for things to go well. I’ve only been reading out sporadically the last few years but I feel like I’ve grown a lot as a poet. In the beginning I was petrified to read in front of people, which is quite natural but somehow in the 15 or so performances I’ve made at slams, open mics and festivals, the reading in front of strangers thing doesn’t bother me anymore. I’ve overcome that fear, poetry 101 passed with a B+. Now I’m on to poetry 201 and the anxiety comes from internal rather than external forces. It comes from myself. Now, my big fear is how well I will read the pieces. Will I stumble on certain words or lines? Will my delivery be as good as I want? Will the emphasis and timing be correct when I need it to be? Basically, I worry that I’ll screw up the presentation. I feel confident as a writer but not as much as a reader/performer. Hopefully over time, I’ll get there but as critical of myself as I’ve always been I wonder how long it will take.

For those who wondered how the show went, I’d say it went okay, which probably means it went good if you take my hypercritical nature out of play. I didn’t have any major blunders but I did have a few hiccups out there. Reading for 40-45 minutes straight isn’t easy though and several times in the show I had to sip some water to keep from being too dry, or just to get a few seconds rest and pause. The crowd wasn’t as big as I wanted but part of that was the venue compared to last year’s venue. Last year anyone walking down Allen Street could see me read (and practically hear) and some did venture in and help pad the attendance numbers. This year I read at a really cool venue but it was in the back room of said venue greatly diminishing the amount of casual traffic passing by. Unless you were in the back of the bookstore, you wouldn’t have known anyone was reading back there.

The people who did show up are the best people in the world in my book and I love them for it. I hope they enjoyed themselves hearing my words and stories as much as I did delivering them. The most frequent question I heard this past week was; when was I reading again? Many of the poets in the festival booked themselves 3, 4, 5 or more different slots during the festival. For the 2^nd straight year, I only booked the one. I didn’t realize there was an abundance of slots. I thought, why be greedy and take up several slots from other poets. Now that I see there are tons of them and everyone else is doing it I’ll be sure to grab several more next year and spread it out. Lesson learned.

I did post on my facebook page the links to the audio recorded from the show (Thanks Scott!). Now I’ll post it here. The location is: http://soundcloud.com/eddie-gomez-poetry/sets  All 11 pieces I performed are there and they are set up as 11 individual tracks so you can go to my soundcloud page and click on them separately and listen to one poem, a few or all of them, it’s up to you. Maybe you’ll be in the mood for timeless youth (I Don’t Wanna Grow Up), optimism after heartbreak (The One Hit Wonder), the story of my brother’s passing (8 Days in Hell), tales of friendship and unrequited love (For Her) reaching rock bottom with being overweight (Willing and Unable) and so much more! Any feedback on my words/work is appreciated.

I can’t tell you how elated I am at having my work recorded in some fashion. Well maybe I just did. I’m thrilled! One, it’s there for many of you who wanted to hear me read but cannot due to distance or other factors. Secondly I can’t stress enough how valuable a learning tool it is for me. To be able to hear my interpretation of these pieces at that point and time is helping me to improve. It’s going to help me improve my delivery but also with the 6 brand new pieces I read for the first time last week, I’ve been tweaking them and fixing lines, writing new ones and sharpening them up so the next time you hear them they might be a teeny bit different but hopefully better! Being able to hear them both adds to my confidence and shows what to tweak. Plus adding that element made me feel like the reading was that much more special. It definitely made it a night to remember, at least for me. :)

Tonight unlike last Friday is a very different night. There’s no pressure, no stress and instead of racing down to Allen Street full of nervous energy, I’m gonna work late, head home at a comfy pace and then see where the night takes me if it takes me anywhere at all. In a way I’m relieved I not going through the crazy feelings of a week ago but at the same time I miss it. I think that means I need to read again soon. In this case how about the night after my birthday at the Pure Ink poetry slam at Merge? That’s Wednesday night for all of you who don’t know. That’s where I’ll be next and if you listen closely you’ll be able to hear the changes I’ve made to the newest pieces, 2 of which I’ll be reading there. See you then!