Finishing an awful chapter… (3-30-17)

You can’t start the next chapter until you finish the current one. You can quit the current one, put it off, even run from it but you need closure before you can begin the next one. Whatever that closure is, it’s necessary. It’s what frees you to explore, to keep moving. Have you ever run into a situation where you have to complete the chapter, even if it’s absolutely brutal and you want to move on? You have to finish every agonizing part of it. Then to make matters worse, you lose control of when and how you can complete it. You’re on someone else’s schedule now and they will force you to finish it. All you can do is wait and react for when you have permission. It kind of takes the fun out of it, right? That’s how I had been feeling lately. Like someone was forcing me to write a chapter of my own story that I objected to. It's a frustrating cake with angry icing. I have been choking it down for weeks.

If you follow my blogs, you’d know all about the girl down the hall at my old place. You’d know about the crazy incidents, the fights, the arrests and my misery around all of it. I hated my old apartment. I took a chance on a new neighborhood, tried something different and it didn’t work. I had crazy, violent neighbors, bar people in front of my place screaming every night and my bike got stripped down to its’ skeleton in broad daylight! I had daily anxiety and so much stress that I gained 35 pounds in 4 months! When the opportunity arose to get the hell out of there, I took it. Shortly after I made arrangements to leave the girl down the hall was evicted for not paying her rent. Go figure. She and her cast of live-in partygoers and domestic abusers were a major problem but they weren’t the only one. Plus who knows who or what would have moved in next. I mean, they allowed this idiot to move in. I had extremely low confidence in the management.

If I could do it all again I would have approached the management and told them everything that was happening and about my intention to leave instead of jumping the gun a bit, whether I felt I had a good reason or not. I thought that I could break my lease but in the end I discovered technically I could not and upon delivering my 30-day written notice to management I was immediately told of their intention to sue me for the duration of my lease, in fact they filed a lawsuit against me the very next day! I was surprised by this. If I tell you I want to leave, don’t you think you’d ask why? Prior to my leaving I didn’t tell them about all the crazy stuff that was going on, despite having kept a journal of events complete with dates and times. Since my apartment was the only one between the girl down the hall and the outside door and also due to the fact that many of the hallway incidents occurred literally right outside my door, I felt like if I snitched on them, they’d know it was me and I didn’t want to deal with that added stress, of constantly looking over my shoulder coming in and out of the building or having a specific reason to feel threatened. I’ve seen this happen in the past. These were people who had guns and no regard of the law, proven by the fact that there was more than one arrest over a few weeks and then pride afterwards at how many cops it took to restrain them, or how difficult they made their job. I didn’t want to get mixed up in that, nor did I want to live next to it anymore. So I made arrangements to leave. The management never showed any concern for my situation, never asked, never cared about anything other than the money. They are a business and that’s their right but the guy who owned the company is filthy rich already. He owns 20-something buildings locally including 400 rental units all over town and a hotel. He’s not hurting for money. Nor would it have been much trouble to re-rent my apartment, who for a different personality, might be a dream spot.

I did not want to go to court and lose a judgment to him because of the money but more so having that on my record. I’d get blacklisted by all the rental companies in the area. They’re all doing credit and background checks these days. So I studied what my rights were and began to prepare for court. I tried to get free legal assistance from a few community based legal groups who help lower income folks with their legal issues. Unfortunately or fortunately, I made a little too much money to qualify for these groups. I was on my own.

I was ready to present a narrative of someone who couldn’t bear to live in that apartment any longer. I was afraid of the neighbors, afraid I’d get sucked into some violent drama, annoyed at the constant noise from the bar people outside my window every night after midnight, dismayed at how unhappy I was that I gained 35 pounds in 4 months and had to leave for the sake of my mental health. This wasn’t an exaggeration.

Could I have handled things better? Of course but I was not going to allow this dude to win a judgment of over $4,000 against me. I was going to fight. So I read everything I could about small claims court; presentation, how to prepare and what things I should focus on in my argument. I wasn’t trying to get out of my lease scot free but I was trying to keep the damage fair and as mild as possible. In my mind, I could pay him one additional month’s rent and maybe he could keep my deposit which he already had. I thought that was fair. In the weeks leading up to the court date I had to pack, move and had so much on my plate while all the while I knew in the back of my mind that this day in court hung over me almost as heavily as actually living there during the circus that drove me out. Did I want to leave it up to a judge to decide? The fact of the matter was I was breaking a lease that still had 7 months on it. I had my reasons and to me they were vital but in court they could be debatable. What if he was awarded 3 months rent? That would be too much to bear and I would be livid just on principle. I get why leases have to be so strict because there are a lot of deadbeats out there, people who would try to screw over property owners and disappear into the abyss. I wasn’t one of those people so after reading any and all information I could find over 2 weeks I decided to introduce a new tactic; humbling up.

I sent the landlord a text, apologizing for how screwed up things had become. I also told him I would be willing to do whatever I could to help him find a new tenant. I also laid on pretty thick how poor I am for three reasons: 1- to see if I could generate any sympathy from the guy, 2- to remind him that I would be very difficult to collect from in the case of a large financial judgment and 3- to get him to accept a smaller amount as a settlement. I wasn’t lying to the guy, I’m not made of money but I still painted a picture of a poor, scared tenant that panicked who really isn’t a bad guy nor is trying to hide from the problem. I made sure all our communications were through text so that anything that was said, I’d have a record of and could use in court if necessary.

By re-opening the lines of communication my mind was put a little at ease as he replied that he would like me to have the place as clean as possible so he could start showing the apartment in order to mitigate both our damages. This gave me some optimism as I knew if he put an ad up on Craigslist and put forth an effort he might even have a new tenant by the time I left at the end of March. After all, there was still 3 weeks left in March at the time it was discussed. He said he’d put an ad in. In an effort to make things easier all around I actually moved out on March 22^nd instead of the end of the month. I came the next morning and cleaned the heck out of the place. The apartment actually looked better than it did when I moved in 5 months earlier, plus the cigarette stench was gone. When I saw the place the first time, the previous tenant still lived there and knew we were coming so he had some incense burning to hide it but when I started arriving with boxes the day after this guy moved out the smell was suffocating. The carpet, the ceiling tiles, everything reeked of cigarettes. It took weeks and a whole lot of effort to finally get that smell out of there. I was now leaving an apartment that smelled of scrubbing bubbles and pine sol.

As the court date was fast approaching a funny thing happened, he didn’t put up an ad. He wasn’t making any attempt to fill the place, even after I left. I took note of this in case I had to use this information in court. Here’s a studio in one of the most vibrant areas of the city. Yeah it was a small place and it surely wasn’t for me, but for someone else it might be perfect. I didn’t think it would be empty for long.

I decided for my last act before our court date to make an offer for settlement. If he accepts it, great and if he doesn’t I would have it on record that I was trying to work out something reasonable with the guy. So I texted him and told him I could probably scrape together one month’s rent for him. He responded that he would accept that, cancel our lease and the court proceedings if I also would forfeit/surrender my security deposit as well. I thought about it. He already had my deposit so what he was asking for wasn’t any “new” money. The lease stated that upon moving I was going to be charged $75 for a cleaning fee regardless and I believe there were a few other small charges as well. Do I accept his counter offer, do I counter back myself or do I take my chances in court? After considering what would be best I decided to accept his counter offer of one month’s rent and he keeps my deposit. That was what I would have been looking for in court anyway, besides, I thought it was more than fair for him, all things considered.

I told him I needed to see our agreement in writing. He said he’d have it in writing the next morning and I could come down and pay the rent, sign it and we’d be good so the next morning I went down, paid, signed, got receipts and copies of everything and left feeling lighter. I had just moved into my new place and there were issues and projects I wanted to tackle there. I didn’t want to worry or dwell on this past chapter any longer and I had been doing nothing but for nearly a month. The settlement agreement had only one provision, he would cancel our lease and court date if I paid and after he inspected the place to make sure I didn’t cause any damage.

Well as I mentioned, I cleaned the hell out of the place so I expected that this was over. But before I could turn the page we still had the matter of a court date 6 days away. We had a settlement and I had proof I met my end of it but as the days drew nearer to the big day, I received no communication that my case was canceled, dismissed or that I shouldn’t go. While I knew that any decision by the court could be appealed I was not about to miss court unless I received some official word that I didn’t have to go.

This morning I got up far earlier than I’d prefer, hopped on the bus and made my way there, ready for anything, whether that meant showing copies of the settlement paperwork, arguing my case, proving I left the place in good shape, whatever it could be I was ready. I arrived ten minutes early and the bell in the elevator dinged signaling my floor. I walked out of the elevator to a very empty place. There were 2 people on the entire floor and when I saw who it was, I smirked and thought, of course it’s them.

Sitting right outside the courtroom I needed to report to was the girl from down the hall and her mother. That same mother who introduced herself to me the day I was moving in and assured me that my new home was a “great place” with “really nice people, and so quiet”. That was why I smirked. I walked past them like I didn’t know them and sat down further down the long hall. It’s not like I didn’t have my choice of seats. The girl looked at me and she knew who I was. She probably didn’t know I moved considering she got evicted a few weeks after I gave notice but a few weeks before I left. She might have even wondered what I was doing there. Since she showed up she planned to fight as well and not just let the guy win a default judgment against her. I heard her and her mother talking about how management didn’t fix her bathtub or how some light in the hallway didn’t work. She was going to try to say she didn’t pay rent and was evicted because she was withholding money over the landlord not performing their duties as they should have. Right. I wondered if she thought I was there to help the management testify against her and what she did to ruin the place; all the parties, the noise, the endless fights, arrests, etc. Oh the stories I could tell…

The judge was 45 minutes late so I had plenty of time to go over every scenario, rehearse all my answers and rebuttals if necessary. I felt like I was prepared for every possible scenario. When the judge finally arrived something else occurred to me… conspicuous by his absence was my former landlord. He didn’t show. I know he and I had a settlement but from what I could tell, he didn’t have a settlement with the girl down the hall. Since no one representing the management’s side showed up, within a few minutes both her case and my case were dismissed because the other party, the plantiff, wasn't there. A thought crossed my mind, was this his play the whole time? Was he never planning on showing up or did he not show up because he and I settled and he got paid already? That’s something I’ll wonder about for a little while. I paid one month’s rent to get out of seven, so I’m not crying but I do wonder. Also, if he wasn’t gonna show and he and I are cool, I wish the mofo would have told me so I wouldn’t have had to drag my tired ass down to court at 9am for no reason.

I left the courthouse mildly annoyed but greatly relieved. This nightmare was finally over. After 5 of the worst months I’ve ever known I feel like I can finally move on with my life. I’ve been reunited with people and cats that I missed terribly for those 5 difficult months and I feel a sense of peace I haven’t felt in quite a while. My mind is drifting to thinking creatively about what can happen for me rather than obsessively about what could happen to me. That means getting back to my poetry, performing and writing again. It’s like Maslow’s hierarchy of needs theory says; once the basic and psychological needs are met, then self fulfillment can be addressed. Now that I’m not stressing every second about crazy neighbors, worrying about what’s going to happen, wondering what I should do, then worrying about moving and being sued, it will be nice to have my overactive mind at ease, able to dream again, able to throw myself into my work again.

Right before I posted this, I decided to check craigslist one last time, to see if he finally listed my old apartment yet and wouldn’t you know, at that moment, it was the first ad I saw at the top of the page. He’s even asking for more rent now too. It may be petty but I'm hoping the prick doesn’t get someone to rent it until next month so he doesn’t get double rent for April. With that I clicked to a different webpage and it was like I changed the channel on the remote, except this was a channel I was never going to watch again. Now that I’m finished with it, I can just turn it off and move on. That’s the last time I ever look at that chapter of my life again. Good luck and goodbye.